Fun with Dick and Jane

A weekend of debauchery. At least as much debauchery as old people can muster. We went to the Brew Fest Friday night with Tom and Betty which was fun, but crowded, loud, and stimulating. We saw Reverend Raven and the Chain Smokin' Altar Boys and we enjoyed them. We loved Lamont Cranston, a midwest blues band that's been around since we were all young. The big act, the Guess Who was marginal and we left after three songs. We went to McGuff's Irish Pub and had a pint of beer served in a plastic cup. Blasphemy.

Yesterday, the party bus (piloted by Bob with co-pilot Young Regis) picked us up at 3:30. We headed to the Brew Fest where the crowds were much lighter and we had a table in the shade. Let's just say we sampled many beers. In general we liked the old favorites, Finnegans and Schells' Dark and Boulevard Wheat. We also liked the classic Kato beer. We weren't fond of the sweet drinks, the hard cider and the flavored beer. We're purists when it comes to beer.

We had a great time watching the crowd. None of us are fashion mavens but I tell you what. The What Not to Wear folks would have a heyday at this event: old women in plunging necklines and short shorts, shirtless men who should not be shirtless in public, lumpy folks in tight clothes. John Gorka says what's pleasant in the darkness is plain scary in the light.

Our pilot and co-pilot provided an interesting ride. The van has almost two hundred thousand miles on it which makes for a few holes in the floor, not the best suspension, and a feeling like being propelled down the road in a tin can. It has no AC so the windows are open and your hair blows straight up. They played music of the day, lots of Guess Who and classic rock, and tried their best to rile up the old people. They looked like the Blues Brothers. Reg would jump out and open the door for us at all stops. It added to the adventure and the fun.

We ended the day at Betty and Tom's for dinner. Tom made rice pilaf and I made chicken wings and ribs. A fine ending to a great weekend.

This week had better be over

I finally made it out of work about 12:30, picked up the dog at the groomer and came home. I decided to go the liquor store before I changed my clothes. I met the nicest young man who knew a lot about beer and filled my cart. I am a salesman's dream. I told him we wanted to try interesting beers and the next thing I knew, I'd spent a lot of money on beer and given away our two excess tickets to Brew Fest. It reminded me of the Kirby Vacuum Cleaner caper.

When I got home, I was hot so I put on my pink pajamas with the yellow rubber ducks. Then I remembered that I wanted to cut some flowers for the spare bedroom but I thought I could sneak out to the garden fast and do it without putting clothes back on. So I'm out there in my pink pajamas and bare feet cutting sunflowers and the mailman comes up the sidewalk. I made a beeline for the house and didn't even make eye contact as I didn't think there was any reason to embarass him with an explanation. It was probably way more than the guy wanted to deal with at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Regis is horrified when I go outside in my nightgown or robe. I guess this is why.

We're going to the Brew Fest tonight, Jane and Dick are arriving about midnight, and we're going back to the Brew Fest tomorrow. I'll be back with the stories on Sunday.

I thought summer was for fun...

I got home from work (some fresh kind of hell today) about noon and went right out to work in the garden. I weeded the whole mess, watered a few things, and buried two dead birds. I found the dove that expired on the driveway a week ago, and the robin who kamikazied into the bushes was getting mummifed so he needed a burial, too. When I picked him up with the shovel, his leg fell off. I needed that today. When I got done with that, I went to the basement and started vacuuming cobwebs and spider stuff. At 7 o'clock I had a beer, took a bath, then burst into tears. Just too much I guess.

I know people who talk about drawing orioles to their yards with grape jelly. We're on our second feeder thing and so far, all we've managed to attract is moths and ants. Sunday I threw a feeder in the trash that must have drowned at least a dozen moths in grape jelly. It was disgusting. I also can't seem to attract hummingbirds. They come to the lilies right below the feeder but they turn up their pointy little noses at the red hummingbird food. Maybe they can just fend for themselves then.

We sat in the yard for a while tonight and watched our neighbor try to set up a timed sprinkler system. They're going to Alaska for 8 days and they think this will keep their lawn and shrubs fortified while they're gone. Funny thought. She and Regis had a good time talking about how Alaska might have changed in the last 30 years since he was there. I bet she went home with "old fart" in the thought bubble over her head. Don't tell him I said that.

I finished Straight Man and started one of David Sedaris' books. He's funny but not as funny as Bill Bryson or Garrison Keillor. Maybe I have a stunted sense of humor. I don't laugh out loud at things that are funny, or at least that claim to be funny on the book jacket. I've laughed so hard at Bill Bryson that I have to get up off the couch so I don't choke. Now that's funny. I don't usually think movies are funny either come to think of it. I laughed at All of Me with Steve Martin and at one part in Meet the Fokkers. And I'm not fond of jokes. I have a couple favorites (the dyslexic agnostic insomniac, for one) but most don't make me laugh. I guess it's true...stunted sense of humor.

Book reviews

A couple things I've discovered about book reviews. Where to find them that is:

• Put a book title in google. Hit the search button. When the results come up, go to the more menu at the top of the page and go down to books. A whole page of reviews and information about the book will pop up.
• Ready, Steady, Book is an independent book review website, working in association with The Book Depository which is devoted to reviewing the very best books in literary fiction, poetry, history and philosophy.
• Reading Matters
• Guardian Unlimited Books' top 10 literary blogs
  

Books

I've been thinking about this since I read one of Charlie's latest blog posts about the books he's reading and the books he's read. He reviewed five books, and I had not a clue about any of them. Do we shop at different bookstores? Look at different websites? What makes something catch one person's eye and not another? What makes one person love a book and another loathe it?

A couple years ago, Regis and I saw a review for a new Larry McMurtry book called Sin Killer. We are both big fans of Lonesome Dove so we ordered Sin Killer and waited anxiously for it to arrive. I started it first and never finished it. The only thing that book was good for was laughs. I would read some of the outrageous dialogue aloud at the lunch table at work. People would guffaw. It was ridiculous. Here's one review from Amazon that sums it up:

This silly book could not possibly have been written by the genius of Lonesome Dove, so Larry McMurtry must be dead or missing in the wilderness, perhaps stuffed inside some frozen dead buffalo on the prairie in a blizzard , trapped by the frozen hide. Or hiding, maybe. I read the first book, hoping it would Start at some point and Go somewhere, but it never did. This is the silliest, dumbest, most surreal book purporting to be about something actual, that I've ever read and contains some of the most annoying, egregious, and insulting characters ever created. This book must be a spoof on spoofs of the J. F. Cooper genre, is all I can conclude. I will not bother reading the rest of this "series," it is irredeemable! Mr. Larry McMurtry must be found---No Author Left Behind!

