The Blog: Spellbound by our own imperfect lives...

Robin and Linda Williams , of Prairie Home Companion fame, are playing at the Bothy this week. It's on Wednesday night but it starts at 7:30 with no front set so all us old folks can get home early. Tickets are only 20 bucks and you can't see music like this for less anywhere else around here. Come early and have a burger in the Eagle's Club. Now there's some atmosphere for you.

We had a barbecue at Tom and Betty's tonight to commemorate the tornado. Mostly Tom had a barbecue because the rest of us stayed inside by the fire where it was warm. After dinner we went down to the bar, lit a candle for Dustin, and toasted the tornado. We told some stories, then watched Twister which is a totally unrealistic tornado movie. Don't ever think you can get that close to an F-5 tornado and not get torn apart by the debris, much less out-run one on foot or in a truck. Those people would have been dead ten times by the end of that movie but that's Hollywood. We had a good time. Betty had some new song books from the 70s so we belted out a few songs by the Beatles one of which was Eleanor Rigby which they had someone sing at their wedding. It never really struck me as a wedding song being kind of a moody and dark song like Miss Havisham from Great Expectations. But what the hell. We laughed and then sang some Rod Stewart. Neither of us will be giving up our day jo...

I made it through the interview without embarrassing myself. I'm glad it's over. I brought home fifty pounds of stuff to read and learn before the next round but I'm not going to look at this weekend. Today is the 10th anniversary of the tornado. There's a good photo spread here, if you're interested. I've looked at so many pictures over the years, I'm sort of weary of them. And they bring back unpleasant memories. We're going to commemorate the occasion by opening Tom's bar. I'm bring a blue tarp, the movie Twister, and walnut bread with feta cheese spread. I was making walnut bread the day of the storm and Bert tried to get in the refrigerator every time I opened it. We went to hear a good bluegrass band last night: Carrie Hassler and Hard Rain . I remember noting some interesting things to write about while I sat there but today they don't seem very interesting after all. As we walked up the door, a smiley with red hair was eating a Moon P...

My interview is today. This is the last job I will apply for until I am retired and decide a job at McDonald's will get me out of the house. In the last two months, I've read a bazillion pages of stuff on IEP, LRE, AYP, ER, ATSR, IQ, and DVD. Of course, not much of it has stuck enough so that I could speak articulately about it if I had to. I wrote questions and answers and ended up with ten pages that I knew I would never be able to decipher in time to look like I knew what I was talking about. So now I'm down to three, highly distilled pages of talking points. No matter what they ask, those are my answers. We'll see how that goes. I'm of the opinion today, that if they don't like what I say, or if they ask obscure questions about statute numbers in federal law that I can't answer, it probably isn't the job for me. Why do I put myself through this?

1. I got my hair snipped a little bit. Patrick is always fun and appreciates that I call him an artiste. 2. I got a new Roy Blount, Jr. book at the library after I unloaded that other ponderous tome. It's called Long Time Leaving: Dispatches from Up South . The review says he tackles a lot of topics including Emmanuel Kant, the mind-boggling "Bushy Juggernaut" and the correct grammatical usage of y'all. Yes. 3. The cheeseburger was good at Grizzlies tonight. So was the pinot grigio even though it was $5.60 a glass. I'm not complaining. 4. I looked for a scarf to wear with my black suit at Penney's. I couldn't find any and asked the sales person if they had scarves. She said, "Do you mean fashion scarves?" I was afraid they had gone out of style five years ago and I didn't know. I found them by the prom dresses. Does that mean they're not scarves but stoles ? 5. When we got to the cash register to pay, another sales person asked, "Did...

1. I read on my favorite goat blog, that one of Brandy's twins died during the night of his birth. Today I read that his twin sister, Earlene, died. I could never be a farmer as I'd be crying all the time. 2. Regis has to go to the Mayo Clinic the end of April. I hate that he has to wait so long and I hate that they say it will be 3-5 days. 3. Peter got a speeding ticket on his way back to Canby yesterday. He's beside himself with worry that his insurance will go up and he won't be able to afford to drive. He's mad at himself and disappointed. 4. I made scalloped potatoes tonight and burned them all over the floor of the oven. It stunk up the house and made a gray haze in the living room. 5. I spent three nights reading a book that I finally abandoned: Love in a Time of Cholera . It was getting a little tedious although I liked the detailed descriptions. Last night I read some reviews online and decided it was time to pull the plug. 6. It's cold and windy today...

Here you go, folks. This is a new old fashion, resurrected from back in the day, and invented right here in Minnesota. I'm not even going to name the pants (email me if you want to know how to get yourself a pair), but you can see from the photos below that it's easy to dress these up or down. How versatile. And I see the dude in the mullet is drinking a Milwaukee's Best beer. How many examples of bad taste can you find in one picture?

