The Blog: Spellbound by our own imperfect lives...

It was 40 degrees this morning at 6 a.m. and that's above zero, my friends. What a weird winter. I'm not sure how warm it got but it felt like spring. Nice...but weird. Regis and I watched Cowboys and Aliens last night. I really loved the cowboy parts and Regis really loved the alien parts which means it was the perfect movie for us. Read Roger Ebert's review. He says it's the most cockamamie plot he's seen in a movie in a long time. Daniel Craig makes a great cowboy, though. I had to cover my eyes a few times during violent scenes but it was way more tolerable than some movies I've seen lately. Our neighbor, Mike, is an illusionist, magician, and comedian. He's been working on an illusion for three years that he calls Paintball Roulette. Here's his poster. I have a ticket and I'm going. It should be a hoot. I'm not sure about this blog design. I didn't get much feedback...a couple of positive notes...but I kind of like seeing it

Down near the bottom of the crossed-out list of things you have to do today, between “green thread” and “broccoli” you find that you have penciled “sunlight.” Resting on the page, the word is as beautiful, it touches you as if you had a friend and sunlight were a present he had sent you from some place distant as this morning — to cheer you up, and to remind you that, among your duties, pleasure is a thing, that also needs accomplishing. ~ from “The Word,” by  Tony Hoagland

I have had a weekend of technology. First, I spent most of yesterday figuring out all that promotion business with qr codes and smart phones, then I have spent today figuring out the new google pathways to my blog. It ain't easy being me. Regis and I went to a party last night where we played games and gambled. I am notoriously bad at card games but these were easy and a lot of fun. None of them involved holding a card to your forehead which was the game I played last time I was at a party where we played cards. That was probably 1982. I managed to hold my own in the games with only occasional reminders to pay attention or pay my quarter. It was a laugh riot and I came home with five dollars more than I had when I left. So there you go. I am constantly amazed by the stupid things that get a lot of attention. I wrote a goofy post on FB about qr codes and teaching an old dog new tricks. So far, about ten people have "liked" it. I can write a lovely and lyrical thing abo

I decided to give my blog a new look. This is called the dynamic view and since I am most certainly dynamic, we'll give it a shot. Let me know if you love it or hate it. You can change the dynamic view you see by clicking on snapshot, sidebar, magazine, etc. Just trying to get in the modern world.

This has been a busy week. Lots of activity at work and at home. Thursday night, I went to my first Writing in Vignette class at the Art Center. It was very interesting and I woke up the next morning at 4, thinking about my homework. I thought that was a good sign so I went into the office and cranked out a few vignettes. I worked with a woman years ago who told me she was reading a book that was a series of little vinaigrettes. It tickled me so that I can hardly say the word correctly now. I had to tell the instructor the story in case I slipped and used the word vinaigrette in class. I've been busy writing for the coffee shop blog, too. My job has been in a state of flux for months and it seems like we're finally settling on what my job should and should not be. That would be a relief. I think we're settling on these things: promotion, public relations, and networking. Yes, I can do that. Peter stopped over the other night, unexpectedly. We didn't have dinner

I was browsing around Kohl's yesterday and found this red sparkly dress on a clearance rack and knew that Ella would love it. It has glitter all over it and it swirls like a ballroom dance gown. She can also tuck her markers in the neckline which she thinks is a great bonus.

Regis and I put Gus in the back seat and motored to Mankato yesterday. We had our usual errands to do and then we stopped at Pet Expo. I wonder why people think your dogs want to visit. Or they stop to compare dog genetics. Our dog is part poodle, too, one guy tells me. I think he should spend his disposable income on dental work and a laundromat instead of dog food. They also want the dogs to meet each other. I don't really think Gus cares about meeting other dogs in the pet store. What are they going to do...set up a coffee date? My dog does not need to meet every scruffy Shitzu that comes through the door. The whole thing makes me nervous. I find myself struggling a bit to write here. I think I should avoid politics because you can't write about that without extreme sarcasm, I avoid religion because I don't want to offend people, I should avoid sports. What's left? Do I issue disclaimers at the beginning of each post? Irony and sarcasm...it's what I do bes

