The Blog: Spellbound by our own imperfect lives...

I can't seem to stop waking up at 4 a.m. I don't mind it as I'm a lot more productive at 4 a.m. than I am at 5 p.m. but the rest of the world is not really set up to deal with an early riser. You can't make phone calls or visit people or go shopping at 4 a.m. Regis is able to sleep longer some days so I don't like to bang around in the kitchen too much either. Today, he is awake too, so we sit in front of our little fireplace, drinking coffee and ruminating about the days behind and the days ahead. Today, we're going to spend my birthday with Mom. I have a box of red wine, some costume things, and a squash to take along. Squash might seem like a funny thing to take but it's a lesson from my Aunt Vi...always take something edible. I don't remember her ever coming without a box of flatbread or a package of lefse or some apple bars. Later this afternoon, we'll get dressed up to pass out candy to the little kids. Some of them are so cute it brings te...

Regis was at Tom and Betty's taking pictures this morning. I like this one because he says it looks like I think I'm Jay Leno or something. Workin' the crowd. I spent a lot of time in the run this morning talking to people I know (Jill and Larry), hugging friends (Edna), looking at babies (Ethan and Owen) and waving my arms around. And apparently pointing at people. It was a hoot.

Ella came over last Sunday to play dress up with me. I have a perfect house for dress up play. I have lots of jewelry, lots of quirky clothes, feather boas and velvet purses, and hats. We had a wonderful time. Ella is a good subject. She's photogenic and she loves to mug for the camera. So do I and it makes us a good team.  She wanted to surprise her Popop so we got all dressed up in the bedroom then walked out wrapped in shawls. Surprise! This is a bad picture of the front door of Madden's Classic Restaurant in Brainerd. I went up to a conference and Regis came along. We had a room at the other resort up there where the rooms remind you of Dirty Dancing and the food is not very good. We always make time to wander over to Madden's where the food is superb and the atmosphere romantic. As always, a wonderful time. We went early so we could watch the fire on the patio. We lingered until dark and enjoyed the fireplace, the twinkling lights, and the mood. Lovely. Regi...

Regis cautioned me, gently, the other day to watch myself for signs of big headedness. With all the attention from the half marathon and a couple of very nice things that have happened as a result, he said it is possible to become too full of one's self. To think that a guy is all that, I guess. I wasn't offended at all because I know he has my very best interests at heart. He has been my greatest supporter and champion and coach through all the days of pre-surgery, weight loss, exercise, and dietary changes. So, when he suggested this to me, I spent a couple days thinking about it. What have I been feeling? Mostly I feel gratitude for this chance. I feel overwhelming gratitude for the medical expertise of the doctors at the Mayo Clinic for helping me finally beat down the weight monster. I feel grateful to all my friends and family and the online support group I belong to for cheering me on and for holding me up on dark days. I am grateful to Rachel and the other ladies at...

I was probably a little cocky. I wasn't worried about this half-marathon because I had gone ten miles before and wasn't too worried about my time. I just wanted to finish. There was a point, around mile 10, where I had my doubts. If that guy would have traded his bicycle for my half a peanut butter sandwich, I would have been gone. My knees hurt, my leg muscles were tight as hell, and I needed something I wasn't getting from the pavement. I started to get passed about mile 10 by marathoners. You would not ever mistake me for one of them as they are scantily clad, they run with a fierce and focused look, and they have an amazing form. Ah, well. I don't do too badly for an old gal. It was an amazing experience. I lined up with almost 2000 other folks, we ran down the streets and onto the country roads together. I talked to hundreds of volunteers who passed out water, offered encouragement, and   in the end, asked if I was alright. As much as I hurt in the end, I wan...

I've never worn hats in my life, but a few weeks ago, I impulsively bought this hat at Kohl's. I love it. So last night after our lovely dinner of stuffed peppers on the grill, Regis and I wander down to Patrick's for a glass of wine. I wear the red hat. As we walk in, two of the characters sitting at the bar, start hooting about the Red Hat Club. I snorted. No, I am not a member of any Red Hat Club and I don't think those old ladies wear over-the-knee boots with three inch heels, I say. What the hell. The younger guy comes over later to say he meant no offense but his mom is in a Red Hat Club so he just thought...I say keep walkin' pal, you are just digging yourself in deeper. I'm not fond of clubs. Since I quit the Girl Scouts in sixth grade, I've been resistant to clubs. I was a member of a garden club for a while but it started to feel oppressive when there were expectations. I can see myself wearing a hat and going out to a bar and having a good ...