Holiday weekends can be stressful. At least I got most of my work done in the first day so I could be incredibly lazy ever since. We had the little dinner party Friday night. That makes it sound like we sat around the dining table in frocks drinking high balls and eating leg of lamb but we didn't. We had hot beef sandwiches and cowboy beans and Tom's cheese potatoes with your choice of beer or wine. Not too fancy but it did involve some cleaning and some time in the kitchen. I would love to cook even more if someone else would clean my house. Yesterday I made a pork loin, intending to make Greek sandwiches with flat bread but I decided at some point in the afternoon, probably after a nap, that I had enough cooking so talked Regis and Peter into going to Mazatlan for dinner after a trip to TJ Maxx. I poked through the kitchen section looking for a big platter but only bought some stemless wine glasses that I don't like. Dinner was very good and it looked like a mariachi band...

We had a little party last night to celebrate spring, Easter, and Peter being home. Bob and Ella...what a sweet picture. Ella watches Scooby Doo on the computer. She doesn't understand why her Nana and Popop don't have a television. Ella loved this blue Easter egg that was in Peter's basket from his baby days. Peter and his mama. Ella and her mama. I'll write more tomorrow when I have some gumption.

We must have been right on the edge of the snow. Peter went out to shovel and he said it looked like about four inches. The plow went by so now the roads are wet, very wet, but clear. Kind of a typical late March snow. I'm doing some cooking today but not much cleaning. I really hate cleaning and have quite low standards for it, to be honest. I don't see dirt very well and I don't much care if I do. This is not a big surprise to anybody who knows me. I like spiders and their webs and even ants aren't a big cause for concern. I don't like flies. There's my true confessions. Some people live in houses with dirt floors, you know. Mom came through her surgery just fine. I talked to her this morning and she said it was very nice to walk without pain. They gave her meds for pain and she took one last night but didn't think she would need one today. It's like a miracle. She said the incision didn't even hurt. Must have been like Star Trek surgery. Regis fou...

It's the first full day of spring here in Minnesota. Here's what it looks like. The Easter bunny in the garden has a face full of snow. Across the street. You can see the ground is warm and the snow is melting fast from underneath but it's still messy. The branches of this little redbud tree will be covered in pink blossoms before too long. I saw my first robin today. This is just a prototype...the one I saw wouldn't hold still long enough for his picture to be taken.

The place where Regis works had a morale-booster called Cover Your Noodle Day today. It's a mystery, I know, but it means to wear a funny hat. I guess the mystery is how this could possibly raise morale. Since Regis works at home, he emailed this picture of himself in to the office where they got a huge charge out of it and printed it out and hung it up all over. He looks like a madman who came out of the woods, doesn't he? I said at least he could have shut the closet door behind him but men don't think of that kind of thing. We're waiting for a spring snow storm that might drop as much as 8 inches of snow on us. Regis and I watched the 1950 movie Harvey tonight (you know...rabbit...Easter) but Peter decided to brave the elements and head to Mankato. I was giving him the usual don't drive on bad roads and stay over night and park your car in a safe place words of wisdom when Regis reminded me that he is almost 21. Alright, alright, alright. After my very restless ...

The black cloud has dissipated a little, if clouds can do that. Mom was cleared for surgery, and as she says, they wouldn't let her have surgery if they thought she was going to croak. My mom has a great sense of humor. The job application process seems less daunting today than it did yesterday. Tiffany got a job. And there is 6 inches of snow forecast for tomorrow. I love spring snow storms! Yesterday there were three deer outside my office window eating oranges that I tossed out there for them. They were beautiful against the snow. It was my turn to pick a movie tonight. Even with Netflix, I get overwhelmed. I must have the world's worst taste in movies because I can't find anything that looks good. There are a lot of movies I'd like to see again for the first time, like Waking Ned Devine ... and a lot of movies I wish I had never seen, like American Beauty . I'm not in the mood for anything violent or tragic or anything starring Lindsey Lohan or Ben Affleck. The ...

I was a train wreck of emotion yesterday. I'm going rapidly up and down about the job I applied for and have come close to withdrawing my application. I think it's called emotional lability and you can check it out here on Wikipedia. I like the term emotional incontinence better. I think I can be ok until the interview process and I will be ok after because I like the job I have, but the moment someone comes to kindly tell me that I have not made the second round of interviews, that will be a bad one. Joanne thinks I should have a plan for dealing with it, like maybe I should just get the word by email, or a white flag hung on the door of the district office. Mom called to tell me she spent the day in the hospital having tests on her heart before she can have her knee fixed on Thursday and that unnerved me. She should get the report from the doctor today. Tiffany got a job, which should be good news and is good news. It was her 23rd birthday yesterday and we took her out to eat...

