The Blog: Spellbound by our own imperfect lives...

2005 We’re dreaming of a White House Christmas! Don’t get the wrong idea. This year we decided to take a break from our warm and homey Garrison Keillor quotes of the last few years and get our quotes from the Bush White House. More cynicism, more sarcasm, more obfuscation; just what you’d expect. “There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.” Don Rumsfeld This seems like a good place to talk about our offspring. There are some known knowns: Bob works at Ameripride and Emily works at Aveda. Young Regis works at Ameripride. Amber (significant other) graduated from MSU in May and works at Target. Tiffany works at Burch Pharmacy in Minneapolis. Connor (significant other) works at Burch in the contract mail station. They’re known as “The Burch Couple” in their neighborhood. Peter broke his wri...

A light dusting of snow between 5 o'clock and 9 o'clock. Enough to make the sidewalks white...not enough for a snowman. Seems to have stopped for now. We'll keep you posted over the weekend. A baby needs to know.

We decided to do a Christmas letter again this year after the PowerPoint debacle of last year. If you didn't get one, it's probably lost in the mail or caught in one of the power sorters of the PO. They were not hardy discs and few of them survived the trip. So, a week ago, I write my first draft. I knew it didn't have the edge. It came too slow and was too sappy and predictable. There was no punch. It was like a Christmas letter from Plaid Pants Village. Hope for the best. Regis said we can't send out a Christmas letter like the kind we make fun of. You know those braggy and pretentious letters about the wonderful year and all the smart kids and well-mannered dogs. My Aunt Chris wrote the best Christmas letters. They were Erma-Bombeckesque (hey, good word) and kind of stream-of-consciousness if your consciousness had a little brandy floating through it. She would write things like this: I'm making six dozen peanut blossoms tonight...oh hear comes the the damn dog t...

The wind has been blowing full force for two days. It didn't keep me up last night but it has made things miserable today. I was at a meeting a local coffee shop today and it was so damn cold in there that I finally asked them to turn the heat up. The dude behind the counter said, "It's broken." I said, "The thermostat or the furnace?" By the time I left, I think my legs were frozen below the knee which doesn't do much for a guy's disposition. I can only imagine living on the prairie on those cabins with the wind and snow blowing in through every crack. No wonder those women took an axe to someone's head eventually. That's a joke so don't call the authorities. Windy Evening by Charles Simic This old world needs propping up When it gets this cold and windy. The cleverly painted sets, Oh, they're shaking badly! They're about to come down. There'll be nothing but infinite space then. The silence supreme. Almighty silence. Egyptia...

It's 4:02 a.m. I've been awake since 2:30 and I just read yesterday's post and noticed the apostrophe in its. I had to sign on and delete it because that kind of things bothers me at this hour. I don't know what woke me up...could have been the wind which is howling. Could have been the banging door of the closet of anxieties. Why does all that crap wander into your mind in the middle of the night? Soon it won't be worth trying to go back to sleep which means by about 10, I'll need a nap. They frown on that when you're at work. I don't know why sleep gets so unpredictable when you get older. I remember sleeping for 12 hours when I was younger and barely moving all night. Now, the slightest thing wakes me up and no matter what time I go to bed, I wake up at 5. Or 2:30. This would be easier if I didn't have to work, you realize.

Uff da. That's all I can say. We've had such a nice long weekend and gotten so much done and been so relaxed. We've both slept all night without waking up to prowl the house at 3 a.m. I can only give credit to not working. Now to figure out a way to fund that lifestyle. This morning I woke up with a yen to go to the new Lowe's store in Mankato. Don't ask me why. We bought a Christmas tree that's seven feet tall but narrow. I tried to find a picture of it to post but being a low-end and not pre-lit tree, it didn't qualify for the website. It seems pre-lit trees are all the rage, but I have bad history with strings of lights and I could see myself trying to untangle the lights from the branches next year. If you've seen our previous Christmas trees, this is an improvement. I don't think we've ever had one taller than four feet. The one we had the longest was a Charlie Brown tree. I think it's official name was "Alpine tree" but you ...

