Air you can wear

One of the local weather folks said that and it seems apropos today. (I looked apropos up on m-w.com and it seems like I used it correctly. I was unsure, not being bi-lingual.) The temperature is 86 and the dew point is 75. That's dang humid.

Kramer and I are inside in the AC tonight while Regis attends Transformers with the men from the neighborhood. They said it was a mandate...or a man date. Not sure which. When they talked about going, all the women wrinkled their noses.

I have a terrible hunger for Special K bars. I swear I can almost taste them. It must be like a olfactory hallucination unless their is a name for an hallucination related to taste. Doctors in the audience? Peter has to go to the orthopedic doc tomorrow to have his wrist checked and to have a cast put on his owie. I'll ask there. Peter will be mortified. I called him this morning at 9 to tell him it was a really bad idea to move to a place in the country. I added the disclaimer that he probably didn't want my advice and I knew that. He was incredulous. "You called me at 9 o'clock in the morning to tell me that?" I'm not sure he was more surprised by the fact that I called at that hour or that apparently I had been thinking about it overnight.

Regis gave me one of his RX allergy pills last night (felony) and that did the trick. Headache...gone. Post-nasal drip...gone. Fuzzy head...gone. Better living through chemicals.

I discovered a nice white wine at MGM, not the high-falutin' whine shop in Mankato. It's a sauvignon blanc and it's very tasty. By a company called Barefoot Cellars. Very cheap, too, at less than six bucks a bottle. They claim more gold medals than any other wine in their price category! and NEW UPSCALE IMAGE! Well, there's something to brag about, I guess. Maybe it's Boone's Farm in a new bottle. Oh horrors.

Monday

I don't like to make personal health complaints in a semi-public forum like this but I have some insidious allergy thing that makes my head hurt, my post-nasal drip and my head feel like a helium balloon. I took some kind of allergy pill but I think I felt worse.

I had to take my VW in today so we could get another remote key. You have to have a 30-minute appointment so they can program your key. Imagine that. I had to make several trips back and forth between the parts department and the service department where it was a hundred degrees and smelled like motor oil (not their fault, I know). The service guy sent me to get the parts. The parts woman wouldn't let me have them and said the technician should come and get them. The service guy was not very happy about that and marched off to find the parts woman. Oh, the other symptom of my allergy issue is crankiness. Pretty soon we were all cranky.

I had lunch with Peter who seems to be recovering from his wrist surgery. I think he's watched enough movies in the last five days to satisfy him for a while. He said the splint immobilizes his thumb and makes it difficult to open bags of snack foods, too. I'm sure. Check out the Opus cartoon in yesterday's paper. Very true. Most days I'd post it here but today I'm afraid of the copyright police so I won't.

I had to read the Sparknotes online to figure out that Manderley burned at the end of Rebecca. I suppose I could be considered an embarrassment as an English major. I really wish authors wouldn't work so hard to hide their meaning. Couldn't one of those characters just said, "Oh look at the flames in the distance. Manderley is on fire." It would not have diminished my enjoyment one iota.

Regis is trying to program our weather radio. As it is, we get warnings and watches for southern Oklahoma but nothing remotely near southern Minnesota. Good thing I'm not quite so scared of severe weather anymore. You need a manual, the internet, and a couple of hours to take care of this programming thing but we like having a weather radio.

I guess I've griped enough for one day.

Summer Weekend

What a great weekend. Not only was the weather perfect, but we achieved the perfect combination of productivity and laziness. This morning we got up at 7 and went to Menards for shelving for the garage. We came home and cleaned and organized the garage...the garage we couldn't park in for ten years because it was so full of crap. We spent the afternoon sitting in the shade reading, cooked dinner (steak and shrimp) on the grill, then went to Paul's for a garden party...pizza cooked in the cabana brick oven. Happy news...we found out that Mike and Erin, our magician-physician neighbors, are expecting a baby in December.

Off to bed.

Garden

Regis took some beautiful pictures of our garden tonight. In some ways it's embarrassing because if you've been in my garden, you know it doesn't look quite this good. There are bare spots, weeds, and ratty looking plants. But hey, it makes me feel a lot better about the garden magazines I look at because those gardens probably don't look as good as their pictures either.

I love this picture because of the way the white coneflowers look like little alien ships in the Milky Way of pink ones. If you can stand to look at more flower pictures, I posted 30+ of them on my mac site here. Make sure you do the slideshow.

We did a few projects today, something of which we are not fond. Regis hauled the front door out to the yard and sanded it so I could paint it. I hate to throw paint out so I used the same color as the trim, a dark rosy red. It's pretty but the paint was crappy and didn't even cover with two coats. It's done though, and the trim and the mailbox got a new coat of paint, too.

The other thing we did was to try and wash the egg off the side of the Toyota. Some little smart crappers have taken to egging cars on our street about once a month. Regis and Mike (the magician) are talking about setting up a webcam so they can nail the stinkers and get revenge by letting the air out of the tires or something equally sinister. I don't think I would mess with a magician.

Friday

What a beautiful evening! We sat outside for most of the late afternoon and evening hours. Watched a fat baby robin take a bath then wait on the edge of the birdbath for mama to tell him what to do. Mama was waiting in a tree and scolding us for being so close. They were eventually reunited...at least fat baby flew into the tree. He still had some of his pin feathers so he was a baby...not one of those big adolescents who squawk after the mother they are just as big as. We cooked chicken wings on the grill with a new marinade recipe, talked to the neighbors about their trip to Alaska, and watered the shrubs. Beautiful night.