This is a costume that was sent from Ireland to Michigan where it was stolen. Be on the lookout if you attend St. Patrick's Day events. It's worth $3,000. We didn't even go the parade today. I came down with some kind of virus yesterday of which the main symptom seems to be feeling like you have spent too much time on the Tilt-A-Whirl. I stayed home from work today and about every two hours, I gravitated to the bedroom and slept for an hour. I see I mentioned this disease in yesterday's post. Apparently the virus affects your memory, too. We have the ulgiest of March weather again. A wintery mix, as Paul Douglas would say. We woke up to about an inch of snow, it dribbled snow and rain all day and now has all melted. We're due for 2-4 inches of snow tonight so babies should not put away their Patagonias yet, Miles. I managed to get off the couch long enough to make another loaf of Irish soda bread today so Regis could have it with the left-over corned beef and cabbag...

After spending most of the day in lethargy, I'm completely out of gumption. Tiffany and Eric came down a couple hours ago and we've spent some time visiting, they did some laundry, and we're going out to eat to celebrate Tiff's 23rd birthday. I feel a little bit like I spent too much time on the Tilt-A-Whirl this afternoon and I know it isn't Irish-related because I felt fine until about 3 o'clock. It's gloomy, damp, and cold outside. Perfect March weather and perfect for sleeping or reading on the couch with a blanket. Peter's coming home tomorrow for a few days. He just wants to eat and sleep, I think. Funny how kids plan their homecomings around food. I offered to take him out to lunch tomorrow but he said he's going to Massad's in Mankato. He likes the chicken shwarma sandwich. I've looked up the recipe but there's about 45 ingredients so I think I'll let the restaurant make it. I started thinking about my garden this afternoon, a...

We had a dinner for Betty and Tom and Kathy tonight. Harvey was home with an illness that will remain nameless. We had the usual: corned beef and cabbage cooked in Guinness, Irish soda bread, Guinness chocolate cake, and Irish coffee. A good time was had by all. After we stretched out in the living room to let the dinner settle, we watch The Quiet Man . Good movie for a St. Patty's celebration. Note those green pants that Regis has on. These are the ones that are green like the crayon. He and Betty look cool in their hats. Here's the recipe for Irish coffee . Note that Bill says absolutely no aerosol whipped cream. It's a mortal sin.

I spent the day in St. Paul in the company of a band of bureaucrats at the department of education. I don't want them to google themselves and blackball me from any future jobs or my well-earned retirement earnings so I'm being careful not to name them or their true place of employment. Oh my god. Those people, for the most part, are the most boring pompous-assed stiffs I have ever spent time with. One man was very interesting and somehow managed to make fiscal news almost, well barely, palatable. But the rest of them...one woman said it was the obligation of their organization to promulgate rules. Well, I guess. Regis and I went to do some errands when I got home and realized that in a half-mile radius from our house, we can go to the bank, the drug store, the bar, the food coop, and the liquor store. Not bad. We didn't go to the bar since we had a beef roast in the crock pot at home, but it's nice to know a guy could if he wanted to. Last night we went to Irish Stews ...

It's been a hell of a week and Regis and I are headed down to Patrick's, not for drinking beer as you cynics probably think, but for a Community Education class called Irish Stews and Stouts. So there. I'm sure it will be very educational. Oh shit, I just realized that's a lamb in the pot. That can't be right. I've been sleeping great with the aid of Ambien. I go to sleep at 10 and don't wake up for anything all night. The woman in the beauty shop last night told me about a friend of hers who awakened in the kitchen of a neighbor, sans clothing. That would not be good. The last few days have been very spring-like. Today was 54 degrees when I came home from school. Most of the snow is gone and the flowers are poking up through the dirt. I recited this poem to Regis last night: Spring has sprung The grass is riz I wonder where The flowers is He asked if I wrote it and I admitted that I had not. Nothing worse than plagiarism.

Ella spent the day caring for her Nana and Popop Saturday while her Daddy helped her Uncle move to a new apartment. She was quite entertaining: I showed her a picture from Thanksgiving, everybody in a bunch with big smiles. She said, "Oh look! Everybody's cheesin'!" Regis made bacon for breakfast and brought it out to us in the living room. She took one bite, looked at me seriously and said, "We need more bacon!" and turned to trot back to the kitchen. She was good as gold but she wears us out; even a good two-year-old is busy and curious and looking at everything. We had a fun day, though, and both of us got naps. Ahhhhh. The weekend went too fast. We spent the day Sunday doing things we haven't done in a while and that were overdue: I washed the kitchen floor, Regis gathered and organized all our CDs, I vacuumed and dusted. Not my favorite chores. We watched On the Beach last night. It's an old sci-fi movie with Gregory Peck and Ava Gardner. Regis...