At the coffee shop, there was a picture on the kitchen door of some sports figure. I walked by it many times before I bothered to see who it was. Tim Tebow. Who? If he hadn't had a helmet on, I wouldn't have known which sport he played. I mentioned him to my boss today and she said, "Who?" There are about 30 years between us, me and my current boss. We are alike in some strange ways and our complete and utter disinterest in sports is only one. We laughed and furrowed our brows as we puzzled over the Super Bowl. Which sport is that for again? And isn't it presumptuous to think that everyone wants the sports section in the Sunday paper? Mom just gave me the low-down on the GOP debate. The moderator asked Mr. Gingrich about an allegation that he asked his ex-wife for a three-way. I am almost falling out of my chair and that's no BS. This is a subject for a presidential debate? I wonder how many people listening to that debate know what a three-way is. OMG WTF

I can't remember if Mike told me this subject line was a quote or something he made up. Either way is possible. Mike is my neighbor and we like to talk about the creative process, him being a comedian and magician and me being, well...a bullshitter. There is nothing people like better than a good story and if you aren't out and out telling lies, like you're a millionaire and you aren't, they don't care. They like a good story. I never tell stories about meeting Elizabeth Taylor or dating Leonardo Di Caprio but I have been known to embellish. I came home to ask Regis who Tim Tebow is. I saw his picture at River Rock but I had no idea he was a football player. Ha. The other thing I did not know about is SOPA. Well, there you go. I should watch the news, right? Gus got slicked up today at Kind's. He loves going there because he loves everybody. He's getting curlier and curlier...hair and tail. Regis and I had a funny conversation about hair ver

I bet they've had to lay off some weather forecasters this year. It's been pretty boring. Mild temperatures, no snow, partly cloudy. They could have phoned it in the first of November and gone off to some more interesting weather locale. I read an article in a magazine at the Pulse a couple weeks ago. Usually the kind of self-help article I avoid because I've gotten pretty comfortable with my neuroses thanks very much. This one affirmed a trend I have been practicing the last few years. The title is "In Praise of Rose-Colored Glasses". The gist is that the world is a hard, scary place and getting worse. Things are going to hell in a handbasket. A poet, Jack Gilbert says, "We must have the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless furnace of the world." Yes. This is how I like to live. If there is some bad thing occurring to someone I know, that's different. I can help that situation. If there is a world problem I can do something abou

I barely left the house yesterday (Sunday) but I know it was warm outside because I saw people walking with their jackets open and no hats or gloves. I should have taken advantage of that but I didn't. The wind today was cold and wicked ass bad. Sorry for the cussing. My friend, Jill, spotted this book title on Amazon this morning: The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making. She said it sounded like a title that came from one of my dreams and it surely does. I made cabbage rolls for dinner. I have never eaten cabbage rolls, or even seen them, in my memory anyway, and to make them more palatable I gave them a pizza flavor. I used pizza sauce and added fennel and Italian herbs. Regis calls the hallupke or something and said his mama is rolling in her grave because Polish cabbage rolls do not taste like pizza. I said next time I would skip a step and just chop the cabbage and make it into a hotdish. Hahahahaha. This is how ethnic food transforms. It's y

Road trip today with Gus in the back seat. Many stops (Coop, Friendly Confines, River Rock, Kohls, Aldi's, MGM, Walgreens, Famous Dave's) while Regis either waited with him or we took a seat by a window. He enjoys traveling but doesn't like to be alone. It was a fun day. Now...Delbert McClinton, sauvignon blanc, rib tips, and the fireplace. Maybe we discovered a way to do some things without hiring a babysitter. We scoped out a few places with windows where we can keep an eye on Gus in the car. We thought we'd tell people that our kids were in the car so they would give us the seats we want. I know...not funny. Tonight we're going to recreate the great Sideways caper.  I have several funny stories about Sideways. The first we saw it, we invited some friends over to see it, then checked out the reviews where it was called a "horndog road trip". Sound of screaming. These were not the kind of friends who would enjoy that kind of humor, I assumed.