Einr dbivd

The title of this post is what happened when I tried to type wine snobs but was one key off on both hands. Very funny. It could be a new language.

Wine snobs isn't exactly the phrase I was looking for anyway. Regis and I went to Mankato so he could get a hair cut tonight. We were a little early so we popped into a little wine shop by Aveda. You know the one I mean. Some very ordinary and friendly people used to own it and we liked going there because they didn't make fun of us for buying wine because we liked the name (Cote de Bone Rhone) or the label (Fat Bastard). Apparently those people are gone and the new people are quite obsequious and pretentious. They were "tasting" pink wines tonight. Tasting means we were doing the sipping but they used it like this: We're tasting pink wines tonight. I put this in a category with waiters saying to me that they will be "taking care of me" tonight. I don't think so, pal. Just bring the food and drink. So as we're tasting the pink wines, they are spouting off this insipid crap like, "This one is characteristic of tempranillo if you're familiar with that." It's a Spanish grape...I had to ask...not being familiar with it. Here are some more quotes: "This one has a peach nose." "There's a overtone of cinnamon and lilac." "The flavor of this one doesn't match the nose." All of this while glancing at their notes which makes one think this is really not knowledge they personally have of grapes and nose. I finally had to ask, "Have you seen Sideways?" Regis gave me a dirty look but I'm not kidding, it was an appropriate question. We tried the wine, looked around a bit, then got the hell out of there. Too much hoity toity for my taste. I like MGM, where they say, "Now here's a nice box of wine."

I did a google search (God bless the google) and found this hilarious website called The Funny Pages Guide to Wine Tasting. One of the lines they recommend is "Why, this has a blackberry and cassis flavor. And do I detect a hint of hung game?"

Driving class

The safe driving class wasn't so bad. It was a far cry from 8 hours (thankfully) and was even interesting at times. Your chances of having an accident go up as you get older so I guess it's worthwhile. Regis and I signed up to be volunteer safe driving teachers so any of you old farts reading this can take it from us in the future. Or...an alternative that I just now learned about...you can take the course online in the comfort of your own home. It costs the same and you get the same certificate for a discount on your car insurance. Click here to find out about it.

I planted my new coneflowers and coleus today. It was a perfect day to work in the garden...cool temp, nice breeze, no bugs. I started splitting some of my older perennials like the stella de oro daylily. That thing is supposed to bloom all summer but I'm lucky to get a week's worth of flowers. When I dug it up, there must have been a hundred of those little bulbs in the hole. I split it into three plants and that meant Ozymandias (a piece of yard art that froze and collapsed and lost it's head and arms) had to go. I think I posted the poem here before but if you don't remember, it's here. (What did blog writers do before hyperlinks?)

Peter's wrist surgery went fine. It took less time than the doctor anticipated so we were home by noon. I talked to him tonight and he said the pain is manageable and he's been sleeping a lot. Bet he loves that. I think he liked all those young nurses fawning over him at the surgery center, too. I tried to get him to come home and stay with us for a few days so his mama could take care of him but he didn't want any part of that.

That's all I have to report.

What am I doing here with all these old people?

Regis and I went to the AARP Safe Driving class last night. The instructor said our group, those taking the 8-hour class for the first time, are the youngest of her students. Great comfort in that. It was interesting and worthwhile especially if you consider accident statistics as people age.

We've had such beautiful cool weather the last day or so. I went to the garden center yesterday and bought a bunch of shade annuals for a buck each. They're a little leggy but by frost they should be just fine. I also bought some of the new colors of coneflowers.

This one is part of the Big Sky series and is called Summer Sky. I love coneflowers because they're pretty much mainenance free. They don't need water, dead heading, bug treatment, staking or anything. Check here to see more colors.

The next one is called Tiki Torch but it won't be available until next spring.

I watered a few things in the garden yesterday morning and my hosta looked great. When I came back from my trip to Mankato, one was eaten off at the ground. I cussed the rabbit for a minute then realized he might be thirsty so I put a pan of water by the tree.

I told Regis I want him to come out with a pad of paper and a pencil one day when I'm in the garden so he can take notes on what I want to move and separate in the fall. He wasn't sure he wanted that job. It's been a year of change in my garden. I've thinned out some things that were starting to take over and I've added a few new things. I'll take pictures this afternoon and post them. The coneflower bed is really pretty.

Breaking Story

Balloons suspend Kent Couch in a lawn chair as he floats in the skies near Bend, Ore., Saturday. Couch, on his way to Idaho, carried a global positioning system device, a two-way radio, a digital camcorder and a cell phone.

BEND, Ore. — Last weekend, Kent Couch settled down in his lawn chair with some snacks — and a parachute. Attached to his lawn chair were 105 large helium balloons.

Destination: Idaho.

With instruments to measure his altitude and speed, a global positioning system device in his pocket, and about four plastic bags holding five gallons of water each to act as ballast — he could turn a spigot, release water and rise — Couch headed into the Oregon sky.

Nearly nine hours later, the 47-year-old gas station owner came back to earth in a farmer's field near Union, short of Idaho but about 193 miles from home.