It's the 7th of March and this morning when I went to my car, the snow squeaked. For God's sake. The snow squeaked and it's only two weeks away from the start of spring. We expect snow in March especially when tournaments start which they did last weekend. But squeaky snow is for January. I was glad to see this week end. I sat at my desk for a while this afternoon and tried to get my mind around it. Nothing in particular; just it. Life goes too fast. We're going to watch Ella tomorrow while the men move Regis and Amber from one apartment to another. We got the best end of that stick. I think after you turn 50, it's a rule that you don't have to move anyone. Not even yourself. My neighbor Mike says it's not good to repress cuss words; it's what causes cancer. That and probably a few other things. I don't mind cussing myself and my own mother says I talk like a sailor. There are worse things. On to the weekend... P.S. I just reread this post and notice...

It was a very longish day today. We had conferences to which nobody comes so we diddle around and have meetings and watch educational videos and try to think brave thoughts about curriculum and standards and such. About the 12th hour, none of it makes much sense. If we had cable tv, I'd be watching re-runs of Leave it to Beaver right about now. I got a new old book in the mail today. Shirley Jackson's Life among the Savages . I don't know if I ever read it or if Jane has told the story enough that I think I did. A baby is sitting in one of those 1950's style car seats that just hooked over the back of the front seat. It had a little steering wheel and she describes how he is scanning the road ahead for possible cookies. That's the part that makes me laugh because in safe driving for the elderly we teach the strategy of scanning. Get it? Scanning the road for possible cookies? We had dinner with Anders last night, our friend whose wife passed away two months ago of t...

That is really a crock of shit. What is with this weather? At dinner tonight, we were speculating that with the moist winter we've had, the mosquitoes ought to be about the size of horse flies. Lovely. Makes you wonder why we live here. I remembered today about the time (this must have been pre-blog) that I went to the bathroom at Whiskey River and there was an advertisement on the back of the bathroom door for a company that printed wedding stationery. I like things to be spelled right but I'm not a freak about it, but...this place prints stationery and they spelled it stationary. Like the damn bicycle. Oh, for god's sake. I went right home and called the stationery company and gave them a hard time about the ad copy that they apparently didn't bother to read, then I called the ad company that sells space on the backs of bathroom doors and gave them a hard time about not bothering to edit the copy. What is the world coming to? Like I said, I'm not a freak but I dra...

I read in the paper today that three tall sailing ships will be in Duluth the first weekend in August. This is the Pride of Baltimore II. I'm not a fan of traveling especially into crowds (I think this is the weekend of the Bayfront Blues Festival ) and this is a celebration of the 150 th anniversary of Minnesota's statehood so there are bound to be a bazillion people around but I would love to see those ships. Nope just checked...the blues fest is the next weekend. We finished up our safe driving for old poops class tonight. What a nice group of people. One lady brought cheese and crackers and venison sausage. I think that's a sign of a friendly group when someone brings food. I made a delicious and easy tomato soup tonight for dinner. It's called sherried soup but I left that out because I forgot to buy it. Didn't seem to matter. I used dried basil and parsley because where do you find that stuff fresh in March when it doesn't look like limp sun-baked weeds....

I know this might be boring to some of you, but what a good night's sleep. I went to sleep about 10:00 and woke up right before the alarm went off at 5:30. I didn't even have to use the music. Like James Brown says: I feel good. ( Can you hear that?) We have another night of safe driving for the elderly class tonight. We have a nice group of people who happily watch the little videos on how their vision might be declining as they age and how to back up safely in a parking lot. They're good sports. One lady called in sick because she has the chicken pox. You don't hear that very often in an AARP class. Better get ready for work...

Don't be too impressed because I blog so often because I do it at the expense of other things like cleaning. It's a way to feel sort of productive but really not have to accomplish much. Especially with the sleeping issue, it's about the best I can do. Regis and I made our early Sunday morning trip to HyVee. We like going at 7 because you don't have to contend with crowds. People picking up 10 dozen rolls for church can be a little annoying but not as annoying as those kiddie carts that look like firetrucks and leave a nasty mark when they clip you in the back of the heels. Who invented those things anyway? Early in the morning, we can mosey around, look at things without being rushed, and backtrack if we forget something. Tomorrow and Tuesday we teach the safe driving for old people class. I made chicken wings and potato salad this afternoon so we can have lunches and fast dinners for a couple days. I shouldn't have used russet potatoes. They crumble and get kind ...

The man of the house had a favorite pair of earbuds for his iPod. They used to look like this: They were made by Koss and they weren't cheap, as earbuds go. This morning when we got up, they looked like this: Something isn't right as you can see. The little rubber things are gone, baby, gone. Here is the culprit: How did he manage to pick those tiny things off without eating the entire earbud? That is some manual dexterity!