The Blog: Spellbound by our own imperfect lives...

So far today, no emergencies, no falls, no incidents. Regis had an ultrasound of his heart but there was no reaction from the technician which is a good sign. We hope. We're going to Tom and Betty's tonight to ring in the New Year. Not in St. Peter because we never stay awake until midnight, but maybe Yakutsk. I checked the google earth clock and I think it will be midnight there about 8 p.m. here. That's more like it. The picture shows Larry, Moe, and Curly getting the ball ready to drop. I don't know who the 4th guy is.

I should have noted in the post below that the picture is an actual image of the cranium of Regis. That's no google image, folks. Later this afternoon, I went to the drug store to pick up our prescriptions. When I came home, I pulled our garbage can up to the house and then went to get Bill's. As Bill was leaving for Dubai the other day, I offered to make sure their garbage was at the curb today so they didn't have Christmas garbage sitting there until June. This next part falls into the category of no good deed goes unpunished. Remember I fell down once already today. So as I'm approaching Bill's garbage can from the north, all of a sudden I am on my ass on the sidewalk again. I just lay there and cried because I couldn't believe I had fallen down again for god's sake. Regis came storming out of the house yelling at me to get in the house what the hell was I thinking being out on the ice again he only had TIA his balance is fine and he'll take care of B...

I head out to the car to go and meet Jill for lunch. I fall on the ice. I lay there for several minutes, stunned and amazed. My butt and my right wrist hurt. I limp back into the house to get my wrist brace, leaving my purse and Jill's present lying on the driveway. I get back to the VW and it won't start. Things could always be worse. On a more positive note, Regis asked if any of these tests could be run before the new year starts. That's tomorrow. People went out of their way to get him into the clinic for tests this afternoon and tomorrow. That's wonderful.

Regis had a scary spell last night that resulted in a trip to the ER by ambulance. After lots of tests and such, they sent us home with a disk full of CT scans of his head and stern instructions to see the doctor this morning. It appears to have been a transient ischemic attack which is frightening but certainly not the worst result we could have had. After about an hour and the urgency had faded somewhat, he started making bad jokes so I knew things were looking up. He gave me a hard time about my outfit: a gray hooded sweatshirt, hot pink pajama pants with horizontal stripes, and tennis shoes with no socks. It was hideous. Remember the old rule about not wearing holey underwear in case you have to go the hospital? The new rule is: Be careful when and where you wear pajama pants. You may end up in public. He's at the office of his PCP now so I'll post some news later. We're sure, since it's almost the start of a new year, this will mean many very expensive tests so we...

There's a slide show at the bottom with a few more pictures of our trip to Canby and another holiday gathering at Steve and Brenda's house this afternoon. We've had such a nice Christmas this year. We went to one of the grocery stores in Mankato later this afternoon to buy groceries. I spotted the worst mullet haircut in the world. Not only a mullet but a godawful ugly, long and greasy one. Regis didn't see it and we agreed that from now on when I want him to look at something in a subtle way, I'll say, "When was the last time we watched MTV?" I did a google search for mullet, intending to post a picture of one, but honestly, it hurts your eyes. Try it. So, we're getting in the car in the parking lot of the unnamed grocery store which I loathe but which has German roasted coffee that Regis loves when this goober in the next car is loading his truck with his groceries, he slams the lid, and we see that he has a RAW WEINER hanging out of his mouth. My Go...

Good intentions don't count for too much. I did about half the things on that list I wrote Friday. Where does the time go? We decided to go to Canby Friday morning when the roads were clear, there was no bad weather predicted, and Mom wasn't busy. We had a good time going out for pizza, visiting Betty and Gary on their 50th wedding anniversary, and staying up late to visit. Regis got mom's computer put together and set up in the bedroom. We'll post the pictures of George later, Mom. I put my menu and grocery list together for the coming week. We're going to the HyVee later this morning, before another Christmas gathering. I have several Christmas injuries: grease burns on the backs of both hands, a knotty muscle injury on the palm of my right hand, and a muscle spasm in my back. What the hell. Is this from getting old or just from being weak? Weak minded, probably.

I took a day off yesterday and now I'm ready to go. Here's the plan: We're going to Canby today when Regis is done with work at 1:00 to see Mom. We'll head back tomorrow so we can be back in SP before dark. Tiffany is coming on Sunday if they can get their car started. Steve invited us to a Christmas party on Sunday afternoon. I'm making the Mocha Cream Torte that everyone likes so much. Monday, Ella and I are spending the day together while her mama works. I bought two swim suits online last night and I'm going to start swimming before school as soon as they come. My joints are killing me in the cold weather and swimming should be better for them than walking. This will no doubt be its own post sometime. Buying a swim suit is a strange domain for me and donning one for public wear is going to be traumatic. My back is better this morning but I'm going to get a massage this weekend. I took care of the medical record requests for MC. I'm going to fill my...