I learned how to add a slideshow from Picasa to my blog. I've decided to scrap my mac site and go to Picasa and Google so now I have to figure that out. Here's my first attempt at a Google page and a Picasa web album: Thanksgiving 2007 Picasa Web Album Same pictures everywhere...I just want to see how they all link up. Google seems slow but it could be because of my old mac. They have a downloader for mac but of course, my system is not compatible.

I've decided this is a pajama day. That means I don't get dressed until at least noon. Regis made tentative plans with young Regis to go to the new Lowe's in Mankato to buy flashlights at 5:00 this morning. He didn't set his alarm so I knew it was a weak desire but at 5:40, the phone rang. That was it for my sleeping. Of course, Mr. Flashlight is still in bed sawing logs. Regis loves flashlights. Last night when we started talking about the flashlight caper, I did a quick scan of two rooms and found five flashlights: A waterproof flashlight A magnet-driven flashlight invented in 1890 A blacklight flashlight An LED flashlight An 18-inch police flashlight You get the picture. Thanksgiving was a success and I'll post pictures later when I find the card reader. Reviews on the food were good except for the cream cheese appetizers which got 2 tablespoons of garlic salt by mistake. It's hard to pick that stuff out. The pumpkin truffles also did not fare well but they w...

Here's the recipe: 2 1/2 cups crushed vanilla wafers 1 cup ground almonds 3/4 cup sifted powdered sugar 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1 cup NESTLE® TOLL HOUSE® Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels, melted 1/2 cup LIBBY'S® 100% Pure Pumpkin 1/3 cup coffee flavored liqueur COMBINE crushed cookies, ground almonds, 1/2 cup powdered sugar and cinnamon in medium bowl. Blend in melted chocolate (Follow melting direction on NESTLE package,) pumpkin and coffee liqueur. Shape into 1-inch balls. Refrigerate. Dust with remaining powdered sugar just before serving. It's two days before Thanksgiving and making truffles is the only thing I've gotten done. I'd like holidays more if they weren't so much work. A cleanin...

This is one of my favorite holiday recipes. I think you could leave out the whiskey if you're a teetotaller and use apple or cranberry juice instead. I got the crust recipe from Deb who learned to make it in Paris. Look...no rolling! French Tart Crust 4 Tbls water 1 tbls oil 3/4 butter 1 tbls sugar Heat this in the microwave until boiling. Remove and quickly add flour (as much as needed) until the dough gathers in the middle away from the sides. Pat into a tart pan, prick with a fork and use the fork tines to dent the sides of the crust then bake at 425 for 10-15 minutes. Walnut Cranberry Whiskey Tart 3 eggs beaten slightly 2/3 cup sugar 3/4 cup light corn syrup 1/4 cup bourbon whiskey 1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts 3/4 cup coarsely chopped fresh cranberries 1/2 cup whipping cream whipped Heat oven to 350. In large bowl, combine eggs, sugar, corn syrup and whiskey; beat until well blended. Stir in walnuts and cranberries. Pour into crust. Bake at 350 for 35 to 45 minutes until edges ...

I realize now that I left four eggs out of the puff recipe. I should have used 8 and only used 4. No wonder mine didn't pouf up as much as we expected. Also goes to show that cooking is a lot more forgiving than most people realize. What the hell. The customer service agents of Navitor won't mind a bit and probably won't even notice. If you make them, count the damn eggs. I toyed with the idea of ordering a turkey dinner from the local grocery store. A woman who works there told me the flavor was good and in my estimation, the price was certainly right. Regis made a kind of squinchy face when I mentioned it. Guess he thinks my green bean casserole is superior to theirs. I've planted the seed so I'll just wait a few years and then do it. Maybe next year I'll make a tofurkey with Andouille sausage stuffing and roasted winter vegetables...then they'll be happy and relieved to see the Econofoods turkey. We've been watching the Sopranos on DVD. It's a goo...

