The Blog: Spellbound by our own imperfect lives...

We went to see Sweeney Todd this afternoon. I read a review in Rolling Stone that made it sound so good even though it's violent. I knew it had been a Broadway play so how bad could it be, right? Let me tell you how bad and violent it could be. I spent the last hour with my head completely under my coat and even at that, thought I would have to walk out. The reviews said the violence was "stylistic". My ass. It was graphic and gratuitous and way more than a person needs to see. There was not one redeeming thing about this movie....not Johnny Depp, not the music, not the sets, nothing. Call me unsophisticated but it was horrible.

Today, the third day after Christmas, I finally pulled myself together and stumbled out the door. I had my little canvas bag of errands...grocery store for eggs and milk, hardware store for a power strip, post office to mail a pair of mittens back to L.L. Bean and a letter to Peter, city finance office for a rebate on Christmas tree lights, school for a basket of CDs, Bob and Emily's house to drop off the things they left here on Christmas Eve. I had to come home and take a nap after all of that. I tell you, the holidays are murder on a guy. I have completed the journey from Mac to PC. All the files are transferred and the old computer has been scrubbed clean and registered to Lazlo Purdue. Tiffany might want it and if it gets ripped off in the big city, I don't want some ne'er-do-well getting my recipe for krumkakke. I threw away a few things that I wanted but that's life. I guess I'll learn to live without them. We watched the movie Hairspray last night. At the ...

I woke up at 3 to sit on the love seat and watch the snow. We had about five inches of fluffy snow that fell straight down so every branch and chair and bird feeder has a thick layer of snow icing. Kramer kept an eye on me from the front window. He had an attack of pancreatitis during the night. Regis thinks he knows it's Christmas and that he wants to enjoy Chex Mix and cookies and ham like we do. He doesn't know and he doesn't care but he will eat it if you give it to him. Yesterday he barfed Chex Mix in the living room. It was a hint. It looks like a Christmas card outside. There's a wind chime hanging to the left of the flag. Can you see the snow piles on each bell? The view down 4th Street. There's light fluffy snow on everything. No wind even yet and still the snow is falling. In the garden, every cone flower and milkweed has a snow hat. We rarely get this much snow without wind to whip it around. This is Peter with my niece's daughter, Evynne. She took qu...

We had a good time and here are the pictures to prove it. Jill, the chairs might look familiar. After spending a few months on the porch, they came into the living room for Christmas Eve. Tiffany, it was nice to have you and Eric here with us. Peter, we missed you! Reggie says a new flashlight photo will be coming today as he added four new flashlights to his collection. My favorite is the red headlamp that actually looks like tail lights on a car. Amber suggested putting the clear ones on the front of his head and the red ones on the back. Ella and I passed out presents and that worked fine except that after you opened one, she might take it back and give it to someone else. Click here to see the pictures in a larger size.

Busy night. See you tomorrow!

We made a harrowing trip to Canby yesterday on icy roads and an equally harrowing trip back today in zero visibility. I was terrified and even covered my face with my hands a couple times. Not when I was driving although I don't think it would have impaired me much. We had a wonderful time with Mom and Peter, and Pat and his family, so we were glad to be able to go but very relieved to be home. Regis got a very cool barbecue apron from Mom. You can see all the tools and even the S&P shakers are loaded up in the pockets. Reggie came over this afternoon when we got home and he was greatly amused so he modeled it. He said if you bent over to pick something up, you'd poke your eye out with the fork. He said it's not an apron for fat guys and sort of resembles a bullet-proof vest. We decided you could walk around the hood in this apron and nobody would mess with you. Regis was so intrigued with the last krumkakke we made that he talked about them at work. One of his co-worke...

Thursday, on his day off, young Regis assembled his flashlight collection and took a picture of it. I see a few similarities but the headlight is a nice touch. The guy that collected only mag lights seemed to have taken it to an art form but the Fritsch flashlights are functional. I don't know if the need to collect flashlights (or knives) is a man thing or a Fritsch thing. See the poll on the right. There wasn't a way to add demographic data to this poll but I bet I can guess gender!