Poor Santa. He's tired, too. I woke up late (7:00) and did the dishes. I made a rudimentary attempt at cleaning up the Christmas litter but didn't get too far. I made a Christmas breakfast of fried klub, ham, and eggs. Peter said I should have chopped the ham up in the klub instead of serving it on the side. Hmmm. Wonder where he learned about klub cooking. I decided that cleaning up from the fire would have to wait until tomorrow as I have a pulled muscle in my back and a nap was more important. Regis and I were mostly comatose for two hours and now we're up staring out the window. Regis bought me four place settings of Fiestaware for Christmas in these four gorgeous colors: scarlet, tangerine, peacock, and evergreen. The little round cup in the front of the picture is peacock. The tall vase is tangerine and the big round one with the handle is scarlet. The cup on the far right is evergreen. They're really pretty together. I washed them this morning and can't wait ...

We had a delicious dinner, plenty of sweets, and a lot of laughs. Holidays at our house are not quiet and usually not uneventful as you will read later. Ella thought I should be Santa and pass out gifts so I'm wearing the Grinch hat that decorates the top of our tree. Ella learned how to take pictures on her mom's digital camera. She wanted her Popop to take a picture of her taking a picture. It must be a family trait...my brothers like to do that at family gatherings, although they like it to be spontaneous. Still fun. This could be a commercial for a digital camera...so easy a three-year-old can do it! She takes pretty good pictures! Here are all the kids who were here: Reg and Amber, Emily and Bob and Ella, and Peter. Tiffany and Eric were in Pine Island with his parents and Evelyn. We missed them. Ooooh. Here is the after-math. I had too many candles on the table, Emily was stuffing tissue back into a bag, and suddenly we had a problem, Houston. We were thankful we had a fi...

Uh boy. We were gone all day yesterday and I'm kind of out of gas today. I did a few things this morning...can't even remember what they were...then went to do some errands. I took coffee and a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream (or some knock-off) up to Kathy's house and visited for a while. Betty showed up. We gabbed and laughed and gabbed some more. Regis called and asked if I didn't have things to get done. Yup, but not doing them. Ella came for a couple hours. We played with tea cups and beans, read a book, played the piano, and visited. I asked if she was going to help when her brother comes. Hmmm, she said thoughtfully. Maybe not. The biggest present under the tree is for her and she can hardly stand it and can barely wait. We took a bell off the Christmas tree and read The Polar Express. We went to Patrick's for dinner, dropped a present off at Tom and Betty's, and now we're home. My hope is that if I have two hours to clean and cook tomorrow, I will...

It's hard to keep it lit in the wind, but it's beautiful as you can see.

The ice candle is going to be gorgeous! We're making the second one now. After dark, we'll light it up and I'll have Regis take a picture. Great weekend. I watched the 1930 something version of A Christmas Carol yesterday then we watched Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas and had a Manhattan. That makes a perfect day right there. Peter's trying to give me gray hair. He went Christmas shopping yesterday late afternoon and today he drove up to a Vikings game. I told him not to call me if he goes in the ditch. Call 911. I was going to make meatloaf today but Jane called and mentioned chili so we have a big pot of that burbling on the stove. We're going to the Mayo Clinic tomorrow and of course, I'm preparing like I'm going to Siberia: extra boots, blankets, mittens, hats, scarves, and buttered lefse. I have a feeling if a guy was going to spend an hour in a cold car, buttered lefse would be a great comfort. The bird feeder is crowded today. It ho...

I've been working on the Christmas Eve menu for a while, deciding to go with the old standards this year. One year I made roasted winter vegetables instead of mashed potatoes and it was not a big hit, let me tell you. I wish I had a picture of the faces at the table as they gazed on rutabagas and turnips roasted with herbs in olive oil. Mine is not a family that appreciates new cuisine in their holiday meals. We're trying to make an ice candle that looks like this. I've tried it before but it's easier when water freezes in about five minutes outside as it is doing this year. No need for the freezer. We used a bucket which may or may not work because of the sloped sides. Our next try is a five-gallon pail. I hear one of my neighbors down the street makes them and delivers them to people on the sly. It might be easier to just drive around town and borrow a couple. Regis is expressing interest in pancakes. It's the cold weather...

