tuesday

February 01, 2011

Elliot went home last night about 8 o'clock. He is a doll and we love him but he is exhausting as most little kids are when you're old. I have a renewed respect for parents of young children. They have amazing energy. Elliot's saving grace is that he runs up behind me and hugs my legs. When I pick him up, he kisses my cheek, then turns my face to kiss the other cheek. He reminds me of Tiffany.

I moved the Christmas tree into the dining area tonight and decorated it for Valentine's Day. In a month, it will become the Equinox/St. Patrick's Day tree.

For some reason, I started reading my old blog posts. I think I was looking for an old picture of the Valentine's Day tree which I did not find, but I did find an old post called: keep your fried baloney hole shut. I laughed out loud. Did I make that up? I asked people to use my two new favorite words, sycophant and ennui, in a sentence. The comments are priceless. This one, I fear, was written by my husband.

She really doesn't talk like that and she cannot spell either. I think sycophant is really spelled psychophant and the psycho lost his phat pants so he is now feeling some ennui.

If not Regis, then I have a big fan in Singapore who is looking for a market for his generic viagra. I get a lot of comments from those dudes. I also get a lot of comments from people who are learning English and some well-meaning teacher gave them the assignment to write comments on blogs. Clever. The comments have nothing to do with what I wrote and the syntax is all wrong. Can't you picture it? A 7th grader in Mozambique writing a comment about keep your fried baloney hole shut.

My friend Kathy gave me a gorgeous dress today. She wore it to a Tina Turner concert in 2000. It's long with a slit up the right side and snake skin looking jacket. Very hot. It has good mojo, too, since I got it from Kathy, who is a major hoot. I can't wait to wear it somewhere. Maybe to happy hour at Patrick's some Friday. Now that they've seen the red wig, no tellin' what I'll do next.

Kathy's daughter has a dog who looks like Bert named Elliot. Elliot was a rescue dog. He apparently does not like men because he barked constantly at Regis. When Regis bent over to pet him, Elliot nipped him. He's the reincarnation of Bert! Run for your lives! In case you don't bother with links, read this:

Dead Dog
By the time you read this, that dog might be dead. Today, I walked into the living room with the phone in my hand. Bert sauntered up beside me and lifted his leg to pee all over the Christmas tree skirt. I gave him a gentle kick in the ass as I uttered a stream of cuss words worthy of a sailor... and he turned to pee on my leg. I put the phone down and went to the back yard to dig a small dog-shaped hole in the dirt.

Maniacal laughter. That dog was the spawn of Satan.

I spent some time tonight putting things away. I don't know if this is normal behavior, but when I'm done using something like the KitchenAid mixer, I just plop it down on the kitchen floor. I walk around it for days and then eventually put it somewhere, sometimes even where it belongs. But not always. It's a despicable habit.

We're going to listen to one of our old favorite radio shows tonight. We've shunned it for a while because, seriously, that guy has had some weird shit on there. I won't mention his name because if you happen to be doing a google search for him (he's local) and this pops up, I would feel terrible. We'll give him another chance. We're listening to big band right now and I have to say, this is not a favorite era of mine. It all sounds the same. To me...uneducated musically, I admit.

I went through my downloads file tonight. Here is an interesting one. Oh, the stuff you find on google.

If you sit around in public places and stare at your phone...check these cartoons out. Probably have to click on them and they get bigger. That's how it is in the cyber world.