was I always such a whiny baby?


It's been a rough week, as I have complained to everyone who has asked and even a few who didn't ask. I tried not to be whiny but I think that only made it worse...building up the cranky chemicals and then the anxiety in my head until it was bound to cause something evil.

My force field must have been sending out messages because I talked to my cousin, my daughter, my son, and my mom yesterday. All were very comforting.

I'm up early to get ready to go for Paclitaxel #4. How much do I whine to Judy? She's pretty good at sorting out the real stuff from the garbage so I guess I'll just give it all to her. She and the doctor can decide.

I'm not taking anything with me to do because I don't have the gumption to do anything. I'll be like one of the people I saw last week...fetal position beneath a white blanket. I told Regis I wished they had a treadmill in the treatment room so I could take a slow amble with the IV pole at my side. He said not bloody likely and why don't I just ask for a wine bar while I'm at it.

I see a different doctor today which is I don't mind except that they all have different protocols for how and where you undress if they want to do an exam. My usual doc doesn't care about the curtain....next guy wigs out if I don't go behind it. How is a girl to know?

I'm taking a peanut butter sandwich because the food they have there tends to be cookies. I could live on peanut butter. I have a piece of peanut butter toast almost every night...like a baby with a bottle.

I read back through some old blog posts yesterday, searching for something I didn't find. Funny how every year I start complaining about winter right about this time. Must be my craving for light and warmth. I've reached the end of my winter rope.

Here's Gus. Better go and tend to him. More later.

Comments

tccomments2013 said…
deat teresa,

i hope your whine post gave you some measure of relief. it's good to vent; makes others, like me, not feel so alone when we rant, and whine,and just feel world-wide crappy.

and aiyiyi - the winter's lost light. this year we just happened upon finding that if we get out of the house just prior to sunset, drive to somewhere with a good coffee place, then sip our cafe americanos while we walk ourselves and sadie, we get home at our usual late dinner time and don't feel the daily blues of darkness-comes-too-early this time of year. sometimes we are just too pooped or it's too stormy - then we either opt for a ride in the car, or get into bed and pull the covers over our heads. i hate when that happens - waking up from a nap that starts when it's light and ends with the dark is so demoralizing. spring can not come too soon.

love, XO,

karen, TC
11:41 PM
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