Medical

I had my six month oncology appointments yesterday. I had a blood draw at 7:30, saw my research nurse at 9 and the doc at 9:20. He forgot to send the order for Zometa so I waited three hours until he could order it and the pharmacy staff could get back from lunch. What might surprise you is that I didn't even come close to losing my mind. I was a very patient patient.

One of the numbers on my blood panel was slightly elevated so I have to have a CT scan. I only deal with generalities regarding medical crap so don't ask about details. I pay a boatload of money to my oncologist so he can pay attention to the details. We decided to do it in Waseca because I could in today and maybe get the results this afternoon. No urgency about it...I didn't feel like waiting until July to have it done in Mankato.

So, while I always have a small kernel of dread in the pit of my stomach when it comes to these things, I try to balance that by reminding myself that the answer is already written down somewhere out there in the universe and I don't want to waste time on worry. I did have the gray faced men marching around the bed for a time during the dark hours before dawn, but they vanished with the sun.

Gus went for an early walk with Regis, Woody had some tuna with his breakfast, and we had a lovely drive through the countryside. Life is good.

it's been loud in the neighborhood

I've ranted about this in the past, but today, I proclaim I have found a solution. Some people just have to make noise. My neighbor came home with an industrial sized weed whacker. The kind they use in the bush. The kind that will take down brush as high as your head with trunks as big as your finger. He thas a tidy, conservative's lawn that is manicured frequently. His need for a brush whacker is questionable.

So, believe it or not, I am done complaining about this issue. I keep a pair by the door and don them whenever the noise pollution problem starts climbing up my spine.

It's the human condition that the more irritated you get by something, the more irritated you get by something. I am going to be a better problem solver and not such a complainer. 

We have a dilemma. We love the Blues Fest which is this weekend but the weather forecast shows temps in the 90s. Seriously, we have been at this festival when we have had to go home to get extra clothes, blankets, and hot drinks. Could we be just a little more consistent, Minnesota? (Does this qualify as a rant?)

Regis sent me a link to a great article this morning. 24 Things Women Over 30 Should Wear. It's a great blog. This summarizes her opinion (Swear alert.)

Women in today’s world are hit from all sides. Do this. Wear that. Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Speak softly. Smile. Agree, agree, agree. Assimilate. Shut up. Stay down. The last thing we need is other women telling us what we should and shouldn’t do. Stand up, ladies, and stand together. Don’t be like Kallie Provencher. (Especially don’t be like her.) Wear what you want, do what you want, and support one another! And like all of these fabulous ladies, don’t give a fuck.

I wrote a snarky reply to a meme on Facebook that was critical of Hillary for wearing a $12,000 Armani jacket to talk about inequality. Who cares? When we are talking about the cost of the clothes men wear, then we can talk. But that will be never.

So, it appears that the first woman ever has been nominated to be a candidate for POTUS. Let that sink in for a minute. It should have happened a long time ago. 

And that rape that is in the news. I can't even talk about that.

All of this seems related but I am not sure how. I guess I will leave it to others to put this together.

If you're interested in words, this is good. Misogyny: Does it Mean Hatred or Bias?

Need coffee. And a sense of humor, apparently.

midnight at the oasis

I'm not at the oasis. It's almost 3 a.m. and I can't sleep. I have tried reading...twice...so now I just got up to make a couple of lists and to write on my blog since I have been slacking again.

Regis and I joined a digital camera club and our assignment for the meeting tomorrow night was to take night photos. Regis is much more accomplished at this than me (he can talk f/stop and ISO like a champ) so he coaches me some and I hope I ended with something that won't get me laughed out of the room. 

I took this one at Minnesota Square. What drew me to it was the way the lights shone through the trees and cast an almost golden hue.

I liked the lines and colors in this one. If I were better at editing, or if I had the time to learn it tonight, I would have erased that big, shiny blob in the middle. But I am not and I didn't. So, there it is. Of course, there is the fact that I have been awake all night but that doesn't always make for a well-functioning brain. It will have to do.

This is the bridge over the Minnesota River on Highway 22. I love the color of it and I found the reflection as interesting as the bridge. It wasn't quite dark.