"When you're a little kid and you're holding a helium balloon, it has to cross your mind,'' Couch told the Bend Bulletin.

"When you're laying in the grass on a summer day, and you see the clouds, you wish you could jump on them,'' he said. "This is as close as you can come to jumping on them. It's just like that.''

Couch is the latest American to emulate Larry Walters — who in 1982 rose three miles above Los Angeles in a lawn chair lifted by balloons. Walters had surprised an airline pilot, who radioed the control tower that he had just passed a guy in a lawn chair. Walters paid a $1,500 penalty for violating air traffic rules.

It was Couch's second flight.

In September, he got off the ground for six hours. Like Walters, he used a BB gun to pop the balloons, but he went into a rapid descent and eventually parachuted to safety.

This time, he was better prepared. The balloons had a new configuration, so it was easier to reach up and release a bit of helium instead of simply cutting off a balloon.

He took off at 6:06 a.m. Saturday after kissing his wife, Susan, goodbye and petting his Chihuahua, Isabella. As he made about 25 miles an hour, a three-car caravan filled with friends, family and the dog followed him from below.

Couch said he could hear cattle and children, and he said he even passed through clouds.

"It was beautiful — beautiful,'' he told KTVZ-TV. He described the flight as mostly peaceful and serene, with occasional turbulence, like a hot-air balloon ride sitting down.

Couch decided to stop when he was down to a gallon of water and just eight pounds of ballast. Concerned about the rugged terrain outside La Grande, including Hells Canyon, he decided it was time to land.

He popped enough balloons to set the craft down, although he suffered rope burns. But after he jumped out, the wind grabbed his chair, with his video recorder, and the remaining balloons and swept them away. He's hoping to get them back some day.

Brandon Wilcox, owner of Professional Air, which charters and maintains planes at the Bend airport, said Thursday that Couch definitely did it. Wilcox said he flew a plane nearby while Couch traveled, and a passenger videotaped the flying lawn chair.

Whether Couch will take a third trip is up to his wife, and Susan Couch said she's thinking about saying no. But she said she was willing to go along with last weekend's trip.

"I know he'd be thinking about it more and more, it would always be on his mind,'' she said. "This way, at least he's fulfilled his dream.''

Birthday

Ella's Poppop celebrated his 55th birthday yesterday. We had a good time as always and lots of good food. Ella liked being in the kitchen with me and hung on the back of my shirt as I moved around. When I opened the refrigerator, she plunged her little hand into the martini pitcher. It's ok, she washed it off in the dog dish.


I told Emily I get tired of making cheese potatoes so yesterday I fiddled around all day with pickled vegetables and pretty white dishes. I saw an article in a magazine in the doctor's office the other day...the new relish tray. I got a couple of white serving dishes at Gordmans and bought a couple kinds of pickles...peppers, baby corn, artichoke hearts. This was not popular with some of the males in the family but the rest of us enjoyed it.

It was hot today but not as humid as yesterday. I went outside about 5:30 to move some lawn chairs to the garage and by the time I got there, a big wind was swirling around the temperature was plummeting. We had a downpour for a short time and then a steady rain for maybe twenty minutes.

Kathy and Harvey went with me to Minneapolis today to pick up some of Tiffany's things. She's moving back to Mankato the end of the month. Her third floor apartment has no air conditioning and I could feel the sweat drip off my hair onto my back. On the way home we talked about how spoiled we've gotten with AC. Years ago, nobody had it in their homes or their cars and apparently we did fine.

This morning I watched two birds take a bath in the birdbath I set up under the tree. All the years I had it in the other spot, I never saw a bird in it. There was one robin in the water and another waiting patiently at the side. A leaf from the birch tree fell into the water and the robin in the bath picked it up with his beak, turned and dropped it over the edge onto the grass. What a tidy bird. You wouldn't think a bird would care about that.

95 degrees and DP of 72

It's a hot one out there today. Except for a trip to the grocery store, I haven't left the yard. I went out a while ago and set up the lawn sprinkler to sprinkle into the birdbath so the little birds have water and a cool place to bathe. The feeders are full, too, so they won't have to go far for their vittles.

We must have a pair of cardinals in the neighborhood. The male is very friendly and will hop around in the grass when we're sitting right there. Last night he took a little shower while I watered the garden. I don't water much but the poor plants are parched after this long dry and hot spell.

It's really too hot to do anything.

Chemicals

Annie went to a fancy resort in California for her honeymoon and found this posted on the door. Note that the entire facility contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects and other reproductive harm. This is a fairly general warning. Kind of like the one after that dude was shooting people in Washington and Virginia. Authorities said to take precautions such as not walking in a straight line when you went to your car. Just stop for a second and picture this...people doing a zigzag walk to their cars through the grocery store parking lot. This sounds like something John Belushi made up in a cocaine stupor. (And there has to be a connection made to the government's color levels of security.)

Ragged segue....If you're a Belushi fan, check out Youtube. We found the John Belushi-Joe Cocker bit called Feelin' Alright. Too funny...and amazing that all that stuff is on Youtube not even four years after George Bush talked about the internets. Speaking of that, remember when Pete Rheume stood up at a school board meeting (before he was the mayor) and said he thought we had voted the internet down? What the hell. It boggles the mind, doesn't it?

