The Blog: Spellbound by our own imperfect lives...

Happy New Year to all! Yes, Jill, I can post my weekly meal plan! Sometimes all you need is an idea. I like having the links to the recipes, too, as I have been known to forget where I put one. I like your ideas for the tortilla soup. I made a big pot of chili today. I used dried beans and even though they soaked overnight, they aren't softening up. Do beans get old? Regis will do some internet research to solve the mystery. I'd hate to have to throw out all that chili. It's edible but not enjoyable at this point. Research reveals much controversy about beans. Some theorize that beans get old, some that a cooking method is preferable over another, and some that your altitude makes a difference. So, who knows. We'll keep cooking that chili and see what happens. One of our friends gave us a bag of Chex mix for Christmas. We each had a tiny bowl of it last night, then I gave it to Peter and told him to hide it in the basement. It's like crack (or probably what ...

I wrote this some time ago and forgot about it. I found it stashed in the do not delete file. It must have been a mental exercise (Oh, yes! Prompted by my internet friend, Karen!) What I believe… I believe in the basic goodness of most people. I believe I was born and I will die. How I spend the days in between is what matters. I believe in doing something fun every day. That can mean finding fun in the ordinary things I do. I believe in not doing things I don’t want to do. There are some unpleasant things in life that are necessary to do. I don’t mean those. But I try to avoid things that are done only out of a sense of obligation. I believe in spending my precious time with people I like and who like me back. I believe in eating the best food I can afford, the best wine I can afford, and I believe in wearing clothes that sparkle. I believe I was the best mother I knew how to be to my children but I believe I will always feel...

Some things don't sound funny until you write them down, then you think what the hell. That can't be what the expression is, but it is. Come to find out... Apparently, insurance companies do pay for damage from ice dams. We bought that damn roof rake and spent two hours in roof rake hell for nothing. The next thing will be that all the snow will melt into our basement windows and cause a flood. Yes, we love the four seasons of Minnesota. We ate the last of the Christmas ham this morning for breakfast. I've had a craving for spicy, Mexican food so we've had quesadillas twice this week and we're making fajitas for dinner tonight. My intent in January is to eat out less and cook at home more. I'm thinking about the new year. I keep going to a website for the Med City Marathon in Rochester. I'm not really interested in doing it or anything related to it like the half marathon. That training schedule felt oppressive and with my well-developed right brain th...

Raking snow off the roof is way too passive sounding. Raking snow makes you think of those leisurely swipes you take at piles of dry, light maple leaves in the fall. Raking snow off your roof is nothing like that. Raking snow is more like standing in snow up to your hinder, holding a twenty-foot pole as you attempt to drag 20 inches of crusty, heavy snow off a surface 14 feet in the air. There is nothing "rake-like" about this. This is heavy artillery. This is a job for tough guys. Some ad Regis read said to let gravity do the work. Maybe so if you have 4 inches of fluffy stuff. Gravity wanted nothing to do with this snow. Not only that, but our damn snow blower is down. So, whatever came off the roof in the massive avalanches had to be shoveled off the sidewalk. It's a miracle we both didn't end up face down in a drift. On a more positive note, now that we know we can do it, we may have found new careers. I hear guys are getting 200 bucks an hour to clear snow...

My mention of a roof rake brought 'em out of the woodwork. We've had so many requests to borrow that dang thing we might start charging rent. (Holding up the joke sign.) I am going to make people sign a contract that says they will not climb onto the roof or climb a ladder while using the roof rake. I don't want to be responsible for the results of that! Two funny weather-related things this morning. One from The Onion . And one from the New York Times . (Added note: This article is hilarious. Apparently, sports writers who don't take this all too seriously (and who poke fun of the athletes...) write some very funny crap about sports. I might start reading more just because it's funny. See the reference in this article to LeBron James.) From an  article  in the New York Times: "It is a rare moment when a snowstorm-prompted game postponement turns into a referendum on the nation’s level of “wussiness,” but such is the occasion when someone slips a radio mi...

We started the day with breakfast at Whiskey River for Joanne's birthday. Regis took out picture and we watched the wild turkeys come out of the woods on a little path. Someone said it's like the have a highway up to the feeders. You can't see them in the picture because I was undercover, but I had on the shiniest pair of purple leggings you have ever seen. I wore a long coat in and didn't march around for fear of giving some old gentleman a heart attack. The theme of this Christmas season has been: More sparkle in 2011. I thought it was an appropriate outfit to celebrate Joanne's birthday. Regis and I headed to Mankato at 11:00. I had a date with the consignment shop lady to look at some of my outgrown clothes. I've given many away to the thrift store, some very favorite pieces away to friends, but this is what was left. I was glad to get it out of my house. What doesn't sell by March, they will donate. We made a spin up to Kohl's and TJ Maxx. I ...