I slept more last night so I only cried once today. There's some improvement for you. We were invited to a soiree tonight but we opted to not attend. I couldn't bear the thought of dressing up and making nice with people from work. We had hot beef sandwiches and a cold beer for dinner and now we're watching Tony Soprano. There's a house on the corner that I can see from where I sit on the couch. We drove by there the other night and Regis said it made his fillings squeal like he's bringing in Tokyo on a short wave radio. It's hideous. Then you come around the corner and see the tasteful lights on our railings. Yeah, that's a good one.

I was sitting at my computer checking blogs, saw mine in the list and thought, "I better check to see if there's a new post." Well, if there had been and I didn't know, that would be weird. I've had some bad insomnia the last few weeks. I fall asleep fine but wake up at 3 which makes for a long day especially if it happens several days in a row. I was at a party last night and all the women of my vintage had the same complaint. I slept until five this morning, so things look better.

One more letter from the hit parade. This one from 2004. December 12, 2004 Merry Christmas, A week ago, we were ready for forego our annual collaborative effort toward a Christmas letter. Since I’ve been taking two night classes, things have progressed from bad to worse around the homestead. I’m done tomorrow night, though, and all the papers and PowerPoint presentations and other academic debris are in a pile by the door, ready to be turned in. Now, I can start thinking about putting up a real tree since Regis didn’t think the string of lights I threw in the hibiscus tree was very artistic. (Regis notes: Yup, it looked a little like the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy train made a stop in old Petticoat Junction.) Once again, we’re going to let Garrison Keillor help us with the letter. All the stuff in red is his. I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. Regis is still working at Slumberland but he moved from the Clearance Center to the main stor...

I encouraged Regis to locate his flashlights and line them up for a blog photo. He took a picture, then remembered another flashlight, then took another picture. It got to be quite a project. I think the only one missing in this photo is the one with the multi-directional head that you can use underwater. The tall one in the back row in a mag light that you can grip near the light then use it to whack a bad guy who might be approaching. A very useful tool in the modern rural home. He realized as he perused his complete collection, that he is woefully short of flashlights. A guy can never have too many. Apparently. (Christmas present hint!) We had a wildlife bonanza in our front yard today. This is the male cardinal. The picture was taken through the front window which is clean as a whistle and there is no reason for the foggy condition of this print. Must be in the camera. The squirrel really likes the corn cob although he'll throw it to the ground and eat sunflower seeds, too. T...

What does a guy do at this hour? It's too early to turn on the kitchen lights and start baking cookies. Yesterday, Regis and I were both up by 5 so we left by 6:15 to do the last of our shopping in Mankato . It was a trick to find places that were open that early. Herbergers was but they had some door buster event and the place was full of blue hairs trying to get a good deal. After a while, it got crowded and I got crazy and we had to leave. That's how you buy stuff you don't really want...spend an hour in a store where they hand you a coupon every time you turn around. We went to C&S Supply on our way out of town. It's a farm store, I guess. They have a great selection of stuff: medical uniforms, thermal-lined hooded sweatshirts, boot scrapers, flannel pajama pants, cow feeders, beef jerky, cowboy shirts with pearly buttons, flashlights. It's one of our favorite places to shop. Speaking of flashlights. I made fun of Regis' flashlights a couple posts ago...

Yesterday I was talking to friends at work, I said my life is too complicated. They asked a few questions: Is it kids? Is it home? Is it work? I thought about it on my way home and it's this: My fur isn't all going in the right direction. Nothing is all wrong but everything is a little bit wrong. It's the Martha Stewart fantasy again. Work is very busy and stressful, the house is a mess, lots of things are waiting to be finished for Christmas, I can't sleep at night. Don't worry. It will all get better with time and my fur will smooth out. It has been very busy. We baked a couple times this week so I could get cookies in the mail to Peter. Last night we delivered cookies to the big boys and their families and I stayed up late (10:00) wrapping presents. the pile of shipping boxes and bags in the living room was getting on my nerves. The rest of my shopping I'm going to do in St. Peter so they'll wrap the stuff. One store even writes tags for you. Another one ...