I started reading Louise Erdrich's book, LaRose. It's disturbing but a very good story and her characters are wonderful. Now, if I could just get one of them to come over and conk me on the head so I could sleep.

weekend

We've had a wonderful weekend. Friday night, we had friends over for pizza. It had been raining all day so no time on the patio. Yesterday was beautiful so we took Gus for a long walk, then I went up to visit Betty who is recovering from surgery. As I pulled into the driveway, I got a text from Kathryn that she was at Hobber's on the patio with her daughters, listening to a good band so we joined them for a while. It was so nice when we came home that we fired up the smoker and grilled some chicken wings.

Betty can't do a long car ride today so only Tom will join us for the annual Memorial Day Road Trip. We'll visit the Greenlawn Cemetery in St. Peter, Minnesota's second oldest cemetery, founded in 1854. Greenlawn Cemetery contains graves of missionaries to the Dakota, 13 Civil War veterans and even one War of 1812 veteran, as well as early pioneers. Then on to Union Hill, New Prague, and other stops along the way.Fun day!

today, i'm an author in the dreams of Regis

From an old post that tickled me.

Regis dreamed last night that I wrote a book called In Defense of Inarticulate Home Bodies. The premise of the book was that too many people don't venture out of their own spheres to find information and therefore, are inarticulate home bodies. It was a series of little vignettes. Or vinaigrettes, if you prefer. This is my second dream book, the first being The Party What Started Out as Jumping Around. Quite a body of work I am amassing.  

We are having friends over for some social time at 3:30, which used to be after work when I worked. Which I no longer do. This week, I have done precious little of anything, bad back and all. I did unpack my mom's china from Bavaria. I was afraid if I just hauled it to the basement, it would be there forever. I'm going to have a family dinner and use it...and tell the story.

This came in the mail today. Peter and April's wedding invitation. Regis wanted to know if I was weepy and I said no but I am and I will be. We are so lucky. What a sweet event it will be.

It's been raining and raining and I still managed to get some ferns in the ground. And some of the plants I bought at a nursery out in the wilderness beyond Canby. Seven kids, tiny house, goats, trees growing out of buildings...but lovely people and gorgeous plants for great prices.

One last photo in honor of Memorial Day. Be safe.

3:30 a.m. and awake

I'm not sure what woke me but I started thinking about my weekly menu and grocery list. I planned to buy groceries this morning while Regis has an appointment and when I tried to make the list yesterday, the HYVee site was not being very cooperative. I ended up with a very messy list which drives me bonkers. So, I got out of bed and re-did my list on an old template. It works better because I have it organized according to the store lay-out. No writing on the back of an envelope for this chick.

For dinner, we grilled big portobella mushrooms stuffed with Andouille sausage, peppers, onions, and cheese. Tasty. I have had a hankering for Mexican food lately. Probably triggered by some great food in restaurants. We discovered we loved the fajita lettuce wraps at the Boulder Tap House. And Thursday night, I had a grilled shrimp and cilantro salad with pico de gallo at La Terraza in Mankato. Delicious.

Yesterday was very busy and by the time I had finished all my chores and taken a bath, I was tired.

A few weeks ago, we took Gus for a long walk in the woods along the river. It was a beautiful day and I loved the way the light played off the water and the trees. Turns out, I had the white balance set wrong on the camera but I still like the way the pictures turned out.

Gus likes to run back in the woods and occasionally will eat vegetation. When we got home from the walk, Gus started to behave strangely, staring into space and tipping slightly when he stood. We watched him for a while, then got worried that he had had a stroke or something. Regis took him for a walk to see if he would straighten out but he showed no interest in his ball, other dogs, or people. We decided to take him to the vet.

Denny examined him, said everything seemed fine, and diagnosed him as somnambulant dog. Regis asked what would cause that and Denny said he has only seen two cases. One where a dog ate a Valium and the other where the dog had consumed marijuana. He must have gotten into some weed back in the woods. Weird experience. To the tune of $240 dollars minus a $60 dollar discount for being a regular customer.

Our dog. The doper.

graduation

Thursday night I went to the graduation ceremony for my future daughter-in-law, April. She graduated from South Central College with an Associate of Applied Science degree in Community Social Service.

We met up at their apartment in North Mankato where I was mightily entertained by Zoey. She did handstands and sang songs and asked me why I was old. Then she guessed my age as 10. I laughed and laughed. She is a hoot.