I loathe the news and avoid it most of the time. I read (look at) the Tribune every day and I check out the Free Press online to make sure nobody I know has died or that some really big thing hasn't gone down about which I should know, avoiding ending a sentence with a preposition. Enough gets in that I don't appear to be a complete dolt, although maybe I do and nobody has told me. Most of what I see there, I can do just fine without knowing. This morning's headlines: tour bus crash in Egypt, pawn shop robbery, octomom eviction, and snowstorms in the East. I read less and less of it all the time and I'm mentally healthier for it. Unless the bad guy is coming down my street, I don't want to read it. So, this week, apparently with a shortage of other dismal news, the papers have to publish, or re-publish, their best news stories of the year. Oh, good. Let's just splash that crap all over the front page one more time. No, at the end of the decade, there it will...

A good time was had by all. Kids started arriving about 2:00. Little ones were napless which made for a long afternoon for some. They loved their toys and seemed to enjoy cruising the food table. Vickie joined us later in the day for a glass of wine and some cheer. We were all tired by the end of it. Regis and I did the bare minimum of clean up after everyone left which means there is a mess this morning. We're going to have a cup of coffee in front of the fireplace before we tackle it. As always, way too much food. I don't know how a guy plans something like this with a better idea of how much will actually be eaten. We could have had ten more people here and still had food left. We have a quiet day planned. We're going to clean up the house this morning, take a nap this afternoon, then join up with Reg and Amber and Vickie for some Christmas evening fun. Thanks to all, friends and family, who have been a part of our lives in the last year and helped us celebrate...

My first thought when I woke up this morning: I can't do this! There are too many things undone. But then I got a hold of myself and now I'm fine. Ella spent the night. I picked her up on my way home from school. We hadn't planned dinner and she wanted to go to Patrick's so down we trudged for a Cha Cha basket and a flatbread pizza. Young Regis and his friend, Don, met us there. I made meatballs when we got home. Regis browned them while I made the balls. I have an aversion to those frozen rubber things that look like faux meat. These are made from beef from the farm and ground pork. They will have a cream sauce made with real cream. We put a little blow-up bed beside our bed for Ella but after a few minutes of "trying that out", she wanted to get in beside me. She is still sleeping soundly. I woke up at 5 and looked around to see what I could do that didn't make a lot of noise. I chopped apples for apple sauce. The little kids love that warm chu...

Not sure how much time I'll get to blog tomorrow so I'll wish everyone a merry Christmas right now. Ella is coming over after school and there is lots of cooking and preparing to be done. We'll set up the big table with lots of pretty holiday dishes and wine glasses and chocolates and cookies. Ella will sleep on her little blow-up bed at the foot of our big bed. Tomorrow is Christmas! Enjoy the day with friends and family! More words and pictures as things transpire!

  The official start of winter was last night at 5:38. We recognized it by making a boatload of peanut butter cookies with Reese's cups in the middle and a batch of Swedish butter cookies. That's about all the baking I'll do. Here's to winter. I realized the other day that I have enjoyed the holidays a lot more since I learned that it's a process and not a day. I used to get so rattled by all the preparation that I was exhausted by the time Christmas really arrived. Now I try to do the things I enjoy and just let the days roll by with no sense of urgency. I'm much happier that way. What gets done, gets done. Ella is coming to spend the night Thursday. She has a little blow-up bed that we'll put in the bedroom with us. We're going to make meatballs and a cheesecake and some other treats for Friday. She likes to cook and is a pretty good helper. Regis taught her to play tic-tac-toe so I'm sure they'll get a few games of that in during the even...

Seriously. Where do the weekends go? It seems like we just get started and wham the weekend is over. It's a tease. Or a time warp. We had another fun family dinner last night. Tiffany and Elliot came about 4:00. We had spaghetti and meatballs with focaccia bread. Elliot ate like a champ and hardly made a mess. He was occupied most of the evening by a big piece of paper we laid over his little picnic table and some crayons. He can say "color". He also likes the magnets on the refrigerator and spends a lot of time taking them off and putting them back on. He was not so interested in wearing the Santa hat as his patience was about up with our shenanigans. I've had a cold for five days that makes my eyes run like a faucet. I have wiped them so much that I have red rings around them and I look like a raccoon. The Mary Kay night cream I keep smeared around them doesn't help the look much either. And you thought it was the wine, I bet. Ella and Alex are coming ov...

