the whisk that found me

I think someone has been after me with the metaphysical whisk of life. Yesterday, I was busy all day but didn't seem to get much done but make a bigger mess. Today will be better. I have a long list of tasks for this weekend and the first job will be to write them down so I remember what they all are.

My sweet friend, Amber, gave me a bottle of Big Ass Cab for my birthday. Over the last few days, it has disappeared. What a nice red wine for a November evening. Cabernet, pumpkin candles, and my honey across the table from me. I am a lucky woman.

You can tell I have been brain scrambled as I didn't even post any Halloween photos. The party at Tom and Betty's was a blast, as parties at their home always are. Elliot and Alex are waiting to get trick or treating. Ella is probably playing with the puppies. Great ideas bringing puppies to a party with small children and adults who are imbibing. Ha! Jan is onto something. Could be like a Tupperware party only for finding homes for puppies.

I had lunch with my friend, Kris, last week at River Rock. As I turned to scan the deli case, I saw these amazing little darlings...local maple pots de creme. Perfect size and delicious. Good thing the glasses are small because there would have been some licking going on, let me tell you. Sweet little pleasures of life.

So, here is what I have spend a lot of time doing in the last week...organizing medical information. I am rarely sick and have had only two surgeries in my life so the prospect of this on Monday, and the paperwork, is daunting.

I've tried reading things but even the booklets they gave me or sent me are too overwhelming. I think I might take them with me so after surgery I'll be able to read about the specifics, although reading on morphine can be tricky.

Regis and I went to Mankato yesterday where I bought some things I will need and some things I won't need. Ah, retail therapy. I found a teal sweater at TJ Maxx that I could not resist. It's my new favorite color. 

I have been perseverating on some stupid details like my footwear for Monday. I told Regis that I am worrying about that kind of thing so I don't think about the rest. I checked the weather report for Monday...temps between 20 and 30. Brrr. But I don't want to wear boots because someone will have to tote them through the hallways of the hospital. But they are my ass kickin' boots and kind of important for my mental well-being. I am also worried about my hair. But...you can see where this is going.

My biggest problem the last week (ha!) has been that I can't remember who I told what and now that I'm writing this, I think I have even written this before dammit. Stop reading or tell me to stop talking if you have heard any or all of this before. Regis calls it the pall of idiocy.

Funny how when something occupies so much of your brain, you forget momentarily that other people have shit going on, too. Lots of it. Many of my friends are in pain or healing from their pain and that they take the time to think about me is gratifying. Have I always been so kind in the past? This is how we learn our lessons.

I've been awake since 3 am again. Not worrying, just stewing. It makes a guy look forward to sedation and anesthesia. Just a little something to take the edge off.