end-o-week

It's a good thing I have stopped watching the news. The amount I get by reading is almost enough to put a guy over the edge some days. I was reading about the floods today and caught a site that had pictures of the tornado in Parkersburg. Great story about a dog named Chance who was reunited with his owner after nine days. They found him sitting behind the wheel of a Pontiac Bonneville in the line of wrecked cars. He was very happy to see them. Then the news of the death of Tim Russert and the clip of Tom Brokaw announcing it.

On my way home from work today I was moved to do some yard chores. By the time I got here, thankfully, the mood had passed. Peter put the furniture back after the carpet cleaning so you can walk through the house now instead of leaping things in a series of single bounds. Is that a ragged segue?

We stopped at MGM this afternoon and noticed that the price of craft beers has gone way up, thanks in part to the price of hops which has quadrupled in price in the last year. Barley's gone up, too. Harp is almost ten bucks a six pack. Good thing we like Schell's.

We haven't done our weekly shopping for a while so tonight Regis perused the HyVee ad while I made the menu and the list. We're trying to eat healthier so we have more chicken than pork and beef.

I better post this before I forget what I'm doing. On to the weekend...

assman

We went to the MC in Rochester today so Regis could have a "procedure" as they delicately call it. I sat in the waiting room and listened to CNN for more hours than I care to count. Man, everything is outrageous to those folks on CNN. I suppose if you have to provide news for 24 hours, eventually you have to scrape the bottom of the barrel and act excited about it.

One of their journalists (is that what they're called?) continued all afternoon to say that they had "pitchers" of the devastation in Iowa. That may be a colloquialism but it sounds pretty rube-ish on CNN.

I finally went in the hall and sat there because it was quieter and the people coming off the elevator were entertaining.

I was amazed at how fluent in English the people are who don't speak it as a first language. If I had to go to a foreign country to see a doctor, I'd be drawing pictures to communicate.

Everything went fine for Regis and they used less of the drugs so he was coherent when he came out instead of zombie-like. I gave him a ride to the parking ramp in a wheelchair but after he got his land legs he was fine, awake all the way home, and hungry. Always a good sign.

There is water standing everywhere near Rochester. It looks like rice paddies instead of corn fields. I talked to a farmer in the E room who told me all about how crops survive in wet years or dry years depending on the land's elevation. He was a character.

All in all, not a bad day considering. The MC is really a beautiful place and so accommodating to visitors. I recommend again, Helen Clapesattle's book The Doctors Mayo.

floods

I talked to my old friend, Jane, just a few minutes ago. She lives near Cedar Rapids, Iowa where they're experiencing horrible flooding. She was evacuated from work today, the schools are full of flood refugees, and all the bridges going into downtown Cedar Rapids are closed. They're also having historic flooding in Des Moines and other towns along the Cedar River. Her voice brought back memories of the tornado and one of my most vivid images...the sight of people sleeping on cots at the Armory. So much bad weather this spring.

There is a report on one of the state newspaper's websites of cows flying through the air on 94 by Fergus Falls. That seems a little preposterous but it happened in Twister so how do I know. It could happen. All I do know is that on Sunday, I drove on that road. Uh oh. I think those Dakotans make their vodka out of potatoes and maybe that's the explanation.

Regis and I rarely undertake home improvement projects. They just don't interest us much which is probably why the neighbor (not the neighbor with the red trailer) wants to paint our garage. Today we ordered a new kitchen light fixture. Since we moved in here, we've had the two round fluorescent bulbs that have probably been there since the 50s when the house was built. I wouldn't have had any great desire to change that except they burned out and we can get a 15 dollar energy star rebate from smmpa on a new one. I did a google search and I can't believe there aren't pictures of those fixtures on the web. Those are antiques!