Regis and I were in a spaceship being chased through the Galaxy by slow mutants. We landed in a prison where the guards wore basket-woven zoot suits and pointy-billed fedoras. I love the detail in his dreams. My dreams are more like this: An amorphous blob of bad guy stuff chasing me. Rarely any detail. I think I have a boot addiction. I bought another pair of boots in the middle of the night. I wonder if there is a self-help group for this. I have slowed way down on the purchase of clothes but I can't seem to say no to boots. Good thing I know where to find a good deal thanks to Mom. I have a busy day planned: exercise, shopping for Christmas gifts, make English toffee. That should about take the day. Hey, the moon in the middle of the night was absolutely gorgeous. The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow gave a luster of midday to objects below. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh filled with beer. Regis made up that last part. ...

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain in Mark Twain’s Notebook, 1898 That explains a lot, now doesn't it? The other day, a card came in the mail from the PO. It said this: Notice to mailer of address correction. I puzzled over it for days. What did it mean? It was telling me that the address of the Herald was not Box whatever but 311 S. Minnesota Avenue. And I owed 50 cents postage due. What the hell. The Herald has been, as Regis pointed out, in the same building for 150 years. Governor Johnson worked in that building. Should I tape two quarters to the card and drop it back in the mailbox? Out on Highway 22, there is a monster billboard that just proclaims, in large black letters: JESUS. A friend of mine told me that his five year old son thought that Jesus was a convenience store. Well, the rest of the billboards are for things like gas stations and restaurants and...stores. I woke up at 3 a.m. again. I'm sitti...

Writing must be my salvation this winter. I can sit for hours over a piece of writing. Write, edit, write, think, write, edit. I’m sure it shows…such high quality verbiage. I wake up in the middle of the night and want to go out to my computer to write. Last night when I woke, I knew that was a bad idea so I took a half a trazadone (a medication used to treat insomnia, depression, and schizophrenia) instead and went back to sleep. I’m pretty sure I was suffering from insomnia and not schizophrenia. I think part of my waking problem has been Regis’s absence with his cold and his finals. He’s been distant and preoccupied. I understand completely but I miss him and feel lonely and miserable without him. I hope after his finals today and with his improving health, we can connect again. We’re trying to make a decision about refinancing our house. We’re both awful at financial things so we feel completely out of our league. This requires planning ahead and knowledge about financial affair...

Bob and Emily, Alex and Ella came to our house for dinner last night. We made a big old beef roast in the crock pot and I roasted potatoes and carrots in the oven. I haven't been doing any baking so we had store bought treats for dessert. Peter came last night for beef stew with dumplings. We made a Guinness cake for his school project and got so busy we forgot about the Santa hat picture. Tiffany and Elliot will come on Sunday for spaghetti and meatballs. It's been fun.

I woke up at 2:30 a.m. which is not generally good for a guy's mental health. I made it through the day in fine shape, did what I needed to do, bought some groceries after work, made dinner and a Guinness cake for Peter, but now feel fragile. Fragile and near to tears. I need to go to bed, but at (damn, another edit) an hour that won't mean I wake up in the middle of the night again. Regis had a dream the other night that people were being sent around to their destinations like Linux code. I don't even know what that means but he described it like they were being shoved into brass tubes and shuttled into space. When I was young, I would visit my grandma in Marshall. To wile away time while she was at work, I would go to the hardware store where they had a monkey in a cage (imagine) but the thing that interested me almost more than that was the wire that went from the till to the office on the second floor. When they needed change at the till, they put a twenty in the bras...

I woke up at 2:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. I have a few cold symptoms so I'm worried that I did not, as I hoped, dodge the bullet of the illness Regis has been suffering from for four days. I'm going to spend the day activating my endorphins . I checked weather underground this morning and the temperature is -6, forecast to be 9 degrees today. And they add: Much warmer than yesterday! It's a damn heat wave, I tell ya! Vickie had a little party after school yesterday which would have been great fun except that we were all so nervous about getting into her house over the icy walks and so nervous about getting home on the treacherous roads that it might as well have been a drive-by party. Pull into the driveway, have a glass of wine in the car, and go home. The weather has not been conducive to Christmas parties. Does anybody else feel like their skin is ready to flake off? Between the hand sanitizer, frequent hand washing, and the sub-zero temperatures, I...

My friend, Paul, was in Dallas for a professional meeting on Friday when I talked to him. I'm flying home tomorrow, he said. Hmmm, I doubt it, I said. Got a Facebook message yesterday that he was stranded in Dallas due to our snowstorm and wouldn't be home for 48 hours. Ugh. Even a pleasant hotel gets old after that many days. Not good. I think the people who do snow removal as a business are having a bumper year. And the folks who sell snow mobiles, snow shoes, parkas, and ice scrapers. Good for them! Not so much the people in the restaurant business who rely on Christmas events like Christmas in Christ Chapel and The Nutcracker to bring in crowds. Not so good for them. Young Regis finally heeded his father's advice and bought a snowblower. He's been shoveling the driveway at their new home but Dad figured this was going to be a back-breaking storm so Reg and Amber headed out Friday to buy a snow blower. They came home with a nice one so good for them. School i...