July 4th

We had grand plans for the 4th but only managed to carry out fifty percent of them. It was too hot to go to the parade so we stayed home in the AC and decorated cupcakes to take to one of the three parties we were going to attend later in the day. We went to Bob's for a while, then to Tom and Betty's where we spent the afternoon in leisurely beer and food consumption. Betty and I sat on the swing and dangled our feet in a wading pool full of cold water. Regis smoked a cigar and had a nap in the shade. Tom floated on his air mattress in the big pool. We came home at 8, intending to go across the street to another party during the fireworks. What started out to be a short nap turned into what Tiffany called the big nap...we woke up at ten to go to bed for the night. I guess we're too old for that much fun in one day.

Today is Regis' double gold birthday...he's 55 on the 5th. We're celebrating on Saturday with a 'tini and wienie party. That's martinis and hot dogs for those of you who are not suave and sophisticated. Tuesday we start the AARP Over-55 driving class. The irony of that is the damn class goes until 10:00. I'll need No-Doze to stay awake until the end.

Warning

Regis brought a coffee cup home from work today. It had some blue printing on the side and a little white sticker on the bottom. When I put on my glasses, this is what I read:

Well, what the hell. We don't expect to be licking the side of the mug. Maybe they should have this sign somewhere so the people who paint the words on will see it. Does this mean it's only known to the State of California? Or is it known in other states and they don't care? If you get cancer from this mug does the State of California take responsiblity...since they knew?

And one more thought about this. What is "other reproductive harm"? I guess I wouldn't be holding this mug in your lap on your way to work, men. Bad mojo for your gonads.

The mug was advertising a website called WhereWords. Check out this brand name quiz:
http://www.wherewords.com/wst_page4.html

Today I watched Ella in the afternoon which was very pleasant. She talks non-stop now, some of it understandable and some of it not. We went to visit Jill and Larry and saw pictures of their new grand-baby Hannah Rachel. Ella decided since she saw Larry holding a baby that he must be Larry Poppop, which is what she calls her grandpa. She liked the sound of it and repeated it many times even after we went home. Larry Poppop over and over. We went to Ruttles for dinner and she loved the Iowa pork tenderloin that we shared. Good taste in meat, that baby.

It was a warm day but with a nice breeze. About 5:00 the wind went down and left us with this stifling putridly stagnant dead air. There isn't a leaf moving and the sky looks faintly green. I might have to find refuge in the basement tonight. I don't like storms that sneak up on me.

I've asked around and those fireworks tents only sell smoke bombs (snakes?) and things called fountains. Nothing that explodes. Seems like a waste of tent space to me but I don't like the exploding things anyway so I don't care. I'm just relieved there won't be a conflagration in the parking lot of Nelson Printing as I go in to buy Post-It notes and paper clips.

Cheese

This dude carved a 700-pound block of Land-O-Lakes cheese into a replica of Mount Rushmore. If you want more details than that, you'll have to google it yourself. I thought this was more than a guy needed to know. News of the weird for July 1st, I guess.

We motored to Canby yesterday afternoon. My cousin Deb and her husband Larry came from Phoenix to help us celebrate Mom's 77th birthday. We had a little wine, some brats on the grill, and a lot of laughs. We watched the finches and Orioles at the feeder. The adults feed grape jelly to the babies by transferring it from their beaks to the baby beaks. Most of the babies were about as big as the adults so maybe it's time those big oafs learn to suck that grape jelly themselves.

We mowed off the tall grass when we got home. We don't believe in lawn watering, only dormancy, so our yard looks pitiful in July. Unlike the neighbor's which looks like a putting green. Sometimes at night I sneak over there and walk barefoot on his grass. It's very nice but I don't want to pay his water bill and I think he has a giant carbon footprint which is not good.

Not much else to report.

Almost July

Here's a puzzle for you. When I was a kid my dad would sneak my brothers across the border into South Dakota to buy fireworks. We lived in the country so it wasn't a big deal to blow them off because the local sheriff was in town. It still scared me witless; they were so careless with them. Now I think there are four big, white tents in town selling fireworks. Is it the same stuff they used to sell in South Dakota? Why aren't people worried about those tents exploding? I don't even like to drive by them.

Regis is watching Letters from Iwo Jima and I'm pretending to watch. It's way too sad for me and there is (obviously) too much shooting and blowing things up. That's typical in war movies, I know, and probably explains why I don't like them. The music and the focus on the faces of the young Japanese soldiers make for very poignant scenes. Parts of it are in black and white which also adds to the drama. I prefer to not know about things like this.

Well, there's two things I don't like and prefer to ignore. I know there are more and most of them occur on the news. I've probably mentioned before that I started boycotting the television news when OJ Simpson killed his wife. That was the most disgusting spectacle I had ever seen and I decided I could live a rich and happy life without knowing about heinous crime and insipid criminals. So far, it's worked out. When there is a huge catastrophe like Hurricane Katrina or 9-11, I watch the news and can feel myself entering a dark vortex. It can't be healthy.

I wish I could think of something funny but I can't. I've checked out the blogs I read regularly...no pictures of Callum with a bowl of noodles on his head, no baby goats escaping into the blackberry shrubs, no marathon runners with poop stained pants. It's a dismal scene today folks. Better luck tomorrow.