We baked a few cookies tonight and made some fudge. It was a busy night and we ran out of time to do much outdoor decorating. What do you think?

The plan for tonight is eggnog and krumkake, if I can last that long. I woke up at 3:30 this morning with the door to the closet of anxieties banging in the wind. What makes that weird shit go through your head in the middle of the night? Brain moles? The burrowing kind, I mean. I had a busy and productive day for being a few brain cells short. I'll post an update later with a picture of he krumkake and the eggnog. After tonight, I'm done with fussy little cookies. It's on to fudge and giant molasses crinkles. The krumkake were amazingly easy to make with an electric iron that I borrowed from a friend. She told me not to use the old-fashioned kind on my glass-top stove. Hers has a teflon top and made two at a time. Slick. We had one major egg disaster and a few mishaps. Regis dropped egg shells into the first batter, broke an egg in the carton, and then dropped an egg on the floor on his way to clean that up. I said, "Back away from the eggs!" I fried and he roll...

I would say the manicotti was a success. The cannoli, not so much. I have discovered a great tool when you're cooking something you haven't ever eaten or seen before. Youtube. I put cannoli in the search tool and here comes this little video of some dude in a chef's coat making cannoli with his Aunt Grace. I should have watched it before making the cannoli because ours turned out like lumberjack cannoli...not crisp and delicate but doughy and thick like pancakes. Not so good. Regis says the filling is delicious...it's ricotta cheese and powdered sugar.What's not to like? Last week, I used Emeril's gumbo recipe and made a gumbo that had the consistency of wallpaper paste. Later, I looked for gumbo on Youtube and there was this hilarious guy from the bayou making gumbo in avacodo Tupperware bowls. His was more like soup that slow-curing cement. It didn't appeal to me but Regis liked it. A lot of times, the things I cook don't appeal to me much by the time ...

I can feel a cold coming. I've been around enough people with diseases lately, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Maybe I'll try to activate my endorphins today and fend it off. This has been a working weekend not a relaxing weekend. Yesterday, Regis and I went to the grocery store at 7 and bought baking supplies. It wasn't crowded at that hour...no giant zamboni floor waxers...just sock boys everywhere you turned. They were all very helpful and friendly. (Regis packed our groceries into our canvas bags. We love them. So much nicer than having a stock pile of plastic under the sink.) I came home to clean the house, make barley mushroom soup and hot beef sandwiches, and mix up a batch of Swedish butter cookies. At 5:00, we took Bob and Ella to the Christmas cantata at Emily's church. Today will be busy, too. I went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and got distracted by the paper, then a piece of lefse, then a nap. It's two hours later than when I started this p...

“A good newsletter is never nearly good enough but a lousy newsletter is a joy forever.” -Garrison Keillor Don’t write “Christmas letters about your grandkids and your prostate, with snapshots of yourselves at your condo overlooking the golf course at Plaid Pants Village.” -Garrison Keillor Merry 2002 Christmas Friends and Family! Basically, life is good at our house. Regis and I are at the same jobs, the children who are of an age where they can legally be employed, are… and anyone who is legally required to be in school, is. We’re going to take Garrison Keillor’s advice again and spare you the darker details. We will, however let him help us tell about the other stuff. He writes better than both of us do. “A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” -Garrison Keillor Tiffany is a senior this year. She’s making plans to go to college next fall… at least she’s planning to buy a car for college. A C...