It's a beautiful day out there today! Regis and Young Regis are out cleaning up the driveway and sidewalks and I'm sitting in here snug and warm. Looks like we'll be able to make it to the Nutcracker so I'm happy about that.

The weather was frightful so we held the jingle bell jam on the treadmill in the basement instead of driving to New Ulm. I wore the Grinch Santa hat, several strands of jingle bells, and a string of battery operated lights and walked four miles (the official distance) in 59 minutes.

 Here I am in my new faux beaver coat. I'm in the backyard during the blizzard. This is what I do during blizzards: nothing of much consequence. Some people might look at it as a chance to clean the basement but I look at it as a day with no obligations. It's like someone plucked it off the calendar and said here you go do whatever you feel like doing. Here's the bookshelf behind the love seat in our dining room. It's really not the room where we dine because I moved that into the living room. The dining table is at one end of the room and the television, which we don't watch very often, is at the other end. It was part of my design to use the parts of the house for things we do frequently instead of having rooms we never used.  It made sense in my head when I first thought of it, and for the most part, it serves us well. Anyway, aren't the bookshelves of other people interesting? This is our Christmas tree. Regis used the star filter to get that effect. ...

Already made a blue cheese and bacon omelet. Did the dishes from last night's pizza dinner. Spent an hour internet shopping for Ella, Alex, and Elliot. Watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer this afternoon. Do the Jingle Bell Jam 4-mile run on the treadmill in the basement. Watch the snow fly. Feed the birds and squirrels. Take a picture of my new faux beaver coat. Make bean soup. Write our Christmas letter. Take pictures of the snowstorm.

At 6:30 last night, I announced that I was going to bed to read. Regis knew better. I cranked up the electric mattress pad, put on my warm pajamas, and crawled into bed with a magazine. I think I made it twenty minutes. I was afraid I would wake up at 10 and wonder what day it was but I slept right through until 4:00. A good night's sleep is so nice...and so rare anymore. It's warmer today and that will help, too. I wanted to welcome Jill and Larry back to solid ground. They've been on a cruise to the Panama Canal for two weeks, or on the Big Boat as Miles calls it. She's been posting pictures and stories on her blog and I love it. I'm not much of a traveler but I enjoy very much hearing about the travels of other folks. I got a Christmas card from a high school friend who talks about a two week trip to Antarctica. Now that's a big trip, too. Penguins, polar bears, seals, lots of snow and cold. Except for the wildlife...a lot like here. I have a travelin...

I made the mistake of reading the weather forecast tonight. So much better than hearing the alarmist weather people go on and on about it but alarming just the same. In the next few days, they are predicting freezing drizzle, snow up to four inches, high winds, and plummeting temperatures which means very cold wind chills. Oh, for God's sake. Who needs this? I am all for the change of seasons but really... Siberia? I can't stand it. Mom says I should stop paying attention to weather forecasters. She is probably right. On top of that we have been monitoring files at work which is a lot like giving birth and having a root canal at the same time. You're so glad when it's over but you never want to repeat it. Bad ass stuff. I have all the lights on tonight and I have a glass of wine. It's not helping. Now what? Regis is in the midst of finals for his two classes, one of which is networking. He says it's like giving birth and having a root canal at the same...

I came home very late from school, when it was almost dark, and I'm tired. We made dinner and I cleaned up that mess and the apples in the dehydrator. Now, I sit in front of the fireplace with a glass of pinot grigio. I have nothing to say but it's my favorite time to write. When I taught writing classes, I always said that the days you least feel like writing are the most important ones to write. Things percolate around in your brain and eventually (most days) something travels through your brain, down your arm, and out the end of your fingers. You don't know what you're thinking until you write it. My work has been stressful this year. I feel grossly incompetent in almost every area and I don't know why but it's painful. I think it's because I travel so much and I'm an inch deep and a mile wide. That's a bad analogy but what I mean is that I know a tiny bit about a lot of things but I don't know anything very well. I'm not anywhere long...

Back row, left to right: Peter, Glen (family friend), Regis Jr., Robert Next row, left to right: Me holding Elliot, Tiffany, Amber holding Ella, Betty (family friend) and Tom is over her right shoulder, Regis on the loveseat Front row: Emily holding Alex