doing life in the time of COVID-19, more random thoughts

1. I can't keep track of what number day it is in the shutdown. I looked back to see what day it started and it was March 18th so you can do the math. That's what I always say when confronted with a math problem of which counting is one.

2. We had a funny Easter celebration. I made a bag of Easter eggs for each family and they either came over here to do a simple egg hung right along the sidewalk while we sat on the patio or they did their own thing in their own yard. It was fun. We maintained social distance.

3. We got Easter dinner from a local restaurant. I picked it up Saturday, all packaged in foil and plastic and we reheated it on Sunday. It was the second Easter dinner we've had out of takeout containers and we have been grateful for each one. It was cold and snowing on Sunday anyway so who cares.

4. Weird weather continues with rapid changes from sunny to cloudy to zero visibility with huge snowflakes or graupel. I think I will be able to live my COVID life when the weather is warmer and sunnier. Sitting on the patio and waving to people who come by sounds sweet right now. My daffodils are up but not far. No flowers yet.

5. The news dropped today and that is a big outbreak of COVID in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. We dodged a big bullet there when Mom had her surgery in March. We spent one night in a hotel, got takeout, and got out of town. Might have been a different story this week.

6. I still I have not been cleaning or organizing but today I found a box of cards in the closet. Since I just ordered a bunch of stamps from the USPS it seemed like serendipity. I'm going to write a few cards every day and either mail them or deliver them on my bike. I have to find some ways to reach out more. I'm too content to stay home and avoid any kind of social gathering via zoom or facetime.

7. I have a lot of nice linen summer clothes which don't get worn a lot because you know, ironing. I've decided in this time of CV, I'm going to wear them around the house unironed. I think it will be a good look for me.

8. Yesterday I had to move the car while Regis moved the truck. We have a one-lane driveway. So as long as I was on the street I went around the block! Big outing! Tomorrow Regis isn't driving the transit so we're taking Gus to get groomed (might have her trim me up, too), then we'll go to Mankato to pick up groceries (aisles online), and get some takeout dinner.

9. I know I feel better if I get up in the morning and get dressed instead of waiting until 4 o'clock or the next day. Sweatpants are not a look I enjoy. I'm ok with wonky hair but I can't let my fashion sense go down the drain. It's a slippery slope.

10. I read today that Dr. Fauci finds the daily 2 hour press briefings exhausting. I can only imagine. The news is bleak but I have to watch some of it because what I think might have happened while I wasn't paying attention is sometimes worse.

a weird and windy day

Personal best during the coronovirus. I was awake, showered, and dressed by 9:30. Go, me! I did some things before noon, then took a break for lunch, reading, and a nap. Regis thinks that's pretty funny, but I am taking this schedule very seriously.

I made a macrame plant hanger. I know...a craft revived from the 60s but you know what they charge for those things? I made one in ten minutes, even with the cat's help. I sorted a few things, found a few lost items, did the dishes, and prepped for dinner. I have cooked more in the last two weeks, in an organized and purposeful way, than I have in a long time. We had steak on the grill last night and tonight, I made a hash with the leftover steak, potatoes, onions, and red peppers. It was delicious.

Later in the evening, I took a drive around town. I had heard that there was a house demolished on Front Street and I wanted to see it. There's also a garage construction going on (very slowly) and I wanted to check their progress. Unfortunately, both parties were present and I wasn't comfortable documenting their construction/destruction. I also saw two kids celebrating birthdays on the boulevard with parents and siblings. They had signs on poster board, balloons, and in one case, and actual throne made of plywood. It was glorious.

A friend of mine, frustrated with her inability to find yeast in a local grocery store, ordered 20 pounds from a bakery supply house in Canada. It was going for $40 a pound on Amazon and she sold a pound to me for $5 which seems like what I paid for it pre-virus. She delivered it on a scooter which should have earned a tip. Hurray for friends and yeast fairies.

I don't know how I can sleep for 8 hours at night, take a 1.5 hour nap after lunch, and still be tired at 8:00.