The universe seeks balance

I went over to Mankato this afternoon to have lunch with my son, Peter, and to help him fill out his re-application for Minnesota Care insurance. Here are the things I am marveling at:

• Peter calls me at 1:45, fifteen minutes before I am to pick him up at work. He and Jake were thinking that since Jake's mom is coming down to Subway, too, the four of us could have lunch together. Only if you have had a sullen teen-age son will you see the irony in this.
• Jake's mom and I visit for a while at Subway. When the boys are done working and come over to visit with us, someone behind the counter says, "Wow, you guys look like your moms!" And they chuckle instead of pawing the ground, snorting and walking out the door.
  
• Jake's mom says Peter is so polite and respectful and helpful when he's at their house. He says, "I think I learned that from you, Mom."
• We have lunch and Peter talks about things from his adolescence that were difficult. He says he thinks he learned a lot from those things and they made him a different person. Ok, what have the aliens done with my son?
• I open the envelope containing the insurance application. He takes it, asks for a pen, and fills it out himself. He's brought copies of his pay stubs for the last six weeks which we need to send along.
  
• Peter says he called Minnesota Care on Tuesday and will call again on Thursday to make sure everything is ok with his application.
  
• Peter agrees, happily, to come to a family wedding the end of August.
• Peter asks about his sister, expresses some dismay about her behavior, then says, "Well, it's out of your hands." Peter being philosophical?
  
• Peter worries aloud about the surgery on his wrist July 9th and wonders how he will manage to move to a different apartment the end of the month with his wrist in a splint. Planning ahead? Can it be true?

There's more but this is enough to give you the idea. It brought tears to my eyes, let me tell you. There's hope. Always hope. It perches in your soul and comes fluttering out just when you need it most.

Fun with Dick and Jane

A weekend of debauchery. At least as much debauchery as old people can muster. We went to the Brew Fest Friday night with Tom and Betty which was fun, but crowded, loud, and stimulating. We saw Reverend Raven and the Chain Smokin' Altar Boys and we enjoyed them. We loved Lamont Cranston, a midwest blues band that's been around since we were all young. The big act, the Guess Who was marginal and we left after three songs. We went to McGuff's Irish Pub and had a pint of beer served in a plastic cup. Blasphemy.

Yesterday, the party bus (piloted by Bob with co-pilot Young Regis) picked us up at 3:30. We headed to the Brew Fest where the crowds were much lighter and we had a table in the shade. Let's just say we sampled many beers. In general we liked the old favorites, Finnegans and Schells' Dark and Boulevard Wheat. We also liked the classic Kato beer. We weren't fond of the sweet drinks, the hard cider and the flavored beer. We're purists when it comes to beer.

We had a great time watching the crowd. None of us are fashion mavens but I tell you what. The What Not to Wear folks would have a heyday at this event: old women in plunging necklines and short shorts, shirtless men who should not be shirtless in public, lumpy folks in tight clothes. John Gorka says what's pleasant in the darkness is plain scary in the light.

Our pilot and co-pilot provided an interesting ride. The van has almost two hundred thousand miles on it which makes for a few holes in the floor, not the best suspension, and a feeling like being propelled down the road in a tin can. It has no AC so the windows are open and your hair blows straight up. They played music of the day, lots of Guess Who and classic rock, and tried their best to rile up the old people. They looked like the Blues Brothers. Reg would jump out and open the door for us at all stops. It added to the adventure and the fun.

We ended the day at Betty and Tom's for dinner. Tom made rice pilaf and I made chicken wings and ribs. A fine ending to a great weekend.

This week had better be over

I finally made it out of work about 12:30, picked up the dog at the groomer and came home. I decided to go the liquor store before I changed my clothes. I met the nicest young man who knew a lot about beer and filled my cart. I am a salesman's dream. I told him we wanted to try interesting beers and the next thing I knew, I'd spent a lot of money on beer and given away our two excess tickets to Brew Fest. It reminded me of the Kirby Vacuum Cleaner caper.

When I got home, I was hot so I put on my pink pajamas with the yellow rubber ducks. Then I remembered that I wanted to cut some flowers for the spare bedroom but I thought I could sneak out to the garden fast and do it without putting clothes back on. So I'm out there in my pink pajamas and bare feet cutting sunflowers and the mailman comes up the sidewalk. I made a beeline for the house and didn't even make eye contact as I didn't think there was any reason to embarass him with an explanation. It was probably way more than the guy wanted to deal with at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Regis is horrified when I go outside in my nightgown or robe. I guess this is why.

We're going to the Brew Fest tonight, Jane and Dick are arriving about midnight, and we're going back to the Brew Fest tomorrow. I'll be back with the stories on Sunday.

I thought summer was for fun...

I got home from work (some fresh kind of hell today) about noon and went right out to work in the garden. I weeded the whole mess, watered a few things, and buried two dead birds. I found the dove that expired on the driveway a week ago, and the robin who kamikazied into the bushes was getting mummifed so he needed a burial, too. When I picked him up with the shovel, his leg fell off. I needed that today. When I got done with that, I went to the basement and started vacuuming cobwebs and spider stuff. At 7 o'clock I had a beer, took a bath, then burst into tears. Just too much I guess.