Regis tried driving 65 mph all the way home on Sunday and saved 15% on our gas mileage. I know we sound cheap but that's not it. It just seems to make sense to conserve resources when we can. I talked to Arvin, our trusty mechanic, today and he said 55 is about the optimum speed. He's noticed lots more people driving slower on 169 between St. Peter and Mankato since the price of gas went up. thanks to Jimmy Carter for that.

I read this headline in the paper today:

40 rude traveling salespeople evicted from Moorhead motel

but I read it as:

40 nude traveling salespeople evicted from Moorhead motel

That's enough for today. Tomorrow we motor to Rochester so I'll be OOT for a while.

a happening in the neighborhood

In an attempt to document significant happenings in the neighborhood, Regis has photographed, through the picture window, the maiden voyage of my neighbor's lunch wagon going off to serve homemade fare to the masses.

Will this artifact fit in a plastic sleeve?

thinking

I've been sitting here thinking about how knowing you have an audience changes the way you write. I put a counter on my blog (way down at the bottom) about the 1st of May and since then, I've had about 1800 readers. Of course, some of them were me. Smile. But I didn't drive it up that far, believe me. I just make lots of editorial changes after the fact. Back when this was just a personal rant, I didn't think about it much. It was just a place to write. Now that people mention once in a while that they read this or that, or I start telling a story and someone will say, "I read that on your blog," it's a little weird. It's like the internal censor. The monkey mind. The little guy that sits on your shoulder: Don't write about this. Don't say this about that. I've always been, let's say circumspect, but this feels different.

I heard someone on the radio the other day talking about how people in the midst of life troubles, air their dirty laundry in their blogs. God forbid. Some things you just don't talk about in public. But how do you talk about anything important in your life without being too personal?

I see that the two women who claim to have had intimate relations with a former president, are making their tawdry tales available on the internet for a buck 99 a pop. I would think the price would tell you something about the quality. Hell, you can't buy a comic book for that price. That is just too tacky. Of course, they claim they want to get the truth out there. Uh huh. I bet.

flogging my brain cells

This is a picture of me on Monday. At 8 a.m., I'll do the presentation for my portfolio. Someone has written competencies that are pretty broad and things I'm sure I can do, but I can't for the life of me, think of "artifacts" to demonstrate it. I feel like I get dumber as this goes on and I'm sure that on Monday it will be like a parakeet trying to get a license to be a director of special education. Tweet tweet. I worked on my portfolio for hours this afternoon and finally, that was it. My brain cells were flogged.

Regis is having a procedure done at the MC on Thursday so he's on a clear liquid diet all week. As if that's not restrictive enough, he can't even eat red or purple clear liquid. No red Jello, no orange Popsicles, no grape Kool-Aid. I think by the end of the day on Thursday, he ought to be ready to send all the green Jello and beef broth on the planet into space. We're going to leave early to make a stop at Cabela's on 35 to pick up a couple of weird folding chairs. After a week of this kind of eating, it would take something more than a lawn chair to get me to stop anywhere.

We had a dry day today which means the lawn mower armies are out. We're going to compensate for that with warnings of torrential rain in the next two days with warnings of flash flooding. Oh great. So we not only have current long-grass mowing but we have preventative mowing. My little battery-powered lawn mower purrs like a kitten. A couple kids walked by the other day and gave it the funniest look. I guess they couldn't figure out why it wasn't belching black smoke.

I was driving to work today on Minnesota Avenue, taking my time and trying to remember to call in the gas prices. More on that below. At the police station corner, a red car came onto the highway with a police car close behind. The red car passed the cars by going into the north bound lane, followed soon by another police car. Lights and sirens. They disappeared down 169. I've seen COPS and I'm sure this was going to be a full felony stop.

Regis checks gas prices daily and enters them into a database on minnesotagasprices.com. They give points for logging in and reporting and so far, he has 502,000 points and is in 51st place. It's like a community...people leave messages, report life events of members, and compete for points. Everybody needs a hobby and when gas costs $4.00 a gallon, this is an interesting one.