From the Tribune: A storm that moved into Minnesota this morning is bringing lots of snow and lots of wind -- a recipe for blizzard conditions that will make it dangerous to drive in the central part of the state. The Minnesota Department of Transportation in Willmar is now asking residents in the southwestern part of the state to stay off the roads. No problem. We did our shopping for groceries early this morning. Regis woke me up as soon as it started to snow about 6 and we hit the road. I'd been up late reading The Story of Edgar Sawtelle (highly recommend) so I was cranky. Here I am explaining to Ella why her mama got a birthday present yesterday and she has to wait a week. Sad girl. Ella will be 3 on January 1st. We read some books, though, and that made up for the lack of presents. Her favorite thing at our house is to take a pile of books into the bedroom and snuggle on the bed while we read. Her current favorite book is Knick Knack Paddywhack ....a great pop-up book, in f...

We were at a party of school folks last night and Regis said the collective consciousness there anticipating snow worthy of a late start or cancellation, was like a vortex. I peeked out the window this morning and didn't see much snow yet and the radar looks like it might be moving on. He thinks we're being lazy when we wish for snow days; I say it's just one of the things we at work for fun. Everyone in education has been doing this since they were five years old: wishing for a snow day. You don't give that up when you become an adult just because you've grown a work ethic. In a conversation at the party, I was visiting with a couple friends who, I realized, have well-developed BS detectors. See the geiger counter at the top of the page. In the presence of someone who, let's say, blows smoke, both of their needles go boing boing boing. It's good to see that in your colleagues. Sometimes I'm afraid we're in danger of being smothered by intellectual f...

Regis and I have been watching different adaptations of A Christmas Carol . Sunday afternoon, we watched the Albert Finney version and tonight, the 1951 version with Alastair Sim. It's a little bleak for my taste but it's very dramatic and Regis says that just makes the redemption at the end better. I bet I'll cry. We went downtown tonight so Regis could get slicked up at Nate's Barbershop. I went into a few of the stores that were still open, then waited and watched cars go through red lights on Minnesota Avenue. Scary. These were not folks who realized the light was changing as they were half-way through the intersection; these were folks who charged right on through when the light was very red. Pity the pedestrians. We had about five inches of fluffy snow today. It's beautiful but messy, inconvenient, and quite cold. The damn car I drive is all messed up: the check engine light is on, the oil light blinks like crazy, and the back hatch won't close unless the ...

This is a picture of some poor soul in some snowy town in Minnesota. It's wicked cold and windy and not fit to be outside. I woke up at 4 o'clock and obsessively watched the websites for school closings, not so much to see mine, but to discover a pattern and to read the names of the towns and try to guess where they were. We have a new system in our district so I found the delay announcement online, I got a recorded call from a service, and I got a call from a real human. The calls came kind of late so I was up and dressed and ready to go but it's nice to sit in the living room and watch the lights with another cup of coffee. The plows are going by so I suppose the streets in town are open. Hard to tell what it's like in the country. Stay warm...

Regis and I were at the grocery store this morning and we saw a new product in the dairy department. Squirt pancake mix. It's batter in a pressurized can. This seems to be one step down on the evolutionary ladder from frozen pancakes and almost as disgusting as squirt cheese. Really people, are we so lazy that we have to shoot pancakes from a can onto a griddle, are we? Do we think this is "making pancakes"? I'd like to meet the marketing team on this one.

The temperature was 38 degrees this morning when we were coming home from the grocery store. By noon it was ten degrees and now the wind has picked up so the snow is coming sideways. The poor little birds can hardly hang onto the feeder. I tried to write a Christmas letter today but I just can't find it in me. How much do people want to know in a Christmas letter anyway? We don't travel, surgical details are not welcome in a holiday greeting, our kids haven't won any awards, and we haven't bought anything interesting (exotic pets or fancy cars, for example). People don't want to read two pages of smart ass stuff, which, if you are a reader here, you know is my inclination, so maybe I'll let it go this year. I made two pots of soup today; a big pot of chili and Portuguese stone soup, named for the private parts of a bull that the Portuguese used to put into it. I just use kidney beans. If I were baking this year, it would have been a good day to do that. But I...

I woke up early today and started cleaning and sorting and getting rid of junk. I have a huge pile of boxes by the door for the thrift store, a bag of clothes to take to a friend, and the house, all four rooms, are clean. I even took down the wall of dubious achievements in the bathroom: the diploma from Sleep University, the twenty-five year plaque from the district, and the volunteer award for typing, and cleaned behind it. Not usually one to notice cleaning details, cobwebs for instance, I did a pretty good job today. I was done by 2, I took a shower, and sat down to watch the 1973 version of Scrooge with Albert Finney. I took a nap in the middle but I loved it. It's a musical and some of the lines are a damn hoot. At the end, Alec Guiness who plays Jacob Marley, says that they had to put on more devils to make the chain for Ebenezer. I loved it and cried at the end. The other day when I pulled the shower curtain aside to get in, a big daddy-long-legs was in the tub. I scooped h...

