The Blog: Spellbound by our own imperfect lives...

I had such a good week. Every day I thought about writing here but every day I was busy with other things and I didn't. Every day I was up early and dressed and I had a list (brief and basic) of things to do. I got my seeds started, I did laundry, I mailed cards, I made pizza dough and naan bread. I thought I had learned to live with this. I thought I had learned to let grief and joy coexist in my life. Even if I woke up heartsick, I found wonder...the open window in April, birds singing, hostas coming up in the garden. I even took Gus to McDonald's for a cheeseburger. He loves the drive-thru and sits patiently while we wait. He always shares my fries, too. There was a line from hell, but we didn't have anywhere to be so we went with it. Today, I woke up early but I quickly ran out of energy and went back to bed. I slept for three more hours. I forgot to go to the Arts Center to meet someone with a key. I'm just not used to thinking in terms of time or deadli...

1. I can't keep track of what number day it is in the shutdown. I looked back to see what day it started and it was March 18th so you can do the math. That's what I always say when confronted with a math problem of which counting is one. 2. We had a funny Easter celebration. I made a bag of Easter eggs for each family and they either came over here to do a simple egg hung right along the sidewalk while we sat on the patio or they did their own thing in their own yard. It was fun. We maintained social distance. 3. We got Easter dinner from a local restaurant. I picked it up Saturday, all packaged in foil and plastic and we reheated it on Sunday. It was the second Easter dinner we've had out of takeout containers and we have been grateful for each one. It was cold and snowing on Sunday anyway so who cares. 4. Weird weather continues with rapid changes from sunny to cloudy to zero visibility with huge snowflakes or graupel. I think I will be able to live my COVID lif...

Personal best during the coronovirus. I was awake, showered, and dressed by 9:30. Go, me! I did some things before noon, then took a break for lunch, reading, and a nap. Regis thinks that's pretty funny, but I am taking this schedule very seriously. I made a macrame plant hanger. I know...a craft revived from the 60s but you know what they charge for those things? I made one in ten minutes, even with the cat's help. I sorted a few things, found a few lost items, did the dishes, and prepped for dinner. I have cooked more in the last two weeks, in an organized and purposeful way, than I have in a long time. We had steak on the grill last night and tonight, I made a hash with the leftover steak, potatoes, onions, and red peppers. It was delicious. Later in the evening, I took a drive around town. I had heard that there was a house demolished on Front Street and I wanted to see it. There's also a garage construction going on (very slowly) and I wanted to check their progres...

I reported yesterday that I had muffed my online grocery order. I got up early and went to HyVee during the hours set aside for the elderly and high risk. Well, if that isn't enough of a deterrent. I got out of the car with a mask and gloves. They had sanitizing supplies inside the store to wipe down the cart handles and there were employees everywhere wiping down baskets, door handles, and checkout stations. There were arrows on the floor marking each aisle as one way and I will say that most people observed those boundaries. Then were a few assholes. I got through it in one piece but I will say it was a most surreal experience that I don't want to repeat. I feel better today than I did yesterday when I was wallowing in despair. I miss my friends and my work at the Arts Center but I felt I was turning inward...a dark vortex. I offered my dollhouse to my grand-daughter, not knowing when she will be able to come here to play again. I'm going to have mini egg hunts for ea...

I haven't written for a while. Here are my thoughts in the midst of a pandemic. 1. I have trouble remembering what day/date it is. I have to check the Weather Channel app to validate. It adds to the lost feeling. 2. Mom is doing well. I came home a week ago and she was doing quite well then. My cousin and her husband spent a week with her and frankly, they were probably more useful than I was because they cook and clean and organize. None of that is in my wheelhouse. She meets with the medical oncologist tomorrow and she has a list of questions. I'm proud of her for taking charge of her treatment plan. 3. I look at my calendar most days but there isn't much there. I cross out the Arts Center hours and the coffee dates and the babysitting dates. I can't think about that too much. Tiffany came by today to pick up a couple of old games like Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders. It was good to visit from a distance and wave to Easton and Elliot. I can't think abo...