I know people who talk about drawing orioles to their yards with grape jelly. We're on our second feeder thing and so far, all we've managed to attract is moths and ants. Sunday I threw a feeder in the trash that must have drowned at least a dozen moths in grape jelly. It was disgusting. I also can't seem to attract hummingbirds. They come to the lilies right below the feeder but they turn up their pointy little noses at the red hummingbird food. Maybe they can just fend for themselves then.

We sat in the yard for a while tonight and watched our neighbor try to set up a timed sprinkler system. They're going to Alaska for 8 days and they think this will keep their lawn and shrubs fortified while they're gone. Funny thought. She and Regis had a good time talking about how Alaska might have changed in the last 30 years since he was there. I bet she went home with "old fart" in the thought bubble over her head. Don't tell him I said that.

I finished Straight Man and started one of David Sedaris' books. He's funny but not as funny as Bill Bryson or Garrison Keillor. Maybe I have a stunted sense of humor. I don't laugh out loud at things that are funny, or at least that claim to be funny on the book jacket. I've laughed so hard at Bill Bryson that I have to get up off the couch so I don't choke. Now that's funny. I don't usually think movies are funny either come to think of it. I laughed at All of Me with Steve Martin and at one part in Meet the Fokkers. And I'm not fond of jokes. I have a couple favorites (the dyslexic agnostic insomniac, for one) but most don't make me laugh. I guess it's true...stunted sense of humor.

Book reviews

A couple things I've discovered about book reviews. Where to find them that is:

• Put a book title in google. Hit the search button. When the results come up, go to the more menu at the top of the page and go down to books. A whole page of reviews and information about the book will pop up.
• Ready, Steady, Book is an independent book review website, working in association with The Book Depository which is devoted to reviewing the very best books in literary fiction, poetry, history and philosophy.
• Reading Matters
• Guardian Unlimited Books' top 10 literary blogs
  

Books

I've been thinking about this since I read one of Charlie's latest blog posts about the books he's reading and the books he's read. He reviewed five books, and I had not a clue about any of them. Do we shop at different bookstores? Look at different websites? What makes something catch one person's eye and not another? What makes one person love a book and another loathe it?

A couple years ago, Regis and I saw a review for a new Larry McMurtry book called Sin Killer. We are both big fans of Lonesome Dove so we ordered Sin Killer and waited anxiously for it to arrive. I started it first and never finished it. The only thing that book was good for was laughs. I would read some of the outrageous dialogue aloud at the lunch table at work. People would guffaw. It was ridiculous. Here's one review from Amazon that sums it up:

This silly book could not possibly have been written by the genius of Lonesome Dove, so Larry McMurtry must be dead or missing in the wilderness, perhaps stuffed inside some frozen dead buffalo on the prairie in a blizzard , trapped by the frozen hide. Or hiding, maybe. I read the first book, hoping it would Start at some point and Go somewhere, but it never did. This is the silliest, dumbest, most surreal book purporting to be about something actual, that I've ever read and contains some of the most annoying, egregious, and insulting characters ever created. This book must be a spoof on spoofs of the J. F. Cooper genre, is all I can conclude. I will not bother reading the rest of this "series," it is irredeemable! Mr. Larry McMurtry must be found---No Author Left Behind!

I like that reference to NCLB, too! So, thinking this has to be the dumbest book ever written and Larry McMurtry must be hanging his head (all the way to the bank) for publishing it, I checked out other reviews. There were people who loved this book, people who thought it was the best book he's ever written, people who had already pre-ordered the next four books in the saga. Gads. Check it out at the library (Just read a few pages...don't actually check it out and take it home because this is a book, like Monica Lewinsky's autobiography, that you don't want to have in the car with you if you should have a heart attack and have to go the hospital. The EMTs would see it on the seat of the car and would tell rude stories about you later at the bar.) and see if I'm not right. Ridiculous characters, ludicrous dialogue, stupid plot line. It has everything.

I'm not inclined to pick up science fiction, crime, or fantasy. Regis likes to read about natural disasters (and the more disastrous, the better...earthquakes, volcanoes, leprosy, floods) but I like books about personal disasters...death, divorce, addiction, and all other modes of individual dysfunction. I can deal with it on a smaller scale but I don't like to know about the large-scale catastrophe lurking in the future.

There you go. There's something for everybody. I trust Charlie's taste, though. I think we've both read the story of ferret legging.

Father's Day

Regis and his boys. We had a nice dinner...hot ham sandwiches, potato salad, beans, and Buster Bar dessert. We walked around the garden for a while after dinner but it was pretty steamy and the rain was starting so we went back into the AC. Ella was entertaining. She ran back and forth from living room to kitchen, carrying purses, much of the evening. We sang The Wheels on the Bus before she went home. It's her favorite song.

Since we celebrated Father's Day last night, today we are going to the most manly place in the world: Menards. We need a couple pieces of hardware: something for the toilet, a switch for my bedside lamp, and probably some kind of spray foam. Some fun.

Addendum

We went to Home Depot where they apparently do not believe in air conditioning. I thought I was going to have a heat stroke back in the lighting section. We couldn't settle on a ceiling fan and couldn't find a shower curtain so we went to the other man store, Menards. They had everthing we needed, then some.