That's not really the subject of my post this morning but it is the title of a poem by John Engman from his book Temporary Help . I liked it so I borrowed it. Regis and I are sitting in front of our little Duraflame Ben Franklin stove. We have enjoyed that little stove so much already. We sit here every morning and every evening...coffee at one end of the day and wine at the other. Kramer loved to lay right where the warm air comes out. We miss him often and hear the sound of his nails on the kitchen floor even though we know he's gone. I got a last brochure regarding the Mankato Marathon this morning. I was distressed to learn that they have something called a Sag Wagon. If you aren't done by 2:15, the sag wagon comes along and picks up your sorry ass and hauls it to the finish line. If I'm not done by 2:15, I will be taking a nap on someone's lawn. Sag wagon. Uff da. Of course, I imagine something that looks like this being trundled down the streets of Mank...

Thanks to Bob for sending this poem! That Kind of Party Patrick Swaney I go to the party wearing a strand of lights around my neck like a scarf. It turns out I’m the only one at this party wearing lights as a scarf and even though people tell me I look fabulous I feel self-conscious and regret my decision. I get drunk because it is a party and tell everyone that these aren’t my lights, they’re borrowed from a friend. Yes, but do they work? they ask. If you plug them in, but really I never wear lights, normally, I try to explain. I’m led to a corner where I spend the rest of the night against the wall tethered to an outlet. People love the lights even more now and the party expands around me. The lights paint my face a strange color and the few bulbs that touch skin are painful but people keep bringing me drinks, clapping me on the shoulder, and complimenting me on my lights. And I have to remind them that they aren’t my lights, I only borrowed th...

This morning, we had to have our little dog, Kramer, euthanized. He has been declining for a while and for the last few days had more trouble walking. Yesterday he wouldn't eat or drink and he seemed to be in some distress. Never an easy thing to do, this was particularly painful for Regis. He and Kramer spent a lot of time together in the last couple years and he'll miss him terribly. On Saturday, I did my practice run for the half-marathon. I put on my little shoes, packed a peanut butter sandwich in my pocket, and down the road I goes. (Isn't that the way a Shel Silverstein poem ends? I wraps my hair around my bare and down the road I goes...) I made it a little more than ten miles and wasn't even winded when I got done which probably means I could have gone faster. My goal was not to go too fast, though...it was to see if I would survive that distance and apparently, I will. There are 2,000 people registered for the marathon, half-marathon, and 10K on Saturday....

Bob sent this by email the other day and I thought it was so funny, I asked if I could post it here. So, with his permission: ******************************** On Saturday -- fueled mostly by the guilt of seeing that the elderly neighbors to our west had hired the family to their west to cut, rake, and mulch their yard -- I spent many hours doing the same to the part of our property that adjoins theirs and then, despite the fact that we have a lawn service from Little Falls that comes each fall and spring to do the complete clean-up, I kept moving across the yard until the piles of leaves were so deep that I was no longer visible and could only be found at dusk by Marilyn because she followed the sound of my whimpering and there, having little or no mercy because, after all, Yellowjacket Lawn Service could be here any day, or no understanding of how far guilt can drive me, she merely tied one end of a piece of twine to my foot and the other to the front door knob and said, "Follo...

I woke up at 2 and finally got out of bed at 3:30. Good grief is all I can say to that. We had conferences last night so I think it was a combination of over-stimulation and being out of my routine. When I got home, Regis and I had a glass of wine and some cheese while we visited about the day. It just wasn't enough time to cruise into sleep mode. I'm going to the Pulse at 5:00 to run seven miles. I've been lacking the running mojo lately. Just out of my groove since school started. I did a nine mile run once but that was the longest and that was three weeks ago. The half marathon is coming up in a few weeks and I'm not sure what possessed me to sign up for it. Peer pressure I guess. Even at my age...we're vulnerable. I've examined all the reasons why I might be slacking in the exercise department. I have blamed the half marathon. I'm a little oppositional at heart (still an adolescent, Amanda!) and when I feel like I have to do something, suddenly I don...