We're watching National Treasure (the second one). I gave it 3 stars about half an hour ago and it just keeps going and going. I might lower it to 2 stars if it doesn't get over soon. Endless action, or all hat and no head as they say in Texas.

mowing grass

My exercising friend was out of town yesterday so I decided to thwart the riding lawnmower neighbor and mow with my own little mower. It didn't really need cutting in most places so it was hard to tell where I had been, so I kind of went in gentle circles. Except for the places where I vacuumed. I realize this is not the acceptable gas-cutting form. The new grass in the back yard is coming up nicely. It's more like woods back there than lawn, though, so it's hard to keep grass growing in the shade.

I'm going to have to get back to this later. I have too many things in my head to write.

yikes

I looked out the bedroom window to the south this afternoon. Since my neighbor has been cutting a wide swath through our front yard with his wide-deck rider, we don't even look over there. I haven't had much time to worry about weeding and the mosquitoes are a deterrent to going anywhere outside so all in all there has been some yard neglect. Today I get a look and the grass is about knee-high and has gone to seed. Lovely. Thanks to all the rain and the little bit of sun we've had for this nice crop of sheep-worthy grass. Apartment living is looking better all the time.

I have one week to finish my last and final portfolio for my last and final license. I've been taking classes at MSU for 38 years and frankly, I'm about done in with that BS. I'm ready to abandon that perch and let the horse out of the barn. The true fact is that I've spent a lot of money on education that hasn't really gotten me too far. I've grieved in different ways over the last three years about my inability to get a different job and I'm ready to let that balloon go, too. Harrumph and all of that. I think I'll celebrate on the 16th...finished my new license before I retired.

I'm reading a book by Katherine McMahon that's kind of a 16th century bodice ripper: The Alchemist's Daughter. A great dark and gothic sort of background and the bodice ripping is entertaining, but I wouldn't recommend it too highly. The main character is a bit of a dolt. I've been hard to please lately so I'd appreciate recommendations.

Off to bed.

weekend with the family

After all the anxiety about the long trip, all the failed travel plans, and all the angst, Regis and I made it to Otter Tail Lake about 6 on Friday and we had a good time. Here's a list of the attendees and their place of origin:
Mom- Canby
Bruce (brother) and Jody- Fargo
Cybil (daughter of Bruce) and Shawn- Ohio
two daughters of Shawn and Cybil- Ohio
Evynn and Darby (daughters of Cybil and Shawn)- Ohio
Pat (brother) and Helen- Luverne
Amanda (daughter of Pat)- St. Paul
Teresa and Regis
David (brother) and Joan- St. Paul
Tiernen (son of David)- St. Paul
Jeremy (son of David)- Fargo
Deb (cousin) and Larry- Arizona
Steve (brother)and Michelle- Fargo
Nicole (daughter of Steve) and Jason- Moorhead
Caleb, Duncan, Ian, Ezra, and Chloe (Steve's)- Fargo
That's a total of 28. Pretty good turn-out and the resort, Barky's, was lovely. We managed a few hours in the sun, a potluck, a few fishing outings, a pontoon ride, a trip to the candy store in Battle Lake, and a ride around the lake. We had breakfast at Betty's Pantry (potato pancakes and wild rice omelets) this morning and we all headed our separate ways. A good time was had by all.

I thought I had learned my lesson when it comes to sunburn. Yesterday morning was cool, breezy, and only partly cloudy. I should not have been in the sun that long because today I have a rousing sunburn on the top of my head, my face, and my chest. I feel like I burned my eyeballs. Ouch.

We left home in such a hurry on Friday that we made several mistakes in packing. Regis only brought the pants he was wearing, I didn't have sunglasses or sunscreen (who knew you'd need THAT stuff?), and we forgot the camera. So, no pictures. Mom will send some later, maybe, and I'll post those.