I have plans for the future. I'm going to finish my Senior Fitness certification. I'm going to make wind chimes from the shells I brought back from Texas. I have two garden plots to prepare for flowers and vegetables. I have a huge hosta garden in the front yard that needs some tending when the weather warms.

So, carry on, my friends. Love and sunshine and much respect to you all.

grocery shopping in the time of coronovirus

I reported yesterday that I had muffed my online grocery order. I got up early and went to HyVee during the hours set aside for the elderly and high risk. Well, if that isn't enough of a deterrent.

I got out of the car with a mask and gloves. They had sanitizing supplies inside the store to wipe down the cart handles and there were employees everywhere wiping down baskets, door handles, and checkout stations. There were arrows on the floor marking each aisle as one way and I will say that most people observed those boundaries. Then were a few assholes. I got through it in one piece but I will say it was a most surreal experience that I don't want to repeat.

I feel better today than I did yesterday when I was wallowing in despair. I miss my friends and my work at the Arts Center but I felt I was turning inward...a dark vortex. I offered my dollhouse to my grand-daughter, not knowing when she will be able to come here to play again. I'm going to have mini egg hunts for each family, in shifts, on Saturday. Just along the sidewalk so there is no contact. I'd like to do some decorating on the sidewalks with chalk but I think it's going to be raining so there is that. Wind, rain, and cold. Look for another one of those desperation posts.

Wow. Up and down. In one paragraph.

I talked to my boss at the Arts Center today which seems like an odd thing to call her because she is so...I don't know...real, authentic, human. I have paid time off. At my little bitty very part-time job. It's not the money as much as it feels like a very human offer of dignity. I matter and the job I do matters. It was one of my only human contacts in days.

I was outside a lot today in the beautiful sunshine. I potted a couple house plants which I haven't had for years. It felt good to handle dirt and living things. Maybe to nurture something.

I wonder if some of my distancing, holding things (people) at bay is a protective act. If I don't think about it too much, I don't have to feel the pain. Sigh.

We had such good news about my mom. She met with the medical oncologist today and we were prepared for a recommendation for radiation. She had many questions, the main one being how would that increase her life expectancy or her quality of life. Mom was pleasantly surprised to hear that he didn't recommend any further treatment. She could do a hormone treatment, but even that was optional and not urgent. Such a relief for everyone. I talked to Mom tonight and she was so happy that now she can forget about it and just enjoy each day.

Regis and I got in the car about 8 o'clock to go up on the hill to see the full moon. It was stunning, of course. Now, I'm home watching news, eating cookies, and sitting in this chair that must have memory foam because my butt remembers. Haha.



 

COVID DIARY DAY SOMETHING OR OTHER random thoughts

I haven't written for a while. Here are my thoughts in the midst of a pandemic.

1. I have trouble remembering what day/date it is. I have to check the Weather Channel app to validate. It adds to the lost feeling.

2. Mom is doing well. I came home a week ago and she was doing quite well then. My cousin and her husband spent a week with her and frankly, they were probably more useful than I was because they cook and clean and organize. None of that is in my wheelhouse. She meets with the medical oncologist tomorrow and she has a list of questions. I'm proud of her for taking charge of her treatment plan.

3. I look at my calendar most days but there isn't much there. I cross out the Arts Center hours and the coffee dates and the babysitting dates. I can't think about that too much. Tiffany came by today to pick up a couple of old games like Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders. It was good to visit from a distance and wave to Easton and Elliot. I can't think about that much either. I have a huge reservoir of grief.

4. I tried to do an online order for groceries but apparently I forgot the last step so today I discovered it was not active and there are no dates/times available for now. I tried a hundred ways to transfer it to my shopping list with no luck. I finally just did it the old-fashioned way and wrote it by hand on a piece of paper. Now, I have to go to the actual store in the morning at 7am, garbed in mask and gloves.

5. I am not doing the things I see some people doing. I am not organizing. I am not sorting and donating. I am not cleaning...deep or otherwise. I read. I sleep.