I like that reference to NCLB, too! So, thinking this has to be the dumbest book ever written and Larry McMurtry must be hanging his head (all the way to the bank) for publishing it, I checked out other reviews. There were people who loved this book, people who thought it was the best book he's ever written, people who had already pre-ordered the next four books in the saga. Gads. Check it out at the library (Just read a few pages...don't actually check it out and take it home because this is a book, like Monica Lewinsky's autobiography, that you don't want to have in the car with you if you should have a heart attack and have to go the hospital. The EMTs would see it on the seat of the car and would tell rude stories about you later at the bar.) and see if I'm not right. Ridiculous characters, ludicrous dialogue, stupid plot line. It has everything.

I'm not inclined to pick up science fiction, crime, or fantasy. Regis likes to read about natural disasters (and the more disastrous, the better...earthquakes, volcanoes, leprosy, floods) but I like books about personal disasters...death, divorce, addiction, and all other modes of individual dysfunction. I can deal with it on a smaller scale but I don't like to know about the large-scale catastrophe lurking in the future.

There you go. There's something for everybody. I trust Charlie's taste, though. I think we've both read the story of ferret legging.

Father's Day

Regis and his boys. We had a nice dinner...hot ham sandwiches, potato salad, beans, and Buster Bar dessert. We walked around the garden for a while after dinner but it was pretty steamy and the rain was starting so we went back into the AC. Ella was entertaining. She ran back and forth from living room to kitchen, carrying purses, much of the evening. We sang The Wheels on the Bus before she went home. It's her favorite song.

Since we celebrated Father's Day last night, today we are going to the most manly place in the world: Menards. We need a couple pieces of hardware: something for the toilet, a switch for my bedside lamp, and probably some kind of spray foam. Some fun.

Addendum

We went to Home Depot where they apparently do not believe in air conditioning. I thought I was going to have a heat stroke back in the lighting section. We couldn't settle on a ceiling fan and couldn't find a shower curtain so we went to the other man store, Menards. They had everthing we needed, then some.

We stopped at B&N where we each found a few books, of course. I had ordered Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson. The webpage says: An early morning adventure out stealing horses leads to the tragic death of one boy and a resulting lifetime of guilt and isolation for his friend, in this moving tale about the painful loss of innocence and of traditional ways of life gone forever. It's translated from Norwegian. We found a few books on the "buy two get one free table" and Regis found a couple of remaindered books. We're set.

We went to Mazatlan for lunch. It advertises as authentic Mexican food and there are lots of ethnic folks who eat there, unlike the other Mexican places so that says something. We asked about the cheese which was delicious and the waitress said it's like mozzarella, but Regis googled it and found this:

Queso oaxaca:

Also known as quesillo, this is by far the most popular cheese for making quesadillas. It is a stretched curd cheese, kneaded and wound into balls. It should be pulled apart into thin strings before using to fill tortillas or melted on cooked food.

I had two margaritas with my lunch and had to take a nap when I got home. What a surprise. Regis has been buzzing around fixing the toilet, hanging the shower curtain, putting the new switch in the lamp...and I am lying on the couch reading a book. We also bought Kramer a few new toys at Pet Expo. He couldn't have toys when Bert was alive because Bert hogged them and they would fight. Now he has a football, a stuff squeaky bone, an orange dumb bell, and a big stuffed ball.

Back to the salt mines tomorrow. Damn lottery tickets.

So long, Bertrand Russell!

For Bert: A Poem

Here’s to Bert
Ye little shit
We’ve gathered round
The folks ye’ve bit.

Twenty pounds
Of blood and bones
Now ye’re in
These paw-shaped stones.

Ye won’t be bitin’ us
no more
So, journey on
To heaven’s shore.

And when ye reach the pearly gate
Don’t tell em how
ye used to growl and bait
and bare yer snaggly taith
And bite whoever dared come near
Ye snarly, cranky, foul-tempered wraith.

We’ll miss ye though
Ye ornery cur
Ye little sack
Of bitey fur.

We had a little memorial service for Bert last night. As planned, Regis tossed his ashes to the wind in the garden, we put the stepping stones by the path, and I read the poem. So, Bert's officially moved on to greener pastures.

It's raining here this morning and it would have been nice to sleep in. Rolling thunder, gentle rain...what a lullabye. Unfortunately, sleeping in for us is about 5 o'clock. We decided to get up and read the papers, then go to Hermie's for breakfast. We're having company again tonight for Father's Day but the house is clean and there isn't much cooking to do so I can take it easy today.

Dead animal conundrum

There is a small dove that appears to be dying in my driveway. It hasn't moved since 11 o'clock except to inch over into the shade. I'm glad it can move that much because I was trying to think of something I could take out to shield it from the sun. As I was going onto the house, I saw a dead robin that had apparently done a kamikaze flight into the picture window and crash landed in the shrubbery. It's like a scene from The Birds around here. Regis has a mole trap set up in the front yard and I'm avoiding that, too. It's creepy.

One day a couple summers ago, I was going to take a shower. I was bare naked leaning over the tub when I spotted what appeared to be a small plastic frog on the tub ledge. I peered at it, thinking that it was funny LuAnn, the cleaning lady, had left a toy there. As I was staring at this small toy frog, IT BLINKED IT'S BLOODY EYES. I backed up, got dressed, and went to find a neighbor to remove the frog from my bathroom. It looked like one of those poisonous Amazonian tree frogs and I wasn't going to take any chances. I didn't mind however, asking a neighbor to take a chance. Jan from next door came in and captured the frog in a Rubbermaid container and liberated it in the backyard. I learned later that this (non-poisonous) tree frog is very common in Minnesota and can often be found clinging to windows on humid summer nights. How could I have lived here for fifty years and never seen one? And how did it get in my bathroom?

We're having a small memorial ceremony for Bert tomorrow night. We've invited anyone Bert has ever bitten, which would make quite a crowd now that I think of it. I guess he didn't bite that many people, just the same people multiple times. Regis made some stepping stones for the garden out of paw print molds, mortar mix, and some of Bert's ashes. Betty said she would prepare the eulogy. We'll have a cold beer under the apple tree, plant the rest of the ashes and then retire to the house for hot beef sandwiches and cole slaw. We'll probably do the same when Regis or I kick the bucket.