Back to work tomorrow. Ugh.

whoops, not yet

I thought I would be on the way to Ottertail Lake by noon. See the green arrow on the map to the left. Cousin Deb called this morning and said their flight was delayed until this afternoon, apparently a result of last night's bad weather. So....the don't leave AZ until almost noon meaning I can't meet up with them until 4:30. The alternatives are that I go to Canby and ride with mom. Whoops, she's leaving at noon. Regis, my kind and caring husband, has already packed and is ready to head out as soon as he punches out today. He doesn't want me getting in the car and traveling all that way alone because he knows I'm half loony during car travel. Besides it's windy beyond description today and that agitates me. And have I mentioned that I can't seem to get my estrogen filled? I've been to the pharmacy four times and have called the clinic three times. I don't think they realize with what they are dealing, attempting not to end a sentence with a preposition. Regis says the big cost to me will be a bag of jelly beans and a stop at Culver's. I have a feeling there may be some beer involved at some point, too.

whew

Made it through the night with no disastrous weather. We got some wind about midnight but that's it. My last waking thought was to wonder aloud if we would hear the weather radio. We have two in close proximity to the bedroom so Regis assured me we would.

I'll be out of blog touch for a few days while I travel to Ottertail Lake. Maybe I'll be able to post a few pictures and stories on Monday.

weather update: PDS

PDS (Particularly Dangerous Situation) Tornado Watch posted for southwestern MN until 1 am Friday....does not include the metro area. Isolated storms near Worthington, Windom and Pipestone may produce violent, long-lasting tornadoes.

Here's some terrifying stuff on the Weather Channel. It's on the right side of the page, called Raw Video: Tornado Rips Apart House.

june 5 the garden

The fat frog and my new rhubarb leaf birdbath.













The rooster guards the walk.













I love the color of the cheddar pinks!











Look at these poppies waiting to burst into bloom.









We're in a tornado watch tonight and the forecasters are bleating ominous reports everywhere you look. Natural disaster predicted. High risk for plains states. Regis wants me to watch a security video film from a bank in Iowa where they had an F5 tornado. Yeah, I want to see that. Check out the blog of Paul Douglas is you want your pants scared off your ass.

Rain in Biblical proportions

Oh lovely...I stopped downtown to get a sweatshirt for my trip and the sky started to look like it was going to thunder down on us. We get nervous in St. Peter when the skies get dark. One lady was hanging out the back door of a shop with a weather radio in her hand. Here's what the NWS has in mind for us today, Miles: A raincoat, an umbrella, but better yet, stay indoors.

FLASH FLOOD WATCH FOR MUCH OF CENTRAL AND SOUTH CENTRAL MINNESOTA
AND MUCH OF WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN FROM 400 PM THIS AFTERNOON
THROUGH 600 AM FRIDAY MORNING...

A STRONG AREA OF LOW PRESSURE WILL LIFT NORTHEAST OUT OF THE
CENTRAL PLAINS INTO THE UPPER MIDWEST LATER TODAY AND TONIGHT.
THIS SYSTEM COMBINED WITH A VIGOROUS UPPER LEVEL JET WILL PRODUCE
A LARGE SWATH OF THUNDERSTORMS OVER THE UPPER MIDWEST. THESE
STORMS ARE LIKELY TO PRODUCE REPEATED BOUTS OF HEAVY RAINS WITH
RAINFALL RATES EXCEEDING OVER AN INCH PER HOUR.

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN CHANHASSEN MINNESOTA HAS ISSUED A
FLASH FLOOD WATCH FOR MUCH OF CENTRAL AND SOUTH CENTRAL MINNESOTA
AND WEST CENTRAL WISCONSIN WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM 400 PM THIS
AFTERNOON UNTIL 600 AM FRIDAY MORNING. THE WATCH WAS MAINLY WEST
OF A LINE FROM LADYSMITH...EAU CLAIRE TO AUSTIN. SOME MAJOR CITIES
INCLUDED IN THE WATCH ARE ALEXANDRIA...SAINT CLOUD...WILLMAR...
MANKATO...REDWOOD FALLS...FARIBAULT...MINNEAPOLIS...SAINT
PAUL...NEW RICHMOND AND RICE LAKE.