Regis has to bring a dish for a potluck tomorrow. It's a nightmare trying to find a place to plug a crock pot in so we searched for a cold appetizer recipe that was different. Here's the result: rye party puffs. See below the recipe for comments. Rye Party Puffs Dough- Double this...you'll have plenty of filling! 1 cup water X 2 = 2 cups 1/2 cup butter X 2 = 1 cup 1/2 cup all-purpose flour X 2 = 1 cup 1/2 cup rye flour X 2 = 1 cup 2 teaspoons dried parsley flakes X 2 = 4 teaspoons 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder X 2 = 1 teaspoon 1/4 teaspoon salt X 2 = 1/2 teaspoon 4 eggs X 2 = 8 eggs Caraway seeds Corned Beef Filling 16 ounces cream cheese, softened 2 (2 1/2 ounce) packages thinly sliced cooked corned beef, chopped 1/2 cup mayonnaise 1/4 cup sour cream 2 tablespoons minced chives 2 tablespoons diced onion 1 teaspoon spicy brown mustard 1/8 teaspoon garlic powder 10 small stuffed olives, chopped Make the filling first. Put it in the refrigerator but make sure to take it out ...

1. People who stuff paper into bottles or cans. I think this goes back to my bar waitress days. At least I know I share this feeling with other women who have waited tables. I'm not even going to mention the gross habit of putting cigarettes out on plates. Someone did that at my house once and I had to throw the plate in the trash. 2. Corporations like Alltel who charge you 2.99 a month for Texas Hold 'Em on your cell phone when it isn't there and when you call customer service the woman with a very southern accent tells you the only way to get rid of it is to take the phone to the store so they can remove it. So you take it to the store and the customer service person says she can't do anything because Texas Hold 'Em isn't on your phone. 3. People who let their dogs crap on my flower beds. I don't mind when they crap on the grass. I like dogs and know they have to go somewhere but when there is a big wide grassy boulevard, why would you let your dog meander...

Only if you've spoken to me today do you know the cryptic meaning of this blog entry title. This is probably another reason why I'm fortunate to be a lowly coordinator...or a person working in peonage or debt bondage otherwise known as indentured servitude. No resentment about my career lot in life. LOL. Regis and I spent all day yesterday getting the home office ready for his new opportunity. He entered the Cone of Silence today so things are approaching a state of readiness. They made the other woman park in the back and enter through a different door which seems to be taking the whole idea a little far but what do I know. I'm either too jaded or too tired to write anything worth reading tonight so I'll stop. Or maybe I'm worried about Larry's weapons of mass destruction otherwise known as the WMJ. P.S. Check out This Goat's Life today. Belle's in Alcatraz.

Yesterday I took half a day off and drove Peter out to his new digs in Canby. He's living with his Grandma and studying wind technology starting in January. Until then, he's working at the hospital in the kitchen, delivering meals and washing dishes. It's all good changes for him so why was I so weepy on my way home? The Dwight Yoakum CD's? The gray November skies? The 5 am wake-up call? Missing my chicken already? He'll be fine, I know. We're done with gluten-free. Regis bought some beer today so we'll see if it makes a difference in how he feels. Going beer free didn't make that much difference. Not enough to make it worth it anyway. That gluten-free beer is so nasty I think it could cause health problems by itself. We bought lottery tickets, too. Maybe it's our lucky day. I started a new book called Turpentine . It's a hoot. The characters are great and the plot is compelling. Highly recommend. Here an excerpt from one review: The year is 187...