Chicken wings and high ropes

Here's our current favorite recipe for chicken wings on the grill:

Spicy Cayenne Chicken Wings

Prep time: 5 minutes
Marinating time: 2-3 hours
Grilling time: 16-18 minutes

Marinade
1/4 cup olive oil
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 and 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
2 teaspoons dried oregano
2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon celery seed
1 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

16 chickn wings

In a small bowl, whisk the marinade ingredients. Put wings in a bag and pour the marinade over them. Make sure they're all covered. Refrigerate for 2-3 hours.
Grill over direct medium heat for 16-18 minutes, turning occasionally.

We've learned: You can leave out the paprika. It doesn't seem to really matter. Don't leave out anything else. They are delicious.


On a more humorous note, I got this email today:

Just a reminder about the team building activity on Thursday:
Meet by the garage at 8:30 A.M.
Team Building Activity 9-11 A.M. low ropes, team building, communication, trust. 11-12 P.M. high ropes options.
Wear comfortable clothes
Wear closed toe shoes-no sandals
Bring sunscreen, hats, sunglasses
I will have the release forms to be signed on Thursday.

My editorial comments: You may have seen this on the Discover Channel. They put a helmet on your head, strap you into a device, and dangle your ass from ropes 40 feet in the air. First of all, I would never sign a waiver. When they drop me to the forest floor, I want to be able to sue for every penny they have. Second of all, I don't remember hearing about this ever before. I would have accused these people who planned this little event of hitting the crack pipe. There is no way I would even consider this. I am: Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off.

My friend Joanne says this could work out just fine... I have a better chance of breaking my neck than picking the right lottery numbers. What a cynic.

Technology rocks!

Saturday with Ella

Ella came to spend part of Saturday afternoon with her Nana and Bopop. She loves the swing so we pull lawn chairs up and have a fine time. She does all her tricks, points at things, says the name, makes us laugh. She was delightful.
We made many trips up and down the steps and around the garden. She loves the steps most of all but still has to take a hand to go up and down.
There's a lot of daisies so we let her pick as many as she liked.
She loves the garden art, especially the frogs and turtles that are hiding in the plants. Kramer is always at the window watching us. She said he was playing peek-a-boo. Regis tried bringing him out but he gets too wild and he scares her.

The reason we live here

Today is the reason we live in Minnesota. The temperature is about 70 with a nice cool breeze and there are minimal bug problems. Regis and I have been enjoying the porch since he got home from work and except for the yipping dog next door, it's perfect. That dog's bark could shatter glass. I wish he'd go back to Dubai and get swallowed by a python.

We have a leisurely weekend planned. We have a few chores to do tomorrow, then we'll pick Ella up for the afternoon. We might go to Nicollet to Schmidt's Meat Market. Once you eat their bacon, you never go back to grocery store bacon. They make wonderful summer sausage and brats, too. Sunday we're going to Rockin' in the Quarry. My favorite band City Mouse, is playing first, then the Symphony will play the 1812 Overture, complete with cannons. What could be better?

Trip to Minneapolis

My trip to Minneapolis was as bad as I anticipated. The traffic, to start with, was horrendous. I saw people engage in incredible acts of tom-foolery: dodging cones to get in lanes that were closed, driving on the shoulder to butt in line, giving the finger as they passed me at speeds faster than sound. I was chased into town by ominous looking cumulonimbus mammatus clouds, swirling winds, and big fat raindrops. Just a little foreshadowing. The ramp that I always take into downtown was closed so I had to get over into that rushing traffic again. I got lost. The hotel didn't have valet parking and I burst into tears at the thought of getting back into the car and trying to find a ramp. (They offered me the handicapped stall which I accepted with chagrin.) I took a ride in a dirty old cab with a very sleezy driver who wouldn't visit with me. It went downhill from there. I'm very glad to be home.

Thought

I could use a little light and love in the next few days.

Although all men share a common destiny, each individual also has to work out his personal salvation for himself. We can help each other find the meaning of life, but in the last analysis, each is responsible for finding himself.
Thomas Merton

One of the great spiritual truths is that each person must work out his or her own personal salvation. When a person you care about is in trouble, you can reach out to support his or her healing but past a certain point, you can do no more. No matter how much you love, you cannot carry another person’s burden.

What can you do when someone you love is in pain? First, affirm that there is a purpose behind the experience. Know that the soul has some important lesson to learn that will be of great value to him or her.

Second, although you cannot directly intervene, your positive thoughts and prayers do make a difference. Visualize your friend surrounded by light and love. This type of healing acts directly on the soul level and does not encounter resistance from the conscious mind.

Finally, know that divine protection is present. The forces of light are always available to the person who requests help. Ultimately, no soul can be lost; as all who ask will be guided to the safety of their spiritual home.

From the book Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

New goat

Regis rolled his eyes when I showed him this picture. (He thinks my fascination is odd and I'm not saying it isn't.) It's two new baby goats from my favorite website and goat farm in Washington. The tiny one is Peanut and the monster one is Goatzilla. They were born from the same mother, minutes apart. There's a middle-sized one, too, called Boxcar Betty. These are relatives of Xanthoria, my god goat child. Read about Peanut here.

That's all I have to report today.

Picture of the Day

Regis thinks this is the picture of the weekend. He says Evynne is very photogenic...those of you in the background can be offended, I guess, that you are not the object of his photographic admiration. It is a pretty picture. She should be on a billboard advertising sunscreen or something.

I made some horrendous Chinese concoction for dinner tonight. It was called tofu lo mein. It started with tofu and went downhill from there. Regis liked it and thought it was funny that one of my complaints was that it was too white. This from a Norwegian, he said. I wouldn't have eaten it all except that I made it. I don't think I'll bother to eat it again. Ick.

Our neighbor who has been in Dubai for the past year came home with a damn yipping dog. They have a pet door so the dog can come and go and distub the neighborhood all day to its heart's content. Little monster. She barks and Kramer goes crazy, pacing around the house from window to window. We got Burt's ashes back, by the way. In a tiny box about the size of a baseball. Reggie opened it, took a look, and said, "Smells like piss." We all laughed. Burt will go into the garden for his final rest.

My family gathered at Lake Reno near Glenwood this weekend. Mom hosted the event, we filled four large cabins, and people came from as far away as Ohio. This is most, but not nearly all of us. The newest member of the family is Ezra, 4-months old. His mama, Michelle, is right next to him.