I was sitting in my chair last night about dusk, well, make that 4:30 about dusk and I realized that I had no plans to be out of the house until Monday. Sometimes this is fine but last night with the landscape that resembled Siberia and the falling darkness, it was not fine. I had a mental moment. Consequently we have plans to head out to do some things today. A stop at the food coop, a stop at Friendly Confines in LeSueur, a stop at Kohls in Mankato and maybe Aldi's for some coffee. Gus will ride along in the back seat. This morning, I have been sitting in front of the fireplace making my menu and grocery list for the coming weeks. I must be tired of my own cooking, too, because I bookmarked some new recipe websites. Karen, thanks for the recommendation on the book. I bought it for my Kindle in the middle of the night when  I was awake and started reading it this morning. I think I'll like it. It's cold here again this morning...about ten degrees...with a light sno

It's a well-known fact that I hate wind. I have always retreated to the basement when the wind blows for extended periods of time. I believe it goes back to my Norwegian immigrant roots. If I had lived in a poorly chinked log cabin in the winter in Minnesota, it would have taken a lot of grapes to make enough wine. That's all I can say about that. So, Regis just called and said Gus has been invited to disenroll from the class he is currently in and to enroll in a different class where he can.....get more individual attention. I SPENT MY WHOLE CAREER IN SPECIAL ED AND I KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. Ah, well. In life, you never know what you get. I continue to be made aware of the bizarre ways in which people believe God communicates with them electronically. I cannot get my head around this. I was raised a Lutheran. I studied the catechism. This much we know is true. No mention was made of God and Facebook. I have reawakened my reading chi and spent about an hour this afternoon w

Regis found a photo booth app for his iPad. We can take pictures like the old photo booths at the fair and the mall. Ha! We want to have a photo booth party where people bring props and we provide costumes and we take pictures. Does that sound like fun? My hair looks like crap because once you slap a wig on your head, your hair does not recover well. Ah, well. One of life's problems but not a big deal. I like to wear sunglasses in flash pictures because I always close my eyes. I think I like the black and white version better...it looks more authentic. I continue to be amazed by the number (infinity) of apps that seem to be available and I am ever curious about who makes them. Who sits around waiting for an idea to come and then invents an app? Is invent the right word? Probably not...probably develop. I was sitting at work the other day and heard two people having a conversation about web development. It was like a foreign language. I feel like in the last month, I

From time to time, I dream a book title like: The Party What Started Out as Jumpin' Around . They are never fully developed concepts and so far, no books have been written based on a dreamed title. Last night I had another book title dream and I had to get up in the middle of the night to email it to myself. It's a memoir. I just finished Roger Ebert's memoir so I suppose memoir is on my mind. I am also well-known for my love of cooking and my affection for flamboyant costume jewelry. The title of my book was this, written exactly like this: NIB BLING Nibbling. Get it? Hahahaha! A message to Betty and Tom. We miss you. Your house seems empty when we drive by even though we know your pets are there and someone is taking care of them. Your bar stool at Patrick's has cob webs on it, Tom. Your end of town is just a little bit darker than it used to be. Come home soon.

I've been a little disturbed lately about the parking wars going on around town. This is not a new thing, nor is it unique to St. Peter. The gym where we go is next door to a building that was recently purchased by a pizza  restaurant. There is a parking lot between the two buildings. One of the owners of the pizza place came over a while back and asked the owner of the gym to let patrons know that they were not allowed to park in the parking lot anymore as it is part of their lease, they keep it clean, their customers need it, etc. The owner of the gym sends an email and posts signs reminding us not to park in the parking lot. Yeah, we get it. Then comes an officious, rude, and threatening letter (written on pink and blue paper) saying that people who do park there will be fined and have their cars towed at their own expense yada yada yada. So, the owner of the gym posts her own signs that there is no parking in front of her business from 5:00 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. At least sh