We had quite a crowd. April's grandpa, Joe. Her mom, Kelly. Her sister, Erin. Friends Scott and Jackie. Tiffany and Elliot. Steve and Brenda. Grandma Dorothy. Kevin and Rachel. What a nice group of folks.

I've been to three SCC graduations now and they are always so much fun. There is plenty of pomp but there is also cheering, air horns, lots of interruptions for photos, and obvious pride from the graduates and their families.

As you would expect, the list of graduates (which I read from beginning to end) contained a lot of names I could neither pronounce nor spell. The thing I found interesting is that there were so many grads who claimed other countries as their home. Immigrants new enough to this country that they still call the old country home? I found: Ceylon, Somalia, West Arsi, Ethiopia, Cameroon, and Mexico.

We were all so proud of April. I am always weepy at these kinds of things and this was no different. I cried when I saw her name in the program. I cried when I took a picture of April with Peter. I cried during Pomp and Circumstance. I cried when they started lining up to receive their diplomas. I cried the most when Zoey saw her mom and yelled out, "Mommy, I love you!" A big old cry fest, it was.

It was a lovely ceremony and a wonderful evening. Our big, old messy family. Loving each other and supporting April in her accomplishment. 

a morning at the lake

Not really, but it sure feels like it. A sturdy breeze and very cool temps. Bright blue sky. I can almost hear the walleye chop.

I have been busy.

Last night Regis started asking me about essential oils. Did I have this or that. Did I have coconut oil. Did I have bee's wax. Yes. Yes. Yes. But I finally had to ask what he was planning to make because these were unusual questions for him. Beer bong he said. What? I said, you are not. I misheard...beard balm is what he said. It was a good one.

So, this morning, I made the beard balm which, forever after will be referred to as beer bong. Then I went up to the Cox House Heritage Plant Sale. I have always wanted to go but never made it. I made some great scores.

Anemone

Maidenhair fern from a ravine on Don Gustavson's farm on 169.

Angel Wing Begonia

I stopped at a garage sale just down the street and bought a sheet pan, some craft things for the kids, and two Longaberger baskets for five bucks each. And they have liners. Holy crap. Do you know what these babies go for brand new? I felt like I was committing a highway robbery.

I tried to take some flower pictures for my class this morning but we are kind of between flowers...bulbs are bye bye and the other things haven't really started yet. Then I spotted the Jack-in-the-Pulpit. It was a difficult shot because there isn't room in my garden to get down low enough but I like the way it turned out.

That's it for now. I am going to dye my hair lavender and make some body butter. Make it a good day!

a quick blog post this morning

I'm taking a class called Digital Photography. I had homework this week to take photos of flowers, to fill the frame with the single flower, and to try to compose the photo artistically while blurring the background to get rid of distractions. I think I achieved that with these. I will practice more.

It looks like another cloudy and overcast day. We have had about 2.5 inches of rain which is good for trees and grass but tiresome for a guy's disposition.

I had another night of insomnia. A friend recommended a book which was compelling reading but creepy scary. I kept trying to read to the end (in one day?) so that I could have some resolution of all these gruesome circumstances.

My very sweet future daughter-in-law graduates from SCC today so I will join my son to watch her walk in her cap and gown. A proud moment for her and for her family.

My brain is a little fuzzy.

sleepless in st. peter

It's 3:30 am and I have been awake since 12:30. I have to be awake by 6 to head to Mankato with Regis. So ends a restless night of sleep. Maybe I have to consider resetting my internal clock again.

I finished one book, I Hate to Leave This Beautiful Place by Howard Norman, and started another by Annie Dillard. Reading will usually do the trick. Not tonight.

Insomnia. I hate it.

I finally got up to look at pictures, my interest being piqued by my digital photography class last night. Regis had tried to teach about the camera for years but I was only ever interested in the automatic settings. Now, I am being forced (by choice) to learn about F-stop and aperture and ISO. The teacher is very good but he talks fast and moves fast so it is some work to keep up with him.

These are the photos I was thinking about when I finally decided to get out of bed.

I took these last fall right about dusk. The sky was beautiful but not this beautiful and vibrant. When I saw the photos, there were things I had not seen with my naked eye. I asked the instructor why that was and he wasn't sure. He said most often, it is the other way. You see things with your eyes that the camera doesn't see...because our eyes are binocular and the camera is not. Hmmm.

Woody decided to get out of bed and keep me company. He loves the early morning hours and is currently perched right in front of my keyboard.