We always loved having a fire on the beach when Mom and Dad had their cabin. Even though the weather this weekend was unpredicatable and there were a few heavy rain showers, the evening was gorgeous and we got to have a fire and roast marshmallows. In this picture: Tiernen, Jason (Nicole's boyfriend), Nicole, Jody, and Rachel on Helen's lap.
This is Dave's family: David and Joan, Tiernen and Jeremy. The photogenic dog is Champ. Doesn't she look happy to have her picture taken?
This is Bruce and Jody's family. Cybil and Shawn (not pictured) came from Ohio. The little girls are Evynne and Darby.
These are old friends, the Anderts. They were neighbors of ours in Canby when we first moved there when I was in second grade. They're like family and can tell as many stories about us as we can. They drove over from Villard for the afternoon.
This is Pat and his daughter Rachel. Where's Helen? We missed amanda, too, who is in Chile studying (could be she's studying wine, we're not completely sure).
Regis always brings cigars for the men. He's also the reunion archivist so he takes hundreds of pictures of the event...some planned and some candid.
This game which goes by Goofy Golf, Polish Golf, Norwegian Golf and probably a few others, was popular with everyone. It looks a lot easier than it is. You can buy it at Target...this was home-made with PVC pipe and golf balls.
Steve and his boys: Duncan, Ian, and Caleb. Ezra and Michelle are in the picture at the top. Nicole is holding Ezra.

I name a goat!

Xanthoria Elegans is the name I suggested for this goat and it's the one they picked. Cool! This is a great website if you like goats and I do. They have the most interesting little faces. Go to the website and scroll down to read about Penrose. The goat who writes this blog has quite a way with words!

Gardening in the rain

I drove home from work in a downpour. On the way home, I decided that I would plant a few of the perrenials I bought over the weekend so they didn't have to sit in the hot sun all weekend. I didn't think I'd get too dirty so I didn't change my clothes. I planted the astilbe, the lobelia, and a couple of cardinal flowers and by then I was so muddy I didn't mind that it started to rain again. I finished up with the herbs, the tomatoes, a few peppers...and my new grass:

• Foerster's Feather Reed Grass (pictured at top)
  
• Shenandoah Switch Grass
  
• Elijah Blue Fescue
• Little Bluestem

This is the Shenandoah Switch Grass. It gets red in the fall. I love grasses. I had several plants a few years ago but had to sacrifice them when the pampas grass (miscanthus) got out of hand. They're beautiful in the winter, too. I decided to go with only green this year...no annual flowers....just herbs and grass. Last year was a hosta year.

I should plant my whole yard in perennial grass...the kind you don't have to mow. My neighbors would probably get up a petition to throw us out. They aren't much for the wild, random look of my yard. They're more into plastic edging and rocks.

Back to the salt mines

Since we didn't have winning lottery tickets, we had to get up and go to work today. What a hardship. The printing business is crazy after a long weekend. I suppose people forgot all about their need for post-it notes over the holiday, then they woke up this morning with a burning desire which meant Regis was hoppin' all day. We had graduation at HLC for our class of one and we do it up nicely. We have the graduate walk down the aisle to Pomp and Circumstance, we order a big sheet cake with decorative writing, and we have a few speeches. The kids all think it's wonderful.

Kramer is experiencing some separation anxiety lately. He howls like a banshee when we leave the house. And my VW Beetle has a problem with the security system...it goes off randomly about fifty percent of the time when you either start it or get out the passenger side. Neither of those actions has anything to do with stealing the car and besides I'm the owner. I should be able to get out of either door. It's embarassing to jump in the car in front of the post office and drive down Third Street with the horn honking and the flashers flashing. That segue was not as ragged as it seems...both stories relate to loud noise.

There's a great summer reading list in the Tribune. It was generated by the Book Babes who have their own website and believe that books are better than Botox. If you look at the website right now, the current posting has a list of other websites where you can find books and book reviews. It's an endless web. I'm reading a book now called Riding the Bus With My Sister. It's a non-fiction story about a woman and her disabled sister who rides the city bus all day long. For her birthday, the sister decides to ride along for a year. I like it.

Memorial Day Weekend

Saturday...The garage sale was a success. We made enough money to take the friends who helped out for dinner to Hermie's....our favorite bait shop and restaurant extraordinaire. Quite the social event. We went to the Redmen Club (St. Peter's very non-politically correct men's organization) for an after-dinner drink.

Sunday....I think I cleaned up the house a little. Must not have been memorable. Imagine kitchen-floor mopping being non-memorable. We watched Ella in the evening while Bob and Emily went to a movie. She's so darn sweet. Just as she was going to sleep on my lap, she rolled over, pointed at Regis and said, "Boppop". Regis just melts. Nothing like a baby to do that to you.

Monday...I got up early, cleaned the kitchen and had breakfast, then went out to dig up a daylily garden. I estimated it would take an hour. Three hours later, I was almost done. I dragged a huge wheel barrow, a wagon, and four boxes of daylilies to my neighbor. I decided I was too tired to plant anything so came in the house to clean up. I always look out the bathroom window when I take a shower. There was my neighbor to the south pulling the Engelman ivy off the ugly chain link fence. It's their fence but I can't imagine why someone wouldn't want to look at that beautiful ivy instead of chain link. It was the first year it had berries on it. I marched out and told the guy he could just drop it over the fence and I would plant it somewhere else. I know now I won't but it made me sick to think of the three years I spent cultivating that plant to have someone rip it down.

We went to Lexington to the Hide-Away Resort for an early Memorial Day dinner with Betty and Tom. They have wonderful appetizers: fresh green beans and onions deep-fried in a light tempura batter. Much better than the usual frozen fare. When we got back to town, we went to Betty and Tom's and sat in their new screened in cabana. There was a nice breeze that helped keep the bugs out even though their dogs ran in and out every time someone walked by on the path.

We love Tom and Betty's new dog Gonzo. He's dumber than a box of hammers but he has such a cute face. He looks like Winston Churchill only not as smart. If you talk to him, he makes this funny face like he's trying to understand you. He runs out of the cabana through the door but when he tries to come back in, he slams into the screen. We laugh every time.

Our neighbor, Mike Callahan, who did the magic show at our St. Patty's party also does comedy. He ran over Friday night to tell us that he had just gotten a call that he'd gotten a spot at Goonie's in Rochester. He's done the MC gig there before but this is the second spot from the top and apparently pretty competetive. He was thrilled about this. We're making plans to take all the neighbors down for his show on October 2nd. Mike's also planning a magic show for adults in St. Peter the week before Halloween.

I keep nagging Regis to check the lottery tickets because I have a bad case of "I don't want to go to work tomorrow."