Regis and I get our beef from Mike out by LeCenter so we sometimes get cuts of meat we aren't sure how to cook. I looked at some recipes yesterday but most had gravy and I didn't want gravy so I invented this recipe. It was delicious and we will make it again! Round Steak Zapata 2 pound (?) round steak, seasoned liberally with something spicy. We used Penzey's Southwest Brown steak in vegetable oil on both sides. Slice up two red peppers and two white onions. Toss them in the frying pan aside the meat. Stir them a bit so they get some of the spice and the oil, add about a 1/4 cup of salsa, then cover. I cooked the meat for an hour, turning once, and stirring the vegetables from time to time. At the end, I took the meat out and sliced it into about half an inch thick. Return meat to pan. I shredded a circle of Cacique Manchego (Mexican melting cheese) and covered the meat and vegetables with the cheese. Recover until the cheese melts...just a few minutes. Dump the whole bus

It doesn't seem like a weekend in winter. It's brown, it's warm, and there are no predictions of the blizzard of the century bearing down on us. It's very boring. I have been spending more time at my desk this week...sorting junk mail, writing down addresses, getting organized. I dug out an old address book because I can't seem to manage keeping track of them electronically. Now, I'm on the hunt for my really old address book that I've had since the 70's. Once in a while, I like to count how many times different people have moved. Ha! I know...strange. It's interesting to go through an old book like that and see how many people have just dropped out of your life. Ah, well. I'm tired of digging around in the archaeological dig of my life. I think I'll move into the future and write the first paragraph of next year's Christmas letter. The things I did today going backwards: Put a well-seasoned round steak on the stove with lots of p

When I was at the Pulse this morning, I remembered a dream. I was running and running and running and I thought, "Wow. I can't believe how easy this is!" Well, yeah. In a dream. I woke up at one point in the night and was hungry so I ventured out to the kitchen for a Clementine orange and a handful of dry roasted peanuts. I started reading...and then fell asleep. A while later, I woke up surrounded by orange pieces and peanuts. Don't sleep and eat. It's like drinking and driving. Mutually exclusive activities.

Sitting in the living room with the Christmas tree lights on and drinking coffee...looking out into the dark morning...reading a little...writing a little. Yesterday, I packed up the second third of the Christmas decorations. Why do they look so pitiful when they're piled up on a chair, waiting to go back into boxes? I'll keep the tree up for a long time but will change out the Christmas ornaments for Valentine's Day, then St. Patrick's Day. I need the light. Ella wants to come and help with the Valentine's Day tree. She was disappointed that I had done the Christmas tree without her. Who knew that she would remember that and look forward to it. We'll make an occasion of the next tree trimming. Last year was a Christmas card winter. We had beautiful fluffy snow all winter and it never got brown and slushy until it was ready to melt in the spring. I know it made travel, by foot and by car, difficult but it was so much more aesthetically pleasing. This winte

A birthday party when you're six years old... An uncle who will wear a tiara because you ask him to is a pretty special uncle. Ella and her Nana Blowing out the candles Alex wanted it to be his birthday, too. Ella and Halley We traveled to the other side of town in the icy wind to celebrate Ella's birthday. There was lots of excitement in the air. Saturday when Ella was at our house, we sorted through my jewelry box and junk drawer. She went home with an old purse full of discarded plastic cards, bits of bracelets, charms, a single earring, and some stories we wrote on little pieces of paper. Her mom told me she was more excited about the purse full of junk than she was about the presents. Ha! I thought the weather man said the wind would go down by midnight. If it did, it returned with a vengeance. Ugh. I don't even want to go outside. Wind is my least favorite weather event. I have a full day. The Pulse from 7-8:30. Coffee with Joanne at 8:45. Work as s

Regis got some kind of electronic message this morning regarding a high wind alert. You know how those things come out of nowhere...the messages, I mean. I have no idea, most days, how information gets into my head because there are too many sources. Way too many sources. And really? Someone had to send a message that it's windy? I knew that in the middle of the night when I was half asleep with my eyes closed. I bought myself a present for the new year, a Kindle Fire. I was resistant at first, then came to the conclusion that at the rate I am reading right now, I will fill the house with books again shortly and we don't have room. So, if I wanted to attempt a conversion to electronic reading, I had to get something friendlier than the Kindle I was using, an older model black and white job. I was not a fan of that Kindle. I didn't like that I never got to see the cover of the book. I couldn't remember titles of authors because I didn't have any visual framework. I