We stopped at B&N where we each found a few books, of course. I had ordered Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson. The webpage says: An early morning adventure out stealing horses leads to the tragic death of one boy and a resulting lifetime of guilt and isolation for his friend, in this moving tale about the painful loss of innocence and of traditional ways of life gone forever. It's translated from Norwegian. We found a few books on the "buy two get one free table" and Regis found a couple of remaindered books. We're set.

We went to Mazatlan for lunch. It advertises as authentic Mexican food and there are lots of ethnic folks who eat there, unlike the other Mexican places so that says something. We asked about the cheese which was delicious and the waitress said it's like mozzarella, but Regis googled it and found this:

Queso oaxaca:

Also known as quesillo, this is by far the most popular cheese for making quesadillas. It is a stretched curd cheese, kneaded and wound into balls. It should be pulled apart into thin strings before using to fill tortillas or melted on cooked food.

I had two margaritas with my lunch and had to take a nap when I got home. What a surprise. Regis has been buzzing around fixing the toilet, hanging the shower curtain, putting the new switch in the lamp...and I am lying on the couch reading a book. We also bought Kramer a few new toys at Pet Expo. He couldn't have toys when Bert was alive because Bert hogged them and they would fight. Now he has a football, a stuff squeaky bone, an orange dumb bell, and a big stuffed ball.

Back to the salt mines tomorrow. Damn lottery tickets.

So long, Bertrand Russell!

For Bert: A Poem

Here’s to Bert
Ye little shit
We’ve gathered round
The folks ye’ve bit.

Twenty pounds
Of blood and bones
Now ye’re in
These paw-shaped stones.

Ye won’t be bitin’ us
no more
So, journey on
To heaven’s shore.

And when ye reach the pearly gate
Don’t tell em how
ye used to growl and bait
and bare yer snaggly taith
And bite whoever dared come near
Ye snarly, cranky, foul-tempered wraith.

We’ll miss ye though
Ye ornery cur
Ye little sack
Of bitey fur.

We had a little memorial service for Bert last night. As planned, Regis tossed his ashes to the wind in the garden, we put the stepping stones by the path, and I read the poem. So, Bert's officially moved on to greener pastures.

It's raining here this morning and it would have been nice to sleep in. Rolling thunder, gentle rain...what a lullabye. Unfortunately, sleeping in for us is about 5 o'clock. We decided to get up and read the papers, then go to Hermie's for breakfast. We're having company again tonight for Father's Day but the house is clean and there isn't much cooking to do so I can take it easy today.

Dead animal conundrum

There is a small dove that appears to be dying in my driveway. It hasn't moved since 11 o'clock except to inch over into the shade. I'm glad it can move that much because I was trying to think of something I could take out to shield it from the sun. As I was going onto the house, I saw a dead robin that had apparently done a kamikaze flight into the picture window and crash landed in the shrubbery. It's like a scene from The Birds around here. Regis has a mole trap set up in the front yard and I'm avoiding that, too. It's creepy.

One day a couple summers ago, I was going to take a shower. I was bare naked leaning over the tub when I spotted what appeared to be a small plastic frog on the tub ledge. I peered at it, thinking that it was funny LuAnn, the cleaning lady, had left a toy there. As I was staring at this small toy frog, IT BLINKED IT'S BLOODY EYES. I backed up, got dressed, and went to find a neighbor to remove the frog from my bathroom. It looked like one of those poisonous Amazonian tree frogs and I wasn't going to take any chances. I didn't mind however, asking a neighbor to take a chance. Jan from next door came in and captured the frog in a Rubbermaid container and liberated it in the backyard. I learned later that this (non-poisonous) tree frog is very common in Minnesota and can often be found clinging to windows on humid summer nights. How could I have lived here for fifty years and never seen one? And how did it get in my bathroom?

We're having a small memorial ceremony for Bert tomorrow night. We've invited anyone Bert has ever bitten, which would make quite a crowd now that I think of it. I guess he didn't bite that many people, just the same people multiple times. Regis made some stepping stones for the garden out of paw print molds, mortar mix, and some of Bert's ashes. Betty said she would prepare the eulogy. We'll have a cold beer under the apple tree, plant the rest of the ashes and then retire to the house for hot beef sandwiches and cole slaw. We'll probably do the same when Regis or I kick the bucket.

Chicken wings and high ropes

Here's our current favorite recipe for chicken wings on the grill:

Spicy Cayenne Chicken Wings

Prep time: 5 minutes
Marinating time: 2-3 hours
Grilling time: 16-18 minutes

Marinade
1/4 cup olive oil
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 and 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
2 teaspoons dried oregano
2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon celery seed
1 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

16 chickn wings

In a small bowl, whisk the marinade ingredients. Put wings in a bag and pour the marinade over them. Make sure they're all covered. Refrigerate for 2-3 hours.
Grill over direct medium heat for 16-18 minutes, turning occasionally.

We've learned: You can leave out the paprika. It doesn't seem to really matter. Don't leave out anything else. They are delicious.


On a more humorous note, I got this email today:

Just a reminder about the team building activity on Thursday:
Meet by the garage at 8:30 A.M.
Team Building Activity 9-11 A.M. low ropes, team building, communication, trust. 11-12 P.M. high ropes options.
Wear comfortable clothes
Wear closed toe shoes-no sandals
Bring sunscreen, hats, sunglasses
I will have the release forms to be signed on Thursday.