6. I have a lot of anger. At the president who I thought was a major dumb and incompetent asshole even before this and at the goof balls he has surrounded himself with and (this is important) at the people who continue to support him and think he's doing a good job. I won't name them. You know who they are. Mother fuckers.

7. I like to sleep and drink wine. I'm sorry if that goes against your notion of what a mentally healthy person should be doing. On sunny days, I go outside and talk to anyone who walks past my house.

8. I love Governor Walz and Governor Cuomo. And Anthony Fauci.

9. I'm tired of cooking. Tonight, I think I made French toast with a loaf of garlic bread. Regis didn't notice and I couldn't smell or taste it so I guess it proves we're feral and WTF.

10. I have had some thoughts about the gene pool. I'm not going to say anymore about that.

11. We have tried to patronize the local restaurants. We ordered from Patrick's the other night and Regis's grilled burrito came with a roll of toilet paper.

12. I don't have the mental capacity to get photos with these thoughts.

The end.

surviving COVID-19 #2

Well, that was a good plan but obviously not something that will be achieved daily. I have no discipline, I guess. Sigh.

Part of the problem is that I feel so differently every day. Things are not linear or even sloped in one direction or another, moving toward or away from despair. It's more like this:

I was on my way home from the grocery store this morning, having gone during designated senior citizen hours. Gah to that, but I appreciate their caution. Anyway, I had a thought but this first.

The store was quite civilized. I saw no pushing or grabbing or impolite behavior. Everyone gave each other wide berth....waiting until you exited an aisle before entering. Many wore masks. I wore gloves. Purple nitrile gloves. For posterity, here they are.

We didn't hoard them but bought them for our tax preparers. Now that we're done with that gig for a while, they are coming in handy. I put them on when I exited the car and took them off after the groceries were loaded back into the car. Then I sanitized my hands. I usually like to have breakfast or coffee as a reward after shopping but these are not usual times so I drove through the line at Caribou and drank my iced Americano in the parking lot. I gave the young woman a hefty tip, because I know what it's like to be a working college kid.

My thought as I was driving home was this. I remember clearly after the tornado, walking around the block (weather similar to this...cold and gray) and sobbing because it felt like a war zone. Piles of branches at every corner. No street lights. The sounds of helicopters and generators. It was terrifying.

This is like that, but after the tornado, we could drive to LeSueur or Mankato and things were normal. We could buy batteries and candles and have dinner like we usually did. You could order off the menu and you didn't have to get in line at the Salvation Army van in the street. (We were very grateful for Easter ham and scalloped potatoes in styrofoam containers that year!) When you drove ten miles for dinner, people had taken showers and dressed up. Two things difficult to do when we had no hot water, no lights, and so much to worry about besides whether our clothes matched...or not.

By the time I got home, though, my mood had lightened. I unpacked the car and left a few things for my trip to Canby and Sioux Falls to take Mom to surgery. There's a dearth of "supplies" out that way even in normal times so I had some dread about not finding coffee or food. Solved that by buying supplies to keep in the car. I've decided that cold brew coffee in bottles might have to do for a while.

I'm also packing a bag of disinfecting wipes, hand sanitizer, spray disinfectant, and tissues. I'm taking extra clothes, not knowing how long I will be there or what the circumstances will be like when I do come home.

If this seems like over-preparation, remember what Dr. Fauci said: If in the end it seems like you did too much, then you did the right things. Or something like that.

surviving COVID-19 #1

I saw somewhere today that historians recommend writing down your experiences with the coronavirus every day. For posterity. I usually like to do things in a linear fashion which means I am behind in my record but I'm just jumping in. So much feels out of my control. Everything feels out of my control.

I went for a walk up by the high school this afternoon. Regis and Gus go up every day and I thought it would be a good way to get some structure into my day. Seriously, my ass is sore from sitting in the chair so much. You know that physics thing: a body at rest tends to stay at rest.

So, I thought I would go and look for signs of spring, of which there were precious few. I found a couple blades of green grass but those might have overwintered green. It was a pretty much monochromatic landscape. Brown. Gray. Not uplifting at all, but it did feel good to walk.