I was having lunch with a friend today when I got a call from the local hospital. I had applied for a very part-time job there as the weekend receptionist in the Physical Therapy Department. With their collaboration with OFC in Mankato, they are doing more him and knee replacements and consequently do more weekend therapy. The job would entail some light office stuff and chatting with patients. Yup, I could do that. My employment history has been interesting since I retired.

I just had a happy surprise. As I was thinking through my day, I thought I had things to do at 8 am, 10:15 am, 1 pm, and 3 pm. Turns out I was mistaken...nothing after the 10:15. Yippee! Here's to slothitude this afternoon!

AWOL

I checked my blog this morning and discovered, much to my chagrin, that I have not written anything here since March. In fact, I have written only ten posts since January 1st. I have a bunch of unpublished drafts that I will probably release back into the wild, but one of my goals for May is to become a regular blogger again.

There have been some changes in my life. I lost my job at Lone Star in December. I quit volunteering at the Treaty Site in January. I have applied for a job at River's Edge Hospital as a weekend receptionist in the Physical Therapy Department. I started taking a digital photography class and I signed up to take Blues Harmonica and Beginning Drawing. I started going for walks with Regis again and I am going to take yoga and ballet again this summer.

I spent as much time on the patio and in the garden as has been possible since the beginning of March. The weather has been weird...periods of almost summer like weather with intermittent cold spells. Maybe it's always like that.

I have a pile of cards and gifts on the table to take to the PO when it quits raining. I am so proud of the myself for getting the last two babies in our family gifts before their second birthdays. Ta da! Yay, me. Actually got them within a month of their birth. Also sent an early graduation gift.

So, there you go.

dossiers and horse manure

In the last week, we have renewed the tabs on our little, red truck. We have taken out a small loan to pay our bill with the IRS. I have opened a new account at my bank so I can replace my Google Wallet card with a debit card. I bet we have shown picture IDs ten times, signed document after document saying that the number we wrote down is truly our SS number, produced proof of insurance for almost everything but the dog, and carried home a ream of paper's worth of copies. I had to go to the court house three times before I had the right paper.

I am going to start carrying a dossier, if a dossier is a thing you can carry.

I did a google search for images of dossier and couldn't find anything but this. Maybe a dossier is a metaphorical file and not something one carries.

At the bank, Tim told us about his trip to New Orleans and how odiferous Canal Street was. Regis put into google the question, "Why does New Orleans stink?" and got this as an answer.

This town smells, depending on where you are (or “where y’at,” rather) and what time of year it is, New Orleans might smell like horse manure, cigarettes, urine, dead fish, marijuana, vomit, diesel fumes, fried chicken, Confederate jasmine, old wood, coffee, Angel’s Trumpet flowers, mown grass, mossy trees, and sweet olive.

 That Google can be something.

peaceful morning

Elliot is off to school, Regis is sleeping, and I am drinking coffee and watching the grackles, juvenile delinquents of the bird world, marauding through my bird feeders,

Elliot read books at the table while he ate breakfast. He had a bagel with cream cheese and our cat is currently obsessed with dairy products. In order to keep Woodrow away from Elliot's bagel, I treated him to a tiny dish of milk on his cat tree. Apparently it was too much for his tender tummy because he drank it all, then turned and projectile vomited all over the floor. He just missed a basket full of my shoes, a fact for which I am grateful.

Can you see Gus's nose peeking out from under Elliot's arm? Not sure if he wants to hear about manners at school or if he's looking for a handout.

It's St. Patrick's Day and we aren't celebrating with a big party as we have from time to time. We are planning to go to the parade, have corned beef and cabbage and Irish soda bread, and dress in green. It is going to be chilly which means I can break out the red wig and big green hat.

family

My sweet seven year old grandson, Elliot, who has been living with us since January 1st, has been asking a lot of questions lately about family relationships. Who is my (Estle) dad? Is he still alive? Who is my dad's (Eric's) dad? How do I know that? Then he asks about his mom. And his mom's mom. I have to tell him we don't know. I have to tell him about the pain of adoption and loss of family and how we all love each other anyway. He cries and I cry. His sweet face worrying over these relationships is heartbreaking. I wish I had an easy answer. I wish it didn't involve human heartache and sadness and a lifetime of loss and anguish. I wish I had a better answer.

