The Blog: Spellbound by our own imperfect lives...

I never travel but I have been to New Jersey and seen the famous Boardwalk. It's a lot like the Minnesota State Fair only spread out over many miles along a...well, a boardwalk. In the height of the summer season, it is an ocean of people right next to the real ocean which also scares me. I know about under-tows. I did dabble one foot in when I was there but I had no interest in going any further. I'm pretty sure there are sharks in there, too. In a fit of nostalgia for his youth, Regis decided we should have a Boardwalk party. Most of the guests will be native Midwesterners who have no idea what this is but fair food is fair food no matter where you go. The menu includes: Italian sausage sandwiches with grilled peppers and onions, soft pretzels, sno cones, pizza, and salt water taffy. No nutrition there, my friends! We're also making zepoles which look a lot like donut holes to me and I think it would be easier to go the gas station and buy some of those tiny ...

I know it wasn't that bad. Anything for a story, though, and I'm a believer in exaggeration for effect. I've done some informal polling and I can't find anybody who loves the State Fair and only a few who admit to attending every few years. Some are like me and vow they will never attend again. They all cite the same reasons: crowds, parking, noise, inflated prices, and suffocating heat. There you go. It makes me wonder what the demographic is for the millions of people who are there. I've had a headache the last two days that makes me feel like I couldn't organize a sack lunch. I used this line on Facebook so you may have read it there. If I come up with a good line, I like to get maximum mileage out of it. No sense in frittering away my best comic moments. Some may not agree that my line is funny but hey, I have a headache; it's the best I can do. I've been reading historical fiction lately. Like the State Fair, I'm not sure what the attracti...

I realize this is my own personal moral failing, but I cannot find anything to recommend the State Fair. I know a lot of people love it and some even go there every year. My last trip was probably 20+ years ago and I don't care if the next one is at least that far into the future. I saw in the paper that there were 150,000 people at the fair on Saturday when it was cold and rainy so I don't even dare to think how many were there yesterday. I heard a rumor at one point that they closed the entrances because it was full. How full would the State Fair have to be to be full? Update: Attendance for Sunday was 210,570. Saturday's attendance was 215,847. That's a lot of people. Not of my own choosing, I spent the entire day at the fair yesterday. I left my house at 8 a.m. and it was about 7:30 when I returned. These are my cranky ass comments. We ran into traffic about 45 minutes away from home. Bad traffic. Cars that drive very fast and weave in and out of lanes. T...

Here I sit. Staring into space and drinking coffee. Wondering where the week went even though it's only Thursday. Sometimes I get the sense that I'm standing still and everything is whizzing past, like the opening scene of Star Wars. My friend, Joanne, has gone back to a to-do list because she says she'll forget what she needs to do if she doesn't have one. I say that's not a bad thing. I make a list from week to week but it's usually only a list of places I have to be. Not things I have to do. I am seriously bad at accomplishing things. Yesterday I got the urge to purge and filled two boxes and a big plastic tub with stuff. Clothes I don't wear, half bottles of lotion and perfume, canning jars I bought and never used because the inspiration for them had dissipated before I unwrapped the box. Probably before I got them home from the store. If I had more boxes and more time, I could have done some serious damage yesterday to the stockpile of stuff in my h...

I checked my blog stats this morning and I see that my post  the party what started out as jumpin' around , which was the name of my dream book, has been read by 450 people. I've read that post a few times since I stopped counting my own visits to the blog but still that's a lot of people. Too bad I've never figured how to make money off this little venture. Maybe it would pay my medical costs in my dotage. Put dream into the search box on the top of my blog and see what kind of bizarre stuff you get. We have active dream lives...probably more active than our real lives. As I have said before, Regis is the champ of strange and detailed dreams. If he had been writing his dreams down all these years, we could be writing a book. A very weird and disjointed book but I think there's a market for that, too. I think it's going to be a tough season politically in the social media. I have tried to avoid that stuff but sometimes I just can't help it and I know oth...

We had a grand weekend that included almost all of our favorite things: patio time, a fire in the chimnea, homemade ribs from Alton Brown's recipe, a drink with friends, a sleepover with Ella, and some laziness. You can't beat that with a to-do list! I've grown fonder of slothfulness lately and I think it's a good thing. Ella and I attended the Govenaires' Drum Corps Expo on Saturday night. I was a little worried about her attention span but it was not a huge investment of money or distance so I thought we could leave early if her interest waned. She loved it, though. The flags, dancing, colorful costumes, and good music kept her eyes wide. A couple of the corps used gongs. She looked at me in wonder and said, "Only emperors have gongs! I know that because I saw Kung Fu Panda!" I think more than a few people chuckled. One of Ella's favorite activities at our house is to dress up fancy and have Poppop take pictures. She brings a few dre...