Yesterday we motored up 169 to Dangerfield's. Motored seems like the right word since we left early and took our time. We met Jack and Kathy at 5:00 because we're old coots and we don't like to be out too late or drive in the dark. We sat on the patio, enjoyed a glass of wine, watched the leaves fall in the river. Lovely time. This picture was taken with the new phone. Jack has a Droid, too, so he and Regis talked phone technology. Jack showed us an app called Bump. He took a picture with his phone, then he and Regis simply bumped their two phones together...and magically the picture went into the other phone. Amazing. This morning, Regis emailed the picture from his phone to my computer. We're having kids and friends over for burgers on the grill tonight. Easy menu: burgers, roasted vegetables, squash, apple crisp. The birch leaves are thick on the patio so there may not be much patio sitting but it's beautiful. In the sunlight, they look like drops of sun and...

Regis and I have always been pretty cheap about cell phones. We didn't want the latest thing, we wanted the least expensive thing. But we were getting more and more frustrated with our phones, so we splurged and bought the Droid X. Oh, my. This is amazing. Here are some of the things we've discovered: Monday I had no idea what an app was and now I have a bunch of them. Sometimes, information gets in my head and I'm not sure how. Did it come via email or text message? This thing integrates it all so smoothly that it's hard to tell. Well, for me anyway. I opened up the google calendar app which we use on the computer. There, on the phone, is the google calendar with our plans for tonight. How do it know? I'm sure I will keep adding to the list. Today, we're going up to Shakopee to meet an old high school friend and her husband. The weather is so weird, though, that I don't know what to wear. I put summer clothes away three weeks ago. What now? Off to we...

I try to have a brain filter, a good one. I use it for this: To not pay attention to things that are not my business To ignore things I can't do anything about To identify problems that don't have solutions To find the simple do-able parts of complex problems To separate the drama from the real issues To ignore things I don't need to know about like stuff on the news It makes life a little easier. The weather has been absolutely breath-taking. We've cooked on the grill a couple times this week and one night even ate on the patio as it was too gorgeous to come inside. We made stuffed peppers and I had mine with a nice glass of malbec. Oh, my. Delicious. Last night, Regis cooked steak and a couple pieces of fish, halibut and salmon. Another feast. It's Friday. Made it through another week.

I suppose the subject line of my post will be censored by the place that I work. That's why I bought a Droid X. The last two weeks have been hard. This afternoon, I discovered that it was because I needed a better filter. This afternoon, I dealt with problems in a rapid fashion, dispensed advice over the phone, gave directions rapid fire. At the end of the day, I felt better. I came home to a charcoal fire on the grill, stuffed peppers ready to go, and a glass of malbec. Nice way to end the day. More tomorrow.

October is my birthday month. If you know me, you know that I love my birthday and start reminding people far in advance that it's coming. I don't think of this as self-absorption, but as something I really enjoy so I better make sure it happens. You don't get to whine about missing the celebration if you don't take a hand in it yourself. Tonight I talked to me dear friend, Betty. For the last several years, we've celebrated my birthday at their house with food and wine and camarad eri. We like to pass out candy to the little kids, dress up in crazy costumes, cook up a bunch of good food, and generally act crazy. They invite all our friends and kids and grandbabies so it's a wonderful time. I'm looking forward to it. Tonight I made a menu for the coming week. For the last two weeks, things have been so crazy, I have neglected many things and that's just one. Regis is shopping for groceries tomorrow morning so the larder will be stocked again. Now, ...

In a lame attempt to get caught up on my blog, I'm posting random pictures in no real order. Kind of like my brain has been for the last month. The photos above are of Highway 169 north of St. Peter. If this is really what that road looks like, it could be a while before we travel that way again. I guess the sandbags didn't help. After school today, we went out to Fred's (it was his 64th birthday yesterday) and bought mums and pumpkins. Aren't they beautiful? This is the chicken (named after Fred) in the recently cleaned up garden. I am embarrassed that the garden looked so shabby this year. I lost interest for some reason. I decided to clean it up good this fall so in the spring it's ready for the make-over. I'm tired of some of that stuff I've had in there for years. Many of the sunny perennials need to be moved out and replaced with shady perennials. The chicken looks good, though, eh? I have neglected some aspects of my life in the last month...