Update
My friend, Joanne, wrote this comment. It's easy, in the night when I am tired and the gray-faced men march around the bed to feel sad and overwhelmed. This is a good reminder.

Along with those stories are the tales of great joy, love, acceptance, and triumph over hardship. Altogether, all of these stories make up your family quilt, and the good far outweighs the bad. Elliot is surrounded by love. He will come through this, and so will you.

Elliot's questions and emotions have brought some good conversations with his mom about the importance of family, no matter how you come into one.

Google Wallet: My review

Regis and I both have Google Wallet cards and have recommended it to friends and even people who see us use it in stores. You can easily transfer money from a bank account to your Google Wallet card and it becomes a debit card. Money has always transferred almost instantly. Until now. Last Tuesday, Regis put $700 on my card. I tried to use it several times over the next few days only to have it declined. We have been on the phone with customer service. I was told I would have the money by Friday at 2. Nope. We have been given several reasons for this...most of them blaming someone else. This afternoon, I still do not have that money. Back in the 80s, it only took three days for a paper check to clear. This is ridiculous. Oh, the solution is to draw the funds from my bank's debit card, earning Google 3% which on $700 is $21. We do this every month so that's $252 dollars a year. Not going to do that, Google.

two months into this

It's March 1st and Regis and I are two months into caring for our grandson, Elliot full-time. Somehow, we are making it work even though we always said we couldn't do it. I have all kinds of inspirational messages tacked onto the refrigerator and other vertical surfaces. Reminders to be calm and things will work out for the best. I love this one.

As you can imagine, in the beginning, there was some stress. This was a good reminder. We weren't used to cooking three meals a day, getting a little kid off to school, remembering to do homework, and making sure he had clean clothes in the morning. Every week, we get better at this.

These are some of my favorite pictures from the last few months. You can see it has not all been stress and chaos...there have been some very sweet moments.

Alex turned 7 on the 19th of February and Elliot on the 27th. We celebrated at our house and it was an adventure. This happened on Friday afternoon.

I was leaving Family Fresh when this balloon came off my cart and flew across the parking lot. A nice, young employee ran to grab it. He gave it back to me and I thanked him. I turned around and my cart full of buns, birthday cupcakes, and my purse was rolling rapidly toward 169. It could have been a disaster but he ran and caught that, too!

These two entries were on my Facebook memories today. Good to remember as we woke up to three inches of new snow!

2010

Met Bob Bergstrom at Triple E's Cafe in Arlington for dinner. Quite a hoot of a place. An aproned and baseball capped cook came out of the kitchen with his guitar and sang happy birthday to a little dude who was celebrating with cupcakes and his shrieking baby sister. Good stories and laughs with an old friend. A good way to celebrate the first of March.

Garrison Keillor said that God made March so people who don't drink know what a hang-over feels like. Does that mean we think it's spring but it isn't and we're tortured with more snow and cold? I want to be more optimistic than that. Spring is coming! Happy March!

That is all for today, my friends. Make it a good month!

so the stress doesn't kill me

I woke up this morning with a new lease on life. I got myself organized for the week, planned the cooking I'll do this afternoon, and I went to the gym. I used to go to the gym five days a week and now I wonder when I stopped...and why.

I made a lovely lunch out of salad greens and my left-over salmon from last night. It was overcooked but the salad fixed that problem. 

So, taking care of myself. First priority. I can't help anyone else if I don't take care of myself.

a dream

Regis had a dream last night that he was having lunch today with Wahoo McDaniel. He didn't even know who that was so had to check Wikipedia. They say he was a was a Choctaw-Chickasaw Native American who achieved fame as a professional American football player and later as a professional wrestler. Turns out he died in 2002, so if Regis is meeting him for lunch that is not a good sign.

My intentions were so good. I meant to start 2016 with a Whole Thirty and a yoga challenge. Then due to complex problem within our family, we have had a six-year-old staying with us since right after the 1st of the year. Out the window with yoga, the whole thirty, the Marie Kondo method of de-cluttering. In with organizing appointments, school visits, toys, small clothes, homework. It is a test for an old head, believe me. It was the same anxiety I felt when I first had an infant to care for...I had dreams about forgetting to feed her or putting her in the trunk by mistake. I finally had to get a binder and a couple of notebooks and write everything down.

Things are going better and this may be shorter term than we anticipated.