I can't figure out what I meant by the subject line of that last post. I tried a couple times to edit it to make sense, but it just doesn't. It must have a 4 a.m. post. I have been working on my list of books to read and I continue to run across titles that I remember reading, but I don't remember details. Should I read them again, or just make note and move on? I have been attracted to historical fiction, a genre I haven't read much since I was a teenager. I just finished the two books by Hillary Mantel about Henry the VIII...probably what revived my interest. I also read the Will Thomas series that started with Some Danger Involved . Mystery: Another genre from my past. Here's the list of books I've liked in the past year... The Memory Palace by Mira Bartok The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach Let's Take the Long Way Home by Gail Caldwell Wild by Cheryl Strayed Life Itself by Roger Ebert The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides Gone Girl by Gi...

I've been awake since 4 a.m. I read my book for a while, Bring Up the Bodies, but frankly it's depressing. It's about Thomas Cromwell and Henry VIII and except for the beheadings and the burnings at the stake, it's about the same as today. Rich people want to keep their money and they don't care much about poor people. Fifteen hundred years and our values still suck. I can't get going today. I have been sitting here for hours reading old blog posts. I went way back to the beginning, October 2006...then skipped to 2008. It's very entertaining because not only was I funnier then but I was able to read about books I enjoyed but had forgotten. No apologies for my trip down memory lane. Regis took Gus to the opening of the dog park in St. Peter. For months, they have been making the almost daily trip to Mankato's dog park so this has been eagerly awaited. So eagerly awaited that sometimes Philly Dad came out. It's Julia Child's 100th birthday ...

We were out yesterday.Out of sorts. Out of patience. Out of energy. Out of whack. We both felt like we had one nerve left all day. And it seemed like there was always someone ready to jump on it. About 4:30, we headed down to vote in the primary election and there was a FOX news truck in the parking lot. There was a big voter turn-out so it was about the only other vehicle in the lot. Regis is not a big fan of FOX so I was a little nervous that he would have some choice words like must be a slow news day or something. We got through unscathed, however. We stopped by Patrick's and had a beer on our way home and sat in our usual booth under the tree. There was a fellow in the next booth with, seriously, the most irritating laugh ever. It was like a donkey only louder and he thought everything was funny. We stood it for about twenty minutes then we had to move. The server said, "What's up with that guy?" so we knew it wasn't only our out of whack moods. Lik...

I'm not sure I like this trend in the social media to publish pictures of things from my youth as if they were artifacts from Tut's tomb. As I get older, I have more trouble with my memory, even about recent things, like what I had for lunch, and I don't need the distant past and the current stuff mixed up like this. I don't feel like joining 500,000 people in saying, "I remember that!" Even if I do. Maybe nursing homes are using this data to identify their next demographic growth area. Click like on the Cartwrights and suddenly you're getting the AARP magazine, ads for Depends, and a brochure from the neighborhood assisted living facility. This one, I like. I loved comic books when I was a kid and when I was an English major, I always defended the reading of comic books. I don't know why they were considered substandard reading material. We would sit out under a tree with a big box of comics, take turns reading the favorites, trade...

Cherry tomato cut in half, basil leaf, fresh mozzarella, and a drizzle of balsamic vinegar. So good.  Thanks for the tip, Deb!

Yesterday, I took my bike for a long ride, over to Dodd Road, up by the hospital, around the campus of Gustavus, and downtown to the farmer's market. This is my bike with basket full of sweet corn, melon, peppers, and cherry tomatoes. Next stop was River Rock where Helena made me this beautiful latte and I had a fresh-from-the-oven pastry with blueberry mint jam. It was so good. I bought two more to take home. Seriously delicious and just the right size, about two inches square. Also bought a loaf of Cranberry Walnut Buckwheat Bread. If I had been stranded somewhere along the way home, I would have been well-fed for a long time. It was a beautiful day for a bike ride...long pants and light sweater against the cool breeze. If it hadn't been for the bastards going right through stop signs, it would have been a very pleasant morning. I don't hesitate to shout at people who do that. Do they think nobody sees them? Hey pal, I'm right here and I see...

We made our way to the county fair last night. It was demo derby night so the crowd was huge and there were lots of interesting things for the kids to see: horse mounted police, games of chance, food galore, animals, and the glorious midway.  They had the good sense to not be too interested in what they called the scary rides, but Alex and Elliot, to our surprise, decided they wanted to try the giant slide. I love these pictures because the kids look terrified but they said they had fun. Looks like Bob and Tiff had fun! Everybody had at least one junky thing to eat. I had the world's worst cheeseburger. Not quite so bad that I would resort to this signage, but it was bad. Let's see...I saw cotton candy, milk shakes, hot dogs, beer, lemonade, nachos, and corn dogs. I'd say we had a good sampling. About the time the demo derby started, we decided to head for home. We were sated, the night was getting cool, and we were tired of crowds. It wa...

We live about two blocks from the county fair grounds. During the five days the fair is in session, we have a bounty of noise. There's someone on a microphone, not sure what he says as it isn't that clear, but it's constant. Every night there's something...a lawn tractor pull, a big tractor pull, a demo derby, horse and buggy races, a talent show. The noise abates about 10 o'clock and it isn't overwhelming. We like leaving the bedroom window open so we can hear the happy sounds. Tonight, most of our kids are coming and we're going to make our annual pilgrimage to the fair. Since Regis had knee surgery only a month ago, we'll drive as far as we can get (Reggie's house right outside the gate) and hobble down to the beer garden. From there, we can make forays out to the corn dog stand or the funnel cake trailer. We could be there two hours at the most. The little kids might do some rides, we like to walk through the exhibit building to test our...