Everything is closed. Coffee shops, hairdressers, the dentist, bars, banks, restaurants. It feels like a ghost town. So strange to have nowhere to go and no place to be. I am continuing to work with my fitness client but I am prepared for that to end soon. I wonder if we could do virtual workouts. There are two confirmed cases in Nicollet County and two in Blue Earth County.

I sent a text to all the kids today and asked them to let us know how they are and to send pictures of the kids. They were heartwarming. I realize I am going to have to work at things for a while...finding good, being happy, staying active.

 

Breathe. Love. Breathe.

doing the social distance dance

Regis and I went out the other day and did some necessary errands. I noticed, at each place, that people automatically move away when you enter. As I got out of line at the court house, the four people waiting moved aside so I could walk between them. At the vet clinic, the fellow who came in after me, made a big circle and waited on the other side of the room. It's a little creepy.

I had a dream the other night that I would call my typical anxiety dream. Mankato had built a huge river walk downtown, three layers of wide concrete walkways with ramps and steps. There were lots of stands selling food and drink and souvenir t-shirts. My friend, Joanne, was with me and inexplicably, we were driving a bulldozer. Like Thelma and Louise. Sometimes we had trouble locating a ramp when we needed one so we would announce ourselves, people would scatter, and we'd drive the bulldozer down the steps.

We didn't drive off the top level into the river but we sure made a hell of a mess.

Not much new to report on Mom. We're anxiously watching news of the Covid-19 virus and hoping it won't prevent her surgery. Today, there are 4 cases in the county where her hospital is located.

Here's how serious it is in Minnesota. The St. Patrick's Day parade was cancelled and the Irish pub, Patrick's has to close at 5pm, at the governor's direction. Someone posted a meme on Facebook that said obviously Governor Walz has not heard of day drinking. Just a little pandemic humor.

Shirley Update

Mom's been a traveler this week. She went to Sioux Falls on Monday to see the surgeon, then went back on Tuesday to be cleared by the cardiac folks. All good.

This morning, the surgeon's office called and scheduled her surgery for Thursday, March 26. I'll go out to Canby on the 24th because we have to go to the hospital on the 25th so she can have a magseed placed. That's a new one.

Here's what a magseed is:The Magseed marker is a small radiation-free seed that is easily placed by the radiologist in soft tissue with no restrictions on implantation time. On the day of surgery, the patient can go directly to the operating room, without delaying the start of the procedure. The surgeon then uses the Sentimag platform to confidently localize the Magseed marker.

And here's what it looks like.

Looks huge in the first picture but it's actually very tiny.

Optimism

I think it's in her DNA to be optimistic and to have a cheerful outlook. When times are tough, Mom always says, "This too shall pass," and says she remembers her own mother repeating that proverb when the struggle was real. Here you go, Mom.

If you're curious about the origins of this proverb, here's what Wikipedia has to say on the subject.
 
Cousin Deb and Larry drove out to Canby yesterday to take Mom to her surgery consult today in Sioux Falls. My brother, Pat, will meet them to be another set of ears and to ask questions. No doubt this will involve lunch at some fine dining establishment. Never miss an opportunity for a good meal, I always say. One of them will call me this evening to give me the low-down and I will pass it on via this blog asap. I only slept for three hours last night (full moon, time change, dog on the bed) so I can't say exactly when that will be.

 In my research, I found a lot of people have an equally optimistic outlook but with a little side of dark humor.

 Have a safe and uneventful trip today! Wish I could join you for lunch!


 

Shirley's Adventures

Ten days ago, Mom sent an email to us letting us know she had found a lump in her breast. Her local doctor thought it was suspicious and referred her to the Edith Sanford Breast Center in Sioux Falls. Her first appointment was at 10:30 on Monday, March 2nd.