Regis and I went to the John Mellencamp concert last night in Mankato. What a hoot. We were getting a little cranky about 9:00 and were easily annoyed by the drunk people in our row going in and out for beer and bathroom breaks but when the music started, we were on our feet. We didn't dance on our chairs or do anything reckless like some of the younger concert-goers but we had a great time. It was an interesting mix of people...young and old...and a pretty much packed house. Rockin' in the USA. People can't seem to sit still when they go to something like this. I went to a conference yesterday and I bet 35 people got up and left during the keynote speaker...then they came back. One at a time. Not too rude or distracting. Last night, there was not a moment when the aisles weren't full of people coming and going. These people pay 55 dollars to drink 5 dollar beers and travel back and forth to the bathroom?

I've decided that for some things, gluten-free is inedible. It's like fat-free butter or sugar-free cookies. Any kind of dough, bread, or pasta product without gluten is just not worth eating. Here are the main ingredients for gluten-free pizza crust: tapioca flour, brown rice flour, bean flour, gluten-free dry yeast, xanthan gum, vinegar, unflavored gelatin powder . Ish is all I have to say about that. I made some bread for Regis a few weeks ago. The dough had the consistency of watered-down school paste. Somehow it managed to rise and even turned a little brown in the oven but I don't think you could describe it as bread. If I were him, I'd rather do without. I spent the day at an education conference. Man, sometimes a guy should have a BS shield for those things. The acronyms and platitudes are just flying. (the nice part of the day was that I spent part of with Jan, my old special ed friend from the days when I was a grad assistant...31 years ago.) If I had my lif...

Tomorrow Regis enters the cone of silence. View the video if you don't remember what the cone of silence is. He was told at work Friday that he has been awarded the agent-at-hom e designation. This means he'll be working in our home office 9 days out of 10. In order to prepare, he'll be placed in isolation at the real office for the next month...or the cone of silence. No shoe phone though.

I woke up at 4:30 this morning so I've been up for 12 hours. I don't know what this has to do with daylight's saving time or the lack of it, but I feel like I've been pulled through a knot-hole butt first. My mission to be lazy has been accomplished. You can't say I don't have ambition. I didn't intend to do anything today and I have been very successful in that regard. Regis did coerce me into a trip to Menard's for a turkey roaster that was on sale but I wouldn't comb my hair or change my clothes. I got up off the couch to go and returned directly to the couch when I walked in the door. I expect to be back to normal tomorrow. If anyone has experience with a turkey roaster, I'd appreciate some feedback. My problem with big meals is that I run out of oven space and I thought this could be a solution. Apparently, because of the condensation dripping from the lid, the roaster does not brown the turkey. That's not very appealing. I think I can c...

I feel like it's been months since I've had a day of doing nothing. This one could be it. Regis must have sensed my lethargy because he got the papers and brought them to me in bed, then he made coffee and breakfast. I'm going to do my best to avoid any kind of productivity today. We have the first season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and I might just recline on the couch all afternoon and watch it.

Here's a picture I didn't post last night because it was unseemly (not in keeping with accepted standards of what is right or proper in polite society) but tonight, after a glass of wine, it's funny. Harvey at the end of the evening, sans wig and make-up, scratching at his panty hose. What the hell. I went for a walk with Ella after work while her mom and dad cleaned up from a water heater spill. We went to the River Rock for apple juice, to the vet clinic to see Wally and Hocus Pocus, the shelter cats, and to Swedish Kontur for a molasses cookie where she delighted the ladies by signing thank you. Ah, it was a nice way to end the week. Brother Pat and Helen are coming to town tonight on their way to a cross country meet. We're going to meet them for a beer if we can stay awake that long. Regis got the "agent at home" job so we have something to celebrate. Peter comes back tomorrow and we have his bon voyage party tomorrow night. He's off to wind college n...

Ella was dressed like Minnie Mouse but thought the other costumes were scary. Here's the whole gang in our finery. Ella has taken a real shine to Peter lately. Tom "Rasta Man" Hynes Harvina Queen of the Desert Regis getting a kick out of the old people. Kathy made a great clown.