The black cloud of my mood has lifted. I actually did some things at work today rather than staring out the window, head in hands, looking at the snow. I didn't feel sick exactly, just listless, but it lasted for three days. I had that mean streak, too, the one that made me threaten my neighbor with buckshot. It's good to feel human again but he did deserve it. Still does for that matter. Regis said he would warn him that if he blew dirt on our house again, I would kick his ass. I finished Any Bitter Thing last night which means I am bookless except for The Last Word: The New York Times Book of Obituaries and Farewells : A Celebration of Unusual Lives and Bridge of Sighs by Richard Russo. I like the obit book but I'm ready for a story. I like Richard Russo but this is a new hardcover book and very large and heavy. Since I almost always read in bed, that is a problem. If that book fell on your head, it could cause some serious brain damage. I might have to renew it until ...

I've got a pretty good grump going today. I came home at noon and my neighbor had borrowed our snow blower. He ran the damn thing through the dirt the entire length of my house with the auger going and...get this...blew fine black dirt against the house and through the screens of two windows. I know that black dirt on a driveway is a little bit white trash but you can't tell me he didn't hear the dirt pummeling the side of the house. The snow is black, the screens are black, and the sills are full of dirt. If I had a BB gun I'd fill his backside with buckshot. Merry Christmas, Paul.

Ella came over tonight while Emily went to choir practice. She loved the tree and spent lots of time taking ornaments off and putting them back on. She loved one so much it went home with her. She was so gentle with them and would bat at them with her fingers so they would sway on the branch. What's that? What's that? What's that? It was so sweet.

We've had bits of snow all day, Miles. Nice fluffy flakes that require just a gentle sweep off the car. Joanne said it was not fun driving to LeSueur after school though...hard to see and the snow was that greasy kind that makes it slippery. We didn't get any ice or sleet. I tried to stop at the grocery store after school but couldn't even get a parking place so I just drove on home. It must be senior citizen day or something. Maybe chickens are on sale. There isn't anything that would make me park a half block from the door and wait in a line like that. We have left-over soup in the refrigerator, a loaf of nice Italian bread, sharp cheddar cheese, and a nice box wine. Gourmet cooking, I'd say. I bought two strings of snowflakes lights at Lowe's a few weeks ago and strung them across the front window. Now I see that five of the damn flakes aren't lit. Not the whole string but about half of one of them. Grrrr . Christmas lights are crap and the landfills mus...

Regis and I are off to a fine Christmas season. Last night we went to the Bothy to see Pop Wagner and Dakota Dave Hull . It was freezing cold and icy on the way over, freezing cold in the Eagle's Club, and the bar person was rude and not interested in helping us thaw out at all. The music was great, though. Tonight we went over to Bob's extensive video library and checked out A Christmas Story . We're having a hot brandy and watching a goofy Christmas movie in the middle of a mess of boxes of holiday stuff and a few Halloween items. It's never like Martha Stewart makes you feel it should be. No eyelet pinafores or pine cone place cards here. No dog poop under the Christmas tree either, though, and for that we are grateful. We decided after our ethnic cooking extravaganza this past weekend, to try Italian dishes this coming weekend. We're planning manicotti and cannoli . Cannolis require a tube form to fry them and I wasn't sure you could find such a thing in...

This is our new Christmas tree. Doesn't it look happy here? This is another picture with the flash. Kramer can't wait until we go to work so he can either pee on the tree skirt or chew up a couple ornaments.

5 a.m. Nothing coming down yet but it's early. It could start about 7 with snow. Check back often for the latest! On days like this, Miles, we make soup and bake bread and sit around in our pajamas until noon looking out the window. Maybe put up the Christmas tree (it's December today so it's ok to do it) or read a book. Nothing too productive, though. Be a lazy baby today! 7:45 a.m. We just opened the curtains and snow is coming down in St. Peter! Tiny flakes but lots of 'em. The wind is between 8 and 10 mph. Temperature is 20 degrees. Regis says he'll take pictures throughout the day so keep checking back. I have the sponge rising for Italian country bread and Regis is soaking barley for Scotch broth. Yuck. Don't look the recipe up. It sounds gross. I'm going to make shrimp and andouille sausage gumbo. Doesn't that sound better? 11:31 a.m. Snow continues to fall steadily and and blow. I went to the coop (three trips for one pot of soup) and it was ...