June 4: Dad's birthday

Yesterday, June 4th, was my Dad's birthday. I meant to post this picture last night but I was on the porch and my pictures were in here. He's been gone a couple years now but I can still hear his laugh and see his face. He would have loved this weekend at the lake.

On another note, we have turbulent weather ahead. Here's the forecast from PD at the Trib:

Storms bubbling up across Iowa may spread into the metro area and much of southern MN by Thursday AM, making for a slow and soggy AM rush hour.

Moderate risk of severe storms, hail, violent straight-line winds and isolated tornadoes on Thursday over central and southern Minnesota...I do expect 1-3 tornado touch-downs Thursday statewide.

When do we catch a break? More storms Friday, another round late Saturday...Sunday should be drier and sunnier.

My neighbor with the riding lawnmower was on my front lawn, right outside my bedroom window, mowing our grass last night at 9:30. With a halogen headlight on his mower. I am going to put a stop to this crazy business. Who needs that coming by the bedroom window when you're trying to sleep?

Off to the races.

goat names

I was the namer of another goat. I seem to have a knack for it and this time, suggested the name Moonshine Yarrow for a goat who needed a Y name. Yarrow is a plant that can become a troublesome weed in the garden. Probably the same with goats.

This is probably one of the most stressful weeks of the school year. We do curriculum writing and people are frazzled and it's enough to give you the screaming fantods. I can't believe it's only Wednesday.

I don't know why the weather men do this, but they have published, in the newspaper to be read tonight, a warning about tornadic activity tomorrow in our area. I believe that could dissipate in the next 12 hours so there isn't a reason to alarm people tonight. Really. Do I need to spend today worrying about that? I have enough weather issues. Miles: Stay home, keep the weather alert radio on, and keep your weather eye peeled, buddy.

Betty and I did our twenty minutes of exercise today. We tried to think of active hobbies we could pursue but we couldn't think of a one besides lawn golf and croquet. Regis wrote up a little weight lifting regime for us to do. He actually asked if we wanted something that required reclining on the floor. I gave him a sideways glare and said no, as I wanted to retain some hope of being vertical at the end.

travel anxiety

I'm going away for the weekend. I know some people would be excited and see it as a way to relax, but not me. I have a bad case of the flaming fantods. I can hardly finish making plans, I'm obsessed with all the things that could go wrong here and there, I can't even think about packing, and I'm a wreck. I suppose you could view this as a problem I should think about resolving but I don't see it that way. I'm not at all distressed by people who like to go away and I think they ought to just do it to their heart's content.

I noticed on my way out of the driveway that we have a burgeoning rabbit population in my garden. I used to cuss the neighborhood cats but now I see they served a purpose when they laid waste to the bunny nests. That's a gruesome thought, eh? Once in a while, a mentally challenged rabbit would make a nest in our backyard which is the size of a large postage stamp. What, she couldn't smell the dog? The nest always came to an abrupt and bad end. The rabbits were sniffing around my lilies today so I'll have to get out the putrid egg spray again to dissuade them.

Regis stumbled onto a website today which I won't print here because I don't want to disparage anyone's religious beliefs. But this site claims that it will send out an email to those you left behind six days after you are wafted up into the great beyond. I say this with all due incredulity. This is not an individual wafting but a group waft, if you get my drift. One would assume that the person sending out this mass email was not worthy of the waft himself, if this is truly the case. Of course, if a person had the time and the inclination, it would probably be very frightening to see just what kind of nonsense is out there as fact.