Yard Sale

We're having another yard sale this weekend. All the stuff was on tables and in boxes after the sale last weekend so we just put up a few signs and hauled it down to the curb again. We have fun by drinking a few beers, making some dogs on the grill, and visiting with people. Last night, every collection of stuff people picked up was three bucks. Heavier stuff was cheaper since we really don't want to haul it somewhere else at the end of today.

Not YOUR college cafeteria

Regis and I wandered up the hill to Gustavus to eat in the college cafeteria tonight. Only the seniors (senors, hahahaha) are left and most of them were on a boat cruise (thanks for that info, Jill!) so it was quiet. The people who worked there were very friendly and we enjoyed browsing the Italian section, the Pizzeria, the Grille, the Rotisserie, and all the other areas. This is not what the MSU cafeteria was like in 1970, believe me. I think it's why we all had those funky electric popcorn poppers that we used to heat up soup. Microwaves and dorm refrigerators had not been invented yet. We had a nice dinner and wandered home in our new Beetle.

I took a school trip to Albert Lea today. Just my luck that Blue Earth county was under a severe storm watch when I was coming home. Minneapolis was getting tennis ball size hail and fifty mph winds so I was glad to dodge the storms and get home before it rained anymore.

There's one of Kent Haruf's books on the table in the porch. If you haven't read his books, I'd recommend you check them out. These are my favorites:

• Eventide. Knopf, 2004
• Plainsong. Knopf, 2000
• The Tie That Binds. Vintage 2000

They're wonderful stories worth reading more than one time. I always wanted to send Eventide to Robert Redford. I thought he could make a great movie out of it. This is from the publisher:

Colorado, January 1977. Eighty-year-old Edith Goodnough lies in a hospital bed, IV taped to the back of her hand, police officer at her door. She is charged with murder. The clues: a sack of chicken feed slit with a knife, a milky-eyed dog tied outdoors one cold afternoon. The motives: the brutal business of farming and a family code of ethics as unforgiving as the winter prairie itself.

In his critically acclaimed first novel, Kent Haruf delivers the sweeping tale of a woman of the American High Plains, as told by her neighbor, Sanders Roscoe. As Roscoe shares what he knows, Edith's tragedies unfold: a childhood of pre-dawn chores, a mother's death, a violence that leaves a father dependent on his children, forever enraged. Here is the story of a woman who sacrifices her happiness in the name of family—and then, in one gesture, reclaims her freedom. Breathtaking, determinedly truthful, The Tie That Binds is a powerfully eloquent tribute to the arduous demands of rural America, and of the tenacity of the human spirit.

Well, that's enough for tonight. There are rumbles of thunder in the distance, Kramer's lying on the couch chewing his toy (he could never have toys before...Bert hogged them and started fights if he didn't get ALL the toys), and I'm tired.

Tuesday

It feels funny to be going back to normal blogging after Bert's passing but I guess it has to be. We got a lovely card from the vet's office today. Terri, Bert's favorite vet tech wrote a note about Bert. She was always very sweet to Bert, even when he was at his worst. We're waiting for his ashes to come back and then he'll be dispersed into the garden and the yard where he almost caught that last rabbit.

It was a long day at work. I voted to cook on the grill tonight since the next few days look like rain. We got the coals going, then the rain started. It didn't rain long though, so Emily and Ella walked over with the stroller. Ella and her Boppop played catch with a rubber ball. She gets such a kick out of that...claps everytime she catches it. We finished dinner on the grill...giant shrimp from the truck, big old portabella mushrooms, Yukon gold potatoes, Vidalia onions, and pineapple. The best part was a slab of herb focaccia bread that I buttered and grilled. It was wonderful.

I've enjoyed driving my Beetle except the robber control (security alarm) seems to go off for no reason. It's very embarassing. The first time I jumped out and walked away quickly like I would be accused of stealing it myself. I wonder what those alarms are supposed to do. Nobody pays much attention except the person who set it off. The car has a great radio and a great air conditioner which are the only two things I really care about. It does kick some butt which Regis likes. When you give it some gas, it almost rears up on its back wheels and peels out leaving a puff of smoke like the old cartoon cars. I don't make it do that very often.

We've been two weeks without television and we haven't really missed it. I watched Grey's Anatomy on my computer last week and we have a movie from Netflix, but otherwise we have been tv-less. Of course, this is the time of year we never watched much anyway. We might miss it on those long dark winter nights.

I'm reading a very good book called The History of Love. I just finished The Long Way Round which I might have written about before because it got a little tedious. I thought these dudes were going around the world alone but they had an entourage to bail them out whenever things got too bad. They did have some adventures (lots of people in Russia with guns and vodka) but it wasn't what I expected.

The end of the school year always leaves me with about one nerve left. Today I packed off a big package that contained our corrective action plan for our last due process compliance monitoring. It's not my best gig...lots of numers with decimal points, lots of dates, lots of detail. It was a good feeling to be done with it. Tomorrow I'm going to another district to see a program they have but this time of year it's hard to care enough about anything to act interested and ask intelligent questions. Maybe that will come back to me overnight.

Bertrand Russel Fritsch

Bert in his bow-tie, enjoying the smell of Christmas dinner.

Bert died this morning. He had a couple of very rough days and nights after a few months of decline. Until the past two days he was still able to jump on the bed, work us for treats every time he went outside, and chase rabbits in the back yard but the past two nights it was difficult for him to even get up to get a drink or go outside. This morning, he couldn't make it up the step to the porch and could only walk a few feet before he sat down. He seemed to be suffering so we knew it was time.

Bert surveying the perimeter and keeping the yard free of rabbits and dogs.

If you're going to have a dog, you might as well have one with some personality. Bert certainly had that. He was a cantankerous son-of-a-bitch for a long time, until we figured out that he had epilepsy and thyroid problems. The medication helped his temperment a little but he was still ornery and liked things his way. No doubt about it, Bert was the pack leader in our house.

Bert claiming the couch.

Bert was a difficult pet to train because he figured things out and before you knew it, you were the one who was trained. If he barked at me when I was on the phone, I would toss him a treat. Pretty soon, the minute I picked up the phone, he started barking. Regis would give him a treat to get him off the bed at night. If he made the mistake of leaving the bedroom before getting into bed, Bert jumped right back up and expected another treat.

One of our favorite stories about Bert is the time just a few weeks ago when he chased a rabbit across the back yard. He was already suffering from congestive heart failure and he must have gotten right to the end of his capacity because he passed out against the fence. When Regis went out to pick him up, he had a chunk of that rabbit's tail in his mouth. He might have been old and decrepit but he could still catch a rabbit.

Another meal, another bowtie...surveying the grub.