I drove to Canby last Sunday and we went to Sioux Falls the next morning. Not only did they get her in a little early, but by 12:30 she'd had a mammogram, an ultrasound, and a biopsy. They were reasonably certain with those tests that it was some kind of cancer and they didn't see any evidence of lymph involvement which would be very good news. The tumor is 1.2 centimeters (less than half an inch), but it will need to be removed surgically. 

Mom reacted as I thought she would. She shrugged and said, "What are you going to do?", it's just something to deal with and she had all the nurses and doctors laughing. She told them we were going out for lunch and wondered if she could have a glass of wine. When they said yes, she wondered if she could have two.

After a most delicious lunch at Grill 26 (Minerva's), we drove back to Canby to wait for a call about the pathology. Not too many details yet, but it's invasive lobular carcinoma. You can read more about it here if you like medical information: Invasive Lobular Carcinoma

The next day, the surgery center called to schedule Mom for a consult with a breast cancer surgeon. She will likely get more details then, like the staging and recommendations for treatment.Mom's appointment is Monday, March 9th. Cousin Deb and Larry are coming out to Canby from Minneapolis to take Mom to this appointment. I'll update here as more news becomes available.

To the right, you can put in your email address 
and you'll be notified when there is a new update.

Update

I'm too tired to put together a reasonable chronology of the last few days. Tomorrow, I promise. 

best laid (or alternatively, layed) plans

 

I meant to get back to blog posting with this trip, but I made a mistake in the settings for emailing posts and couldn't fix it on my phone. Hell.

Now, I'll go back through my photos and posts on Facebook and try to recreate my trip.

Flora and fauna

I'm fascinated by the birds and growing things here.

I have figured out that one of the common trees is the Cook Island Pine. They grow very tall and always lean a little toward the equator. 

The funny little bird that runs in the edge of the water is a semi-palpated plover. I'll get some video today. 

Airport

Flight delay. 😩 I have met such nice people. A circus performer with purple hair from Denver. A doctor from Burma. A guy who just got married for the first time at 61. An older lady from Port Isabel who is on my flight.

I’ve had fun at the airport but I’m tired and my binder is sore from sitting.

Carry on!

Inauspicious beginning

Pre-departure

Maybe I am relaxing into this travel thing a little bit. I just packed one tiny bag. I haven't made a list. I didn't buy anything new. I'm not even fretting.

I made my own reservations and believe I did it right. Last time I traveled, I made a reservation for 2am instead of 2pm. It resulted in flying home first class on Delta instead of that cheap ass tour bus in a third world country airline so it wasn't the worst mistake. (Thanks, Larry Butler.) I know how to check in online and I know how to print my ticket. I'm taking the shuttle to the airport and I have all that ready, too.

I haven't felt the need to update my will or clean out the freezer because if you die before you make it home, people might judge your housekeeping.

I did post this somewhat pessimistic update on Facebook last night.

I’m sure some will view me as a complete rube, but the truth is, I am about to embark on a cross country trip that makes maybe my 6th or 7th, depending on whether you count Minneapolis to Cedar Rapids cross country. It’s nothing but that I like home. I don’t feel any compunction to leave and find unfamiliar spaces. I like my chair, my view, my pets, and my honey. Regis dreamed once that we dressed in lederhosen and visited www.germany.com. It’s how we roll.
So, here I am, a total nervous wreck. Full of unreasonable fears. Tidal waves. Jelly fish. Marauders who will kill me and bury my bullet riddled corpse in the sand. Ah, well. It might be fine. I’m not optimistic.

I am very excited to see my friend, Betty. We've been friends since the late 70s when I moved to St. Peter. These are pictures from our early days...way before cell phone cameras.

So, here I go. Off to visit the land of sun and sea. Betty says we'll see sea turtles and maybe dolphins. I can't wait to eat fresh sea food. I'll be documenting my trip here so all is in order and I'll publish the link on Facebook.

See ya' later!

chickens

Another chicken appeared in my yard today. What the heck. My friend, Mimi, who has some chicken experience, thinks it’s strange that somebody isn’t looking for their chickens. They are beautiful and look well cared for, and when I asked Mimi if she knew what kind they were, she said, “Edible.” 😂😂😂 If you hear of someone missing their chickens, send them here. Hey, maybe they escaped from the county fair!