I'm going to go about my trip planning and hope for the best. Here's a Billy Collins poem for the road:

The Willies

"Public restrooms give me the willies"
—ad for a disinfectant

There is no known cure for them,
unlike the heeby-jeebies
or the shakes

which Russian vodka and a hot bath
will smooth out.

The drifties can be licked,
though the vapors often spell trouble.

The whips-and-jangles
go away in time. So do the fantods.
And good company will put the blues
to flight

and do much to relieve the flips,
the quivers and the screamies.

But the willies are another matter.

Anything can give them to you:
electric chairs, raw meat, manta rays,
public restrooms, a footprint,
and every case of the willies
is a bad one.

Some say flow with them, ride them out,
but this is useless advice
once you are in their grip.

There is no way to get on top
of the willies. Valium
is ineffective. Hospitals
are not the answer.

Keeping still
and emitting thin, evenly spaced
waves of irony
may help

but don't expect miracles:
the willies are the willies.
-Billy Collins

observations on being busy

I've always been a great sitter and a champion napper. It's probably had some ill-effects for me health-wise, but for the most part it's been a lifestyle I have enjoyed. Not to say that once in a while I don't appreciate going to bed weary and muscle-sore, but most of the time, I enjoy not doing that.

I've embarked on a eating healthier and exercising regime. I call it a regime because I view it sort of like one of those evil dictator regimes. This is not something I enjoy, believe me, and don't try to tell me I will. Betty (another great sitter) and I have decided to exercise for 20 minutes three times a week. I know, I know, it isn't exactly something that would be endorsed by Jack Lalane, but it works for us. We've also decided on weekends when we get together for our grilling escapades, we will play either croquet or goofy golf (left) rather than reclining in a lawn chair in the shade. Well, at our age, did you think it would be handball?

The eating healthier part of it is only in the form of saying no to the really gross things I would usually eat without thinking, like fruit slices (not real fruit...the gummy things that come in garish colors), cookies out of the freezer, and french fries from fast food places. Give me some time.

I realized on my way home that I have little dirty spots in my car from the guts of mosquitoes that have been unlucky enough to follow me into the Beetle. A clean car is also not one of my important life values. I have a neighbor who has a feather duster in his garage and dusts off his car when he drives it in there. I will go through the car wash when the salt starts to get on my clothes in the spring, but mostly I spend little time thinking about car cleaning, inside or out.

Isn't it funny what people spend their time on? I'm not saying my things are the right things because I'm sure the anal retentives of the world think they're right, too. LOL Some people would rather die than have the dust under their beds that I pulled out from under mine yesterday but I don't care. Neither of us have dust allergies and some peopel in the world live in houses with dirt floors.

I learned this week that some people can text message through their pants pockets and the record number of text messages in a month is 15,000. I'm going to do the math now, with a calculator, and the result is 500 a day. I guess if I can write this kind of drivel on a blog, I shouldn't think disparaging thoughts about people who write 4COL and AWLTP all day. Check out this world's largest list of chat acronyms and text message shorthand. Who thinks of this stuff? It's like a new language!

That's enough of all the news that's fit to print today.

sunday

We had a great, productive Sunday that ended with a nice sit around the grill while Regis cooked a corned beef and some sweet potatoes.

We got up early to go buy groceries. We hardly ever go to Mankato anymore so there are a few errands to do when do finally go. I needed a pillow at Target and we wanted to buy a few more grill accessories at Home Depot. The one thing I didn't get that I should have was a grill pan for vegetables. We wanted to cook onions on the grill but discovered they are prone to drop through the grate.

I was tired by the time I took a shower (mosquito spray is necessary now) and got into my clean bed. I had borrowed some books from Betty: she took me into her library and handed me things and gave me a little review as we went. I took home six books. Last night as I looked them over, trying to decide which one would be first, I realized I had to books that were exactly the same. She apparently bought two identical books, then gave them both to me, and neither of of us noticed. I wonder if she read it twice. The ironic thing is the title is: Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman.

Off to work. More later.