Regis has been devastated by Bert's death. He wonders why we get pets when it's so hard to lose them. I think it's the same reason we let people into our lives. It would be pretty boring to spend your life alone so you were protected from hurt. As damn ornery as Bert was, he was an entertaining and occasionally even a lovable pet. He's in dog heaven now, not bothered by seizures, thyroid problems, or difficult breathing. He's chasing rabbits and birds and working somebody else for just one more treat.

He was some dog.

Portrait of Bert as a Young Dog

Our new VW Beetle!

Isn't this the cutest little car? It's a 2000 Volkswagen Beetle. We traded our Ford Ranger (of the bad timing belt and miserable winter driving) for it this afternoon in a marathon session in Mankato. We'll post some real pictures of it in our actual driveway tomorrow. After a long garage sale morning and a car dealing afternoon, I'm pooped.

Buyer's remorse

I walk into the media center this afternoon and my friend Tom, who's been the tough customer on the truck, lays a pile of cash money down in front of me. My jaw drops. He says he'll give me this much and it's a deal. I tell him about Trent, and of course, I feel terrible for selling my truck out from under him. I also tell him that I worry about Trent driving the truck to Ely with the bad tires and old timing belt. He laughs but I can tell he's thinking man thoughts like oh good grief and he's making that circular motion with his finger by his ear while rolling his eyes. I couldn't see any of this but I'm sure it's true.

When I get home, I find that Trent left a message this morning at 7:40 a.m. He is still planning to come and look at the truck on Friday but if we get a better offer he doesn't want us to hold it for him. What in the hell does that mean? Probably that he got home, told his dad he bought a cool truck with an iPod adaptor that he only saw in the dark, and...what do you know...he changed his mind.

So I call Tom back but he's out mowing the lawn. This is way more work and discussion about vehicles than I care to have. A person ought to be able to buy a car or sell a car like you buy and sell bags of vegetables or old television sets. This is not a deal for a lifetime. This is a thing with wheels that will get you places for a few years at most. It doesn't deserve this much attention.

Bye-bye truck

A young kid called tonight and wanted to come look at it about 9:30. He shows up, looks it over in the dark, asks some questions, takes it for a spin with his buddy, watches while Regis shows him how to use the iPod thing in the glove box, and says he'll take it. That's my kind of buyer. We gave him a really good deal because of the timing belt thing and because he's young and earnest. Of course, now I'll worry about him in the winter. He wanted to know if it starts in cold weather. Yeah, it starts, you just can't go anywhere. Regis said the kid was shaking and almost in tears when he shook his hand to seal the deal. He wanted that little black truck in the worst way.

Regis found a VW Beetle in the paper that I'd like to buy. It has heated seats and a moon roof. I didn't ask about the rubber.

Spring at the lake

These are cheddar pinks...not from my garden. Mine look decidedly less robust.

I just walked over to visit with my neighbors across the street and ended up with a taste of his spicy baked beans and chipotle barbecue sauce, a tour of his garden, and two plants to bring home. Paul has a gorgeous garden with lots of herbs, hanging tomatoes, a koi pond, and several little out-buildings one of which we call the cabana. He has great parties in the summer where he cooks pizza in a brick oven or huge shrimp on the barbecue grill. He and Julie and I got to telling funny tornado stories about things like their post-modern carpenter, the guy who put in my front walk who said he had a PhD in Botony, the roofer with a wooden leg and Cliff the ceiling plasterer who thought he was an artist and Billy his EBD helper. Quite a cast of characters. I said someone should collect those stories because I'm sure you could multiply our stories by hundreds.

What a change in the weather. Last night must have been about 40 degrees. The flag and the wind chimes outside out bedroom window made a lot of noise all night but it was pleasant noise. The wind reminds me of the cool wind off the lake in the spring and early summer. Quite a change from the 90 degrees on Sunday. Things in my garden starting to bloom: daisies, cheddar pinks, phlox, columbine, and something else I can't remember the name of.

Regis and I went to the pet store tonight for provisions for our livestock, including the fish and the wild birds. A fellow who worked in the bird seed department told me more than I ever wanted to know about grackles and grosbeaks. We stopped at Famous Dave's for an appetizer and a beer. Now that Regis is home every day by 5:30, I'm back in the habit of cooking a meal most nights and most nights I do alright but some nights we have grilled cheese sandwiches or omelets.

A guy is coming to look at my pick-up tonight. We've had an ad in the paper for three weeks and this is the second call we've had. A man I work with has been interested but he's one of those tough car customers....he wants to know about the previous owners, how many miles it gets to the gallon, and what kind of rubber it has. That's a whole other story, that rubber thing...
I had a Mustang years ago that I wanted to sell. Dad made a list of all the car-related information so if anyone called I would know what to say. Things like how big the engine was, how many pistons it had, what kind of oil it used...stuff like that. So this man calls and he starts with the questions. I answer every one, looking at the list. His final question is, "How's the rubber?" Long pause. Very long pause while I search up and down the list and do a mental survey of the car. I can't find anything about rubber on the list and for the life of me, I can't think of anything rubber inside, so finally I say, "There's no rubber on it." Of course, he meant the tires. I was mortified but what an asshole. Really, who would call it that?

So, that guy might be out of luck if this guy wants my truck. But I'm having seller's remorse, meaning that I might be asking too much. After all, it needs a timing belt, a tune-up and will need tires (AKA rubber) in the next six months. Regis is rolling his eyes and reminds me that I once bought a car for the sticker price. Oh, yeah. I did.

Mother's Day

Bob, Ella, and Reg came over with a bouquet of tulips for Mother's Day. Ella sat in the swing for a while, looked at all the yard art (the frog was her favorite) and played with my shoes. See the next picture. She also picked the fern-leaf peony flower (that took ten years to cultivate) when we weren't looking...a handful of red petals. I suppose it was just too good to be true..right at her level and about baby-hand size. It was pretty dried up anyway in the 90 degree heat and wind. I suggested they not take Ella to see the corpse flower which is very rare and in bloom now and is expected to draw thousands of lookers.
She can count to four (when I ask her how old she is and then say "one", she laughs and says "two") and says a bunch of words like frog, button, swing, fish, juice, and almost anythng else you say which means you have to be careful with the cuss words.
Here are the men looking suave and debonair. They were cute pushing the baby in the stroller with a bouquet of tulips in the back. Too bad they're both taken...that would have been a real chick magnet.

It got up to 90 degrees today which I hate. We're back to the windows and doors closed and it's even too hot to be on the porch. Might as well be winter. The little plants I transplanted yesterday are looking pretty droopy. I'll go out and water them when it cools off but I'm not optimistic.