The chicken mystery has been solved and it turns out we have our own neighborhood version of Chicken Run going on. I heard clucking in the backyard this morning and went to investigate. There was another chicken hunter back there and she said her neighbor had been given five chickens, two were butchered and the remaining chickens after witnessing the bloody horror, escaped. Well, who can blame them and no wonder they’re skittish. I’m not going to rat them out so they’re free to parade through my yard any time they want.

even the garden frog is laughing

Sometimes things are just so absurd there is no making sense of it. This week in politics has absolutely blown my mind. The president of the United States makes these racist remarks and people support him? Women and people of color at his rally cheer for him and repeat that four Congress women should go back to the countries they came from? It's unfathomable. And it's personal. But it's kind of a washing machine kind of thing for me...so many emotions and thoughts and fears are churning around now that I can barely be articulate.

It's been a busy summer. Lots of gardening, watching babies grow and learn, coffee with friends, work at the Arts Center. Life is so good and so rich that it helps keep my head above the quicksand. Last night we had our monthly Third Thursday Potluck. We're on our third year, some have gone and some new faces have joined us and it's always so much fun and so much good food.

Yes, I colored my hair purple. It's an homage to Prince, my friend Kathryn, and Megan Rapinoe. And it's a flip of the bird to the White House. (I know that isn't rational.) My friends last night were very complimentary of my purple locks. It's only hair and it's temporary so what the hell. I should have brought the bottle of Purple Rain and done a couple streaks for those who were interested.

I'm inspired but I still don't get much done. I finally mailed a Christmas package to Jane in Iowa that arrived in time for the 4th of July. What the hell. Hahaha!

Tech wizard

Epic moments in my technology history.

After a month of wrangling with Godaddy and Google, I managed to renew the lease on my domain. I also ordered groceries for the first time using Aisles Online at HyVee. Ta da! Taking many bows and receiving a standing ovation. Yay me.

Another technological advance. Hard to believe, but I have never learned how to use cruise control. I didn’t like the feeling of no control for one thing and learning a new skill while rocketing down the highway seemed risky. Regis gave me a lesson last week and yesterday I remembered to deploy both buttons, and voila...I’m cruising!

can i say yes, i am an artist?

I've never thought of myself as an artist. The last class I had related to art, not counting the wine and paint gatherings where the main focus of course, was wine, was in middle school. Miss LaCroix, who was a very good teacher taught me things I still remember...how to paint trees and humans and form follows function. Then I pretty much left that subject alone.

I have always loved to write but I never thought of that as art until I started working at the Arts Center. People would ask if I was an artist, and finally I could say, "I am a word artist." But it still seemed different.

About a year ago, I decided to take drawing lessons. I signed up for three lessons and struggled mightily but I did learn that it was ok to struggle and I could keep going.

I found a wonderful teacher who calls herself my creativity mentor. For the last year, she has encouraged me through drawing, some introduction to painting, paper cutting, the fundamentals of art and design, famous artists, and many different art materials. I have a huge collection of my own supplies and I even set up a studio in our basement. I have an antique drafting table that belonged to a man who had been an artist and illustrator for many years. I bought myself a cool LED lamp and a nice chair and I've done a reasonable job of organizing things.

The last time we met, my teacher introduced the notion of a project. She had ideas from things I have talked about, the way in which to encourage me. She suggested a three part project...abstract landscapes, writing about landscape and home (mostly things I have already done), and three dimensional sculpture using fiber.

The last one has given me the most pause. I've been a knitter but mostly used the cheap acrylic yarn from the big box stores. I don't know much about real wool fiber, so I'm learning. I'm learning about color, and texture, and heddle looms, and circular weaving, and free-style weaving. It's a blast.

Thursday, my teacher and I are going to Mankato to check out a yarn stash sale. I want to know more about felting.

I have so many ideas that sometimes I have to take a nap to give my head a rest. Haha!