I went to the clinic today to have my internet diagnosis confirmed. My doctor thought I was right, but probably not about the Morton's neuroma. She thinks I have irritated nerves and with time, I will be fine. She also didn't recommend the 500 dollar orthotic devices which is a relief since I'm too cheap to buy those anyway. Of course, I've probably spent 50 dollars on different 5 dollar devices that don't work. I'm not really much further with the Christmas preparations. I tried to give some of the stuff away to Young Regis and Amber last night and they did take a few things off my hands but not nearly enough. Funny that my idea of preparation consists of getting rid of my decorations. I've bought two presents, I'm not planning any baking, and I haven't thought about cards. Ho ho ho. I've been pitching things in the recycler at work, too. A guy can get easily overwhelmed by stuff and paper. I realized that I had made binders for things and then ...

I've been crying about the Christmas ornaments and because Regis said "he's known people who took hours to decorate a tree" and then was surprised that I took offense. He's sort of ducking in the corner behind the chair now so I think I intimidated him sufficiently. I'm kidding about that last part. My naked tree has been standing in the living room for three days. Finally, today, I put the lights and decorations on it. The weeping comes from: things my kids gave me when they were little and now they're grown up, an ornament from Edna who's been gone for years already, a silver skate from Jane with a note about the nights we ice skated together and we never did...it's just part of our lore, an ornament for Jesse that Pat and Helen made in 1993, a Kosta Boda goat from Deb that's beautiful with a light behind it and makes me think of the times we spent New Year's Eve together in our feather boas, things I got from friends as far back as 1978 ...

This is my second post of the night. Scroll down. And you thought I was going to a once-a-week post, Tom. I diagnosed a case of shingles on the internet once. Today I diagnosed my recent foot problem as Morton's neuroma. That's it. I thought my feet were cold all the time but it turns out, on closer inspection, that they burn and tingle because my metatarsals are squishing my nerve. I'll probably go to the doctor to have this confirmed, but I've made it easier for them and should probably get a discount. I even know which non-invasive treatments we should try first: ice, anti-inflammatories, and rest. It also turns out that the things I've been doing, massage and toe-curling, are helpful. The warning for this movie said it contained violence and scary images. I guess so. So far, there's been shooting, a nuclear blast, rodents, giant bugs, and a lot of mummified folks. I've had to shut my eyes.

I came home from work today and found a package from my Cousin Deb. It contained a pair of exercise pants and two slinky little tops. She calls them camis but this is an article of clothing that is not in the closet or the vocabulary of a big person so they were new to me. To my amazement and astonishment, they fit. Not a fit that I would like to seen in public in, but a tight and sort of lumpy fit. I went right down to the treadmill and walked at a rapid pace for twenty minutes while listening to the Dropkick Murphys , a punk rock band from Boston. If you know me at all, you can pick out the out of character things with no trouble. Miles, we're in the midst of inclement weather, the first of the season. It was the hot topic everywhere I went today: when the bad weather was coming, what it would consist of, how bad the roads would be, if school would be cancelled or late, and so on. Regis said he thinks people just like to go to bars during storms and that's why they anticipa...

I dragged my Christmas boxes up the stairs from the basement this morning. I like to dig through them and look at stuff but I don't like to unpack it and deal with it so I didn't get too far. I did notice that I have a huge supply of some things, table cloths for example. I have seven Christmas table cloths which is more than a normal person needs. I didn't buy all of them; a few of them belonged to Edna, but it's still a lot. I have seven unopened packages of Christmas cocktail napkins. I have a tub full of gift bags and another tub full of Christmas ziploc bags and plastic wrap. What the hell. What was I thinking? We went to the food coop this afternoon. They always have a lot of samples around and one of the sample tables contained little pieces of bread and pickled herring. Regis saw me eying it and scooted off in the other direction. He says he can't stand the smell. A few years ago, I was at the table sampling the herring with an old man who was hiding from h...

I was avoiding the blog this week. It might be because I am wallowing in the doldrums of winter (can a guy wallow in the doldrums?) or because I didn't like that busy wallpaper thing I had going on before. I was also still pouty about my widgets. Ah well, time to move on. We had a bad cell phone experience today. Regis bought a phone online from some person in Alaska, the same town of which spawned the former candidate for VP who was recently in a gauche turkey slaughtering video. You know the one I mean. I thought that didn't bode well for the phone, but we marched merrily off to the phone store after work to activate it. When the young sprite who was helping us (after a 50 minute way over-stimulating wait) said that we would have to change our plan because this was a smart phone and there would be a data charge, we both looked at her dumbly. Well, I was really dumb...Regis was just surprised. This would have been a major increase in cell phone dollars so it was serendipitous ...