Things that annoy me- in no particular order.

1. People who stuff paper into bottles or cans. I think this goes back to my bar waitress days. At least I know I share this feeling with other women who have waited tables. I'm not even going to mention the gross habit of putting cigarettes out on plates. Someone did that at my house once and I had to throw the plate in the trash.

2. Corporations like Alltel who charge you 2.99 a month for Texas Hold 'Em on your cell phone when it isn't there and when you call customer service the woman with a very southern accent tells you the only way to get rid of it is to take the phone to the store so they can remove it. So you take it to the store and the customer service person says she can't do anything because Texas Hold 'Em isn't on your phone.

3. People who let their dogs crap on my flower beds. I don't mind when they crap on the grass. I like dogs and know they have to go somewhere but when there is a big wide grassy boulevard, why would you let your dog meander across the sidewalk and up the hill to crap on my flowers? Last spring some thoughtless moron let his dog crap on my flowers at least a dozen times. This was no accident. I picked it all up in those bright orange bags the shopper comes in and let it lay right there where Fido dropped it. It looked like my yard had been carpet bombed.

4. Long menus on the telephone. I get distracted and have to hang up and start over. Can there be just one or two choices? Five or six with submenus is too much.

5. People who turn the corners of library books over because they're too lazy and self-absorbed to get a damn bookmark.

6. Limp and pale french fries. What is the point?

7. Antibacterial dishwashing soap. Isn't the act of washing the dishes enough? I need to disinfect them? This is some OCD person's idea of a good idea.

8. Scented toilet paper and garbage bags. What is the point? I saw a dog water dish once that pumped a constant supply of fresh water for the the dog. Our dog drinks from the toilet if he gets a chance so we're going to spend 50 dollars for fresh water for him? I don't think so.

9. Frozen food. Some pizza is ok, but most frozen food is putrid and I think there should be a law that people can't eat it in your work cafeteria in front of you. I bought a South Beach chicken dinner once that was so awful I threw it in the trash and then threw out the other one in the freezer. I swear it was made from the chicken butts.

10. When I'm on hold for thirty minutes with Mediacom about my bill. Someone finally answers and they want my address, my phone number, and then....the last four digits of my husband's social security number. I come unglued. Why in the hell do you want the last four digits of my husband's social security number? The very calm customer service agent tells me it's so they can confirm my identity. So I ask him who else would spend 30 minutes on hold to pay my *%#@*^%% bill? Well? Who would?

Ms. Crabbypants is going to bed now.