Regis rigged up a container for grape jelly so we can attract Orioles to our garden. I saw a female in the backyard this afternoon. We've had so many interesting birds... I think the absence of the neighborhood cat has made a difference. I think I'll put the hummingbird feeders out again.

Saturday in the garden

I spent most of the day in my garden. This picture is the fern-leaf peony I wrote about in a previous post, the one I almost put in the compost pile. I've had it for years and this is its first blossom. The whole plant is about a foot high and the flower is maybe five inches across. It's a beautiful deep red. Here is what I did in the garden:

• Trimmed the junipers on the hill in front
• Cleaned the dead stalks out of the coneflower beds
• Pulled about forty miles of artemesia roots out of the back of the garden. This is the plant that my neighbor said was not invasive, but is.
• Pulled out a bunch of false sunflowers
• Transplanted a few things to the hill by the sidewalk where most things won't grow
• Cleaned up the monarda
• Pulled grass out of the daylilies
• Fertilized the new shrubs
• Took out the shrub in front of the house that looked dead and probably was
• Planted all the house plants in pots so they can live outside for the summer
• Took a truck load of plant debris and grass clippings to the compost pile

I only stopped because we had a couple big claps of thunder then a couple hours of rain, often and on heavy with huge drops. All the garden work was a big job and I took a short nap when it was done. We cooked a couple hot dogs on the grill with portabella mushrooms and Vidalia onions...and of course, had a beer on the driveway. What a nice Saturday.

Regis says the titan arum is blooming!

Thursday

We didn't take those pictures of the grosbeaks. You can find pictures of almost anything on Google. Put something in the Google, then click images. Amazing.

We had a lovely evening. I had started the grill and chopped all kinds of vegetables for dinner by the time Regis came home. I put some of Emerill's Baby Bam seasoning on some chicken thighs so we were ready to go. We sat in the yard and enjoyed the birds and the breeze and cooked chicken and vegetables. The grosbeaks came back to the feeder, the dogs prowled around the back yard, and we finished the meal with some Girl Scout cookies. Great Thursday.

I almost had a GRAND SLAM in the mail today. First, the tickets for the Brewfest came. The next envelope had a letter from my doctor that the spot he sliced off my hand the other day was benign. The last envelope was from the Board of Teaching and I thought it might contain my license. That would be perfect! But no, it's a request for an official transcript within thirty days or I forfeit my 57 dollars and have to start over. So, there you go.

The Brewfest is great. Lots of micro breweries, good music, good outdoor food, and lots of laughs. We had a good time last year. This year the legendary Jane and Dick are coming from Iowa (repeat customers) to join Tom and Betty, Regis and me. I'm sure a good time will be had by all.

Good day for birds

These two beautiful birds have been visiting our feeder regularly during the past week. The bird in the top picture is the male rose-breasted grosbeak. He comes often and eats safflower seeds for a long time. The bird in the bottom picture is the female. She's very shy and has yet to come to the feeder but sits in the apple tree and watches while he eats. Maybe she eats when we aren't sitting there. We've also had a male cardinal at the feeder quite often. One day I saw him in the apple tree when the blossoms were full and pure white. While we were out today, Regis spotted a Baltimore oriole in the neighbor's maple tree. He was beautiful against the red leaves. One of our neighbors moved away and took her two cats with her which has had good and bad results. More birds and more rabbits.

It was a bear of a day today. The secretary was absent so I took every phone call and answered the door every time someone knocked. I don't think I did one thing without an interruption. I was supposed to go to a workshop in Minneapolis tomorrow but I cancelled at the last minute. I really don't give a fig today.

When I came home from work, I had a cold beer and a piece of rhubarb pie. Ah, that feels better.

True Spring

I came home right after school let out (or right after the children were dismissed) and raked the sticks off the yard. We had high winds on Sunday and they (it?) left a mess on the front yard. My neighbor Julie was out seeding spots on her lawn and she brought over some rhubarb. After I raked, we had a glass of wine, I made a pie, then Regis mowed the grass for the first time. Paul brought grilled chicken. grilled foccacia bread, and asparagus. Ah, spring.

One of my favorite goats to read about, Herron Hill's April the First died Sunday. Very sad. I love the blog This Goat's Life and learned about April there. The farmer said April was the sweetest most ornery goat in the world, smart as a whip and crazy as a bedbug.

Don't forget to check out the titan arum (corpse flower) on the Gustavus website. There are three of these funky flowers blooming in the US simultaneously. Or almost simultaneously.

I have a fern-leaf peony in my garden that's been a survivor of almost ten years. I got it from Mom's garden on the farm and transplanted it here on the south side of the house. It sat there for several years, not growing and not blooming. I was ready to get rid of it when I moved it to the west side of the house instead. It sat there for several years, not growing and not blooming. One day I grabbed ahold of it to pull it out and noticed it had a root like a carrot. I remembered Mom saying not to plant it too deep so I left it about half-way out the ground and covered it again with dirt. Now it has one big red bud on it and if the rabbits don't get it, it will have a flower soon. That's a long wait...not as long as for the titan arum but still a long wait.

I finished the book called The Last Season. It's the story of Randy Morgenson, a ranger in the Sierra Nevada mountain range who disappeared under mysterious circumstances. It was interesting but I was ready for it to end. I can't imagine going out into the wilderness for days at a time carrying everything you need in a backpack. People who are not afraid to do things like that have different brains than people like me.

We're watching Twister and the sky is getting blacker and blacker outside the windows...right here where we live. This may not be a good idea.

Cinco de Mayo

Betty and Tom had a Cinco de Mayo party yesterday that commenced at 3 in the afternoon. We started in the kitchen, went to the bar in the basement, moved outside for a while, then went back to the bar when it got too windy to be outside. We had great food: tamale bean dip, pico de gallo, black bean dip, chipotle chicken casserole, chicken and steak fajiatas, and CHILES RELLENOS. Tom also made some great margaritas. By the end of the evening, all the men were asleep and the women were at the bar singing and doing that high-pitched trill that you hear in some South of the Border music. It's a good thing we were in the basement. I'm sure the neighbors would have called the police to report some heinous crime being committed on a cat.

I made the pico de gallo and got some teasing about the name. It's just salsa, they said, but it isn't. I read a few recipes and in the end, chopped up whatever I had: tomatoes, tomatillos, red onion, garlic, green onion, and lots of cilantro. It was delicious. The difference between this and salsa is that salsa is cooked; so there.

