no pics...just words

I had an infusion of Zometa the other day to stave off the effects of osteoporosis. I think if it had only been the O, I would have passed but I always have this lingering fear of cancer traveling to my bones and setting up a recon camp. That would be pretty shitty. So, even though my doctor doesn't say this will help that, it makes sense in my head. And yes, I got my MD on the internet.

The first 12 hours were fine, then I woke up at midnight feeling like I had been stuffed in a gunny sack and beaten with a rubber hose. Every inch of my body, inside and out, hurt like a bitch. There are no other words. When I moved my head it bonged like Big Ben. Nothing helped because I avoid NSAID drugs. My nurse, who said these nasty symptoms have been known to last a month, convinced me to try it. So, tear up my stomach...just make the headache go away.

I spent 36 hours in bed, whining, demanding, sleeping, and trying to roll over from time to time. I feel better so far this morning so I am hoping that the worst is past.

I found out last night that my friend, Mary, who had cervical cancer, then a brain aneurysm, has now been diagnosed with cancer in her stomach area. Sweet Jesus. It puts my 36 hours of misery into a different perspective.

I woke up at 4 and have been writing on blogs, reading blogs, and reworking a poem for my writing group. I also started doing some research on cabins or resorts for a family gathering next summer. Boy, they don't give those things away. The last one I priced was $1,500 for four days and they have a limit of 8 people. Guess we'll have a lottery to see who has to stay home.

I have a giant mess to clean up today. We bought groceries before my appointment the other day and we got them into the kitchen, but now there are piles of chocolate chip bags, evaporated milk, flour, and other assorted sundries everywhere. Regis would put them away but if that happens, I might not know where they are in the end.

I have had a terrible time finding a book I like to read lately. I read Anthony Doerr's All the Light We Cannot See this fall and it was one of my all-time favorite books. One of those books you want to start over as soon as you finish. I started another book by him and I love his writing but the pace is so absolutely glacial that I am not sure I can make it.

I wrote a long letter to my friend, Brenda, this week then a long letter to my niece, Rachel in Hawaii. Rachel sent me the sweetest hand-written note and I loved it so much I carried it around for weeks. I've decided instead of factory Christmas cards (address labels, printed letter, envelope stuffing) I will try to write a real card. I like to get cards with some writing in them...not just names.

I'm off to yoga, writing group, and a massage today. There might be a short nap in there somewhere since my sleep has been sporadic in the past few days...lots of it just not lots of it in a row.

Going to see my friends Betsy, Melissa, Vickie, Michele, Cheryl, and maybe Joanne and Richie today. That's a great day!

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