I made this blueberry and corn salad a month or so ago and I love it. It's from the blog Two Peas and Their Pod  so they get complete credit. The only thing I changed was to cut the cucumber into smaller chunks instead of slices. This salad holds up well in the refrigerator...nothing to wilt or get soggy. The flavors get better after a day or two. It calls for roasted corn but I just used frozen corn because it wasn't corn season yet! Blueberry Corn Salad Yield: Serves 6-8 Simple summer salad with blueberries, sweet corn, cucumbers, cilantro, jalapeño, red onion, and a honey lime dressing. 6 ears fresh sweet corn, husked 1 cup fresh blueberries 1 cucumber, sliced 1/4 cup finely chopped red onion 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro 1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and finely chopped 2 tablespoons lime juice (use fresh...it matters!) 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 tablespoon honey 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon black pepper 1. In a large pot, bring water to boiling. Ad...

I made an uncharacteristically spontaneous trip to Canby this week. Cousin Deb from Arizona was driving out to Canby from Minneapolis and wanted me to come along. I can always think of reasons why I can't do it, but the truth is that I am not good at surprises and need some time to think about it. As it turned out, Deb motored down here from Minneapolis to fetch me. We had a wonderful road trip through many small towns in southern MN, having lunch in Wabasso, and having fun with Mom. Deb and I covered a lot of conversational ground in the car...probably things we had talked about in the past but forgotten. Old boyfriends, old apartments, old friends, parties from the distant past...hey, there's a pattern here! Mom hates to have her picture taken so I apologize in advance for posting these. She thinks she looks old but I hope I look so good and have as much fun as she does when I'm 82. What the hell, right? Deb and Shirley Teresa and Shirley ...

You know all those things on my list yesterday? I got them all done except for the lawn mowing, plus a few things I hadn't planned to do but did. Of course, I put them on the list just so I could cross them off. Probably my best feat of the day was cleaning out the back porch. I've been looking at that crap for months and seemed (?) unable to do anything about it. Suddenly, it seemed like the thing to do. Our back porch AKA a three-season room is almost unusable. It's too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter. The only times it is pleasant is about three warm days in the spring and three cool days in the fall. So, being a room that is only passed through to go outside, it tends to collect stuff that doesn't fit anywhere else...vacuum cleaner, tubs full of Gus's tennis balls, the blow-up bed, coolers, boxes of books, extra dog food. Ugh. I threw a lot of stuff in the garbage, carried a few things to the basement (the other bane of my existence) but manag...

All day yesterday, I thought it was Sunday so to wake up today and realize I still had one more day to the weekend was a nice surprise. We had the window open all night,too, which was another pleasant surprise. It's been a hot summer so those nights have been rare. I have a lot of things on my list today. Mow the lawn Finish my grocery list and menu for the week Pay bills Clean out the refrigerator Laundry Finish Gus letter Send two birthday cards Tidy up the house for the week So far, I'm sitting with a cup of coffee, contemplating the list. I met Tiffany and Eric in Mankato yesterday about 11. They were taking Evelyn in to do the Wow Zone thing and they thought a three-year old might be a bit of a hindrance, so Peter and I scooped him up and went to do some other things. We stopped at Pet Expo to look at the pets (hairless rats?) and to buy Gus some chew toys. We went to Grizzlies for lunch and to Hobby Lobby to get a few things. We stopped at Target to buy...

I have had trouble sleeping for twenty years. I was always able to fall asleep easily but I would wake up about four hours later and be unable go back to sleep until about 5 at which point it's almost time to wake up. It's a bitch. It's gotten worse in the last year because I seem to have lost my champion napper status and also have some trouble getting to sleep at night. Champion Napper I have a new plan that includes more exercise, new age music instead of reading on the Kindle when I wake up in the middle of the night, and waking up early. Since I retired, I have been under the illusion that I should sleep until 7 o'clock. I don't think that's going to happen. I've been writing lots of plans lately. Must be a hangover from my special ed teacher days. IEPs, you know. So, here I am at 5 a.m. I slept well, managed to get back to sleep once or twice with the music and I feel pretty good. Ta da! I went to yoga yesterday at 5:30. I had forgott...

I have been seeing my doctor for my cranky symptoms. I have a plan for better health now that includes yoga, more exercise, healthy eating, being outside, and a new hobby or two. I did a google search for "grumpy" in images and this is the first picture that popped up. The funny thing is that it's a picture of me as a toddler. How did that happen? If you put grumpy in google, does my picture come up first? I used this machine at the gym this morning. It's not as daunting as it appears but you do feel like you might just move out the door and down the street. Who invents these things? As I was commiserating and trying to make it to ten minutes, I saw the South African fellow in the Olympics who runs on two prosthetic legs. He's running in the 400 meter...is it called a dash? It sort of took the wind out of my complainy sales! I went shopping for shoes yesterday. I admit I have been a bit of a boot whore the past few years but I have had trouble...