I also made a key lime margarita pie. Here's the recipe:

Crust:
1/2 cup pretzels, finely crushed
1/2 cup graham crackers, finely crushed
1/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup butter, melted

Filling:
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1/3 cup frozen limeade concentrate, thawed
2 tablespoon tequila
1 tablespoon orange liqueur
Few drops green food coloring, optional
1 cup heavy cream

Garnish:
Lime slices

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

To make the pretzel crust, combine the crushed pretzels, graham crackers, sugar, and melted butter. Once the mixture is combined, spread the mixture evenly into a 9-inch pie tin. Press the mixture in the tin onto the bottom and the sides to form a firm even crust. Bake for 5 minutes until the edges are lightly browned. Let shell cool until needed.

For the filling, use a large mixing bowl, and combine the sweetened condensed milk, limeade, tequila, orange liqueur, and food coloring if desired, until all ingredients are well mixed. In a medium size bowl, beat the heavy cream until soft peaks form. Fold the whipped cream into the lime and tequila mixture. Spoon the filling into the pie shell, cover and freeze for 4 hours or until firm.

To serve, let pie stand for 10 minutes after coming out of freezer. Slice pie and garnish with lime slices.

At the end of the recipe was this disclaimer:
This recipe was provided by professional chefs and has been scaled down from a bulk recipe provided by a restaurant. The Food Network chefs have not tested this recipe, in the proportions indicated, and therefore, we cannot make any representation as to the results.

And so it doesn't look at all the picture if you make it according to the directions. It makes a smallish pie in a pie plate. If I were to make it again, I would make it in a spring form pan and double the recipe so it gets higher. I'd also add more lime, either lime zest or something. It needed a little more kick. I didn't use pretzels either because they are a snack food and it's wrong to put them in a dessert. I used all graham cracker crumbs. Everyone thought it was a nice palate soother after all the peppers and spice.

We had 50 mph winds this morning. It knocked a lot of small branches off our birch tree and if I had any gumption, I'd go out and rake them up. It was a mighty wind. I guess a lot of people lost shingles and bigger branches. I've been looking at the tornado damage in Greensburg, Kansas. The wind is a powerful force so don't go outside to look up into the sky when the sirens go off where you live. Get your ass to the basement. The other thing they don't tell you is that THE REASON YOU SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM WINDOWS IS WHEN THE GLASS BREAKS IT BLOWS INWARD AND EMBEDS ITSELF IN WHATEVER IS IN THE WAY. That could be your flesh. If you've ever picked glass shards out of wood or plaster, you will get this message loud and clear.

Bert had another cyanotic episode the other day. He went out the patio door and spotted a rabbit. He lit out after it, got to the corner of the yard where the rabbit went through the hole in the fence, and he must have used up whatever he had because he went down in the dirt. With a mouthful of bunny fur in his mouth. Regis went out and carried him into the house. It was a pitiful sight...poor Bert all limp and dirty but proud with a piece of that rabbit in his mouth. He might be old but he can still chase rabbits.

Busy day...

I woke up at 3:30 but read for a while then went back to sleep. I think I was a step off all day because that was really deep sleep between 4 and 6. I took a shower but forgot to wash my hair. Not a good way to start a day. Meeting at 10, workshop at 12:30, home by 4, Mankato for groceries and haircuts and just got home now at 9. I like a little more lazy in my days.

I had an email from Jocelyn in PA when I got home. She said she was having a stroke and was on her way to the hospital. WTF???? Sorry for the acrononymous cuss but really. My God. I emailed right back and her husband responded briefly with a phone number at the hospital. A little more information, Joe? Regis talked to him later and he said it's not a stroke like you think. We don't know what that means and might now know until tomorrow.

Peter called very disgruntled with his current sandwich career. He asked for a raise because he works overnights, goes in when other people call in sick, never misses work himself, and because he makes a mean meatball sub. No dice the boss said. I suggested it might be time to consider a new career.

Our poor dogs were confined most of the day. I hope they did laps around the kitchen because they need to sleep tonight. Too bad they can't do dishes or clean out the refrigerator.

Don't forget to check the webcam for the corpse flower at Gustavus. The link is below.

200 Concordia Students Caught Skinny Dipping

What a great story. Sounds like something Garrison Keillor would tell.

(AP) Moorhead, Minn. As many as 200 students decided to celebrate graduation at Concordia College by skinny dipping in a murky campus pond early Monday, authorities said.

A security officer tried to shoo the students out of the pond but they wouldn't cooperate, Concordia security chief Sherri Arnold said.

Moorhead police were called after students pushed the security officer's golf cart into the pond.

Police estimated that when they arrived on the scene, about 50-75 students were in various states of undress and fleeing, but no one was naked.

Although no one was arrested, several people could face charges for damage to the cart.

Arnold said 10 people were identified because they left their clothes and wallets behind.

Sunday was graduation day at Concordia.

Ranting by Regis

Please make note of our new email addresses. The old ones will be disconnected in about a week.

An email address is like a home address and we've gotten comfortable with hickorytec.net in the past few years so it's a bit disconcerting to change it just as it would a bit unsettling to move.
We've grown weary of being manipulated by the cable companies. In order to have DSL you must have a phone and in order to get this amazing "bundled rate" you need to have cable TV. The bill for all this is 100 dollars a month? Stack this on top of a hefty cell phone bill and a little light bulb goes off in a guy's head that says, "NOW JUST A SECOND HERE!" I know that this will sound old and grumpy but I remember when my phone bill was about 8 bucks a month, and no, the phone didn't have a hand crank for calling the operator.

Hickorytech, our provider (sounds deity-like), when contacted about the possibility of carrying internet only said "no, can't do it" and when I told them that I would seek service elsewhere their attitude was that "this is a choice which you'll have to make." So there you go. The arrogant bastards could have had a part of something but now have 100% of nothing.

Mediacom, the new guys, connected the cable internet hookup last night. The speeds are a bit better and we're happy. We're also happy to have ditched the house phone. Would it surprise anyone that all we get anymore are spam calls looking for donations or pleas to Help The Handicapped Goats of Botswana? We have also dumped the TV. The programming on television has degenerated into such a state with this reality TV tripe that it insults the intelligence of any reasonable person. Did I really see an ad for a new show that incorporates destructive and disruptive stunts into weddings? This has to be a guy-thing and I want to be the first to tell the guys that whoever came to you with that simple stunt should be fitted with concrete shoes because your Mrs may forgive; but she will never forget.

Ok, I am finished ranting. You get the picture and don't forget to update the email addresses.