My editorial comments: You may have seen this on the Discover Channel. They put a helmet on your head, strap you into a device, and dangle your ass from ropes 40 feet in the air. First of all, I would never sign a waiver. When they drop me to the forest floor, I want to be able to sue for every penny they have. Second of all, I don't remember hearing about this ever before. I would have accused these people who planned this little event of hitting the crack pipe. There is no way I would even consider this. I am: Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off.

My friend Joanne says this could work out just fine... I have a better chance of breaking my neck than picking the right lottery numbers. What a cynic.

Technology rocks!

Saturday with Ella

Ella came to spend part of Saturday afternoon with her Nana and Bopop. She loves the swing so we pull lawn chairs up and have a fine time. She does all her tricks, points at things, says the name, makes us laugh. She was delightful.
We made many trips up and down the steps and around the garden. She loves the steps most of all but still has to take a hand to go up and down.
There's a lot of daisies so we let her pick as many as she liked.
She loves the garden art, especially the frogs and turtles that are hiding in the plants. Kramer is always at the window watching us. She said he was playing peek-a-boo. Regis tried bringing him out but he gets too wild and he scares her.

The reason we live here

Today is the reason we live in Minnesota. The temperature is about 70 with a nice cool breeze and there are minimal bug problems. Regis and I have been enjoying the porch since he got home from work and except for the yipping dog next door, it's perfect. That dog's bark could shatter glass. I wish he'd go back to Dubai and get swallowed by a python.

We have a leisurely weekend planned. We have a few chores to do tomorrow, then we'll pick Ella up for the afternoon. We might go to Nicollet to Schmidt's Meat Market. Once you eat their bacon, you never go back to grocery store bacon. They make wonderful summer sausage and brats, too. Sunday we're going to Rockin' in the Quarry. My favorite band City Mouse, is playing first, then the Symphony will play the 1812 Overture, complete with cannons. What could be better?

Trip to Minneapolis

My trip to Minneapolis was as bad as I anticipated. The traffic, to start with, was horrendous. I saw people engage in incredible acts of tom-foolery: dodging cones to get in lanes that were closed, driving on the shoulder to butt in line, giving the finger as they passed me at speeds faster than sound. I was chased into town by ominous looking cumulonimbus mammatus clouds, swirling winds, and big fat raindrops. Just a little foreshadowing. The ramp that I always take into downtown was closed so I had to get over into that rushing traffic again. I got lost. The hotel didn't have valet parking and I burst into tears at the thought of getting back into the car and trying to find a ramp. (They offered me the handicapped stall which I accepted with chagrin.) I took a ride in a dirty old cab with a very sleezy driver who wouldn't visit with me. It went downhill from there. I'm very glad to be home.

Thought

I could use a little light and love in the next few days.

Although all men share a common destiny, each individual also has to work out his personal salvation for himself. We can help each other find the meaning of life, but in the last analysis, each is responsible for finding himself.
Thomas Merton

One of the great spiritual truths is that each person must work out his or her own personal salvation. When a person you care about is in trouble, you can reach out to support his or her healing but past a certain point, you can do no more. No matter how much you love, you cannot carry another person’s burden.

What can you do when someone you love is in pain? First, affirm that there is a purpose behind the experience. Know that the soul has some important lesson to learn that will be of great value to him or her.

Second, although you cannot directly intervene, your positive thoughts and prayers do make a difference. Visualize your friend surrounded by light and love. This type of healing acts directly on the soul level and does not encounter resistance from the conscious mind.

Finally, know that divine protection is present. The forces of light are always available to the person who requests help. Ultimately, no soul can be lost; as all who ask will be guided to the safety of their spiritual home.

From the book Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

New goat

Regis rolled his eyes when I showed him this picture. (He thinks my fascination is odd and I'm not saying it isn't.) It's two new baby goats from my favorite website and goat farm in Washington. The tiny one is Peanut and the monster one is Goatzilla. They were born from the same mother, minutes apart. There's a middle-sized one, too, called Boxcar Betty. These are relatives of Xanthoria, my god goat child. Read about Peanut here.

That's all I have to report today.

Picture of the Day

Regis thinks this is the picture of the weekend. He says Evynne is very photogenic...those of you in the background can be offended, I guess, that you are not the object of his photographic admiration. It is a pretty picture. She should be on a billboard advertising sunscreen or something.

I made some horrendous Chinese concoction for dinner tonight. It was called tofu lo mein. It started with tofu and went downhill from there. Regis liked it and thought it was funny that one of my complaints was that it was too white. This from a Norwegian, he said. I wouldn't have eaten it all except that I made it. I don't think I'll bother to eat it again. Ick.

Our neighbor who has been in Dubai for the past year came home with a damn yipping dog. They have a pet door so the dog can come and go and distub the neighborhood all day to its heart's content. Little monster. She barks and Kramer goes crazy, pacing around the house from window to window. We got Burt's ashes back, by the way. In a tiny box about the size of a baseball. Reggie opened it, took a look, and said, "Smells like piss." We all laughed. Burt will go into the garden for his final rest.

My family gathered at Lake Reno near Glenwood this weekend. Mom hosted the event, we filled four large cabins, and people came from as far away as Ohio. This is most, but not nearly all of us. The newest member of the family is Ezra, 4-months old. His mama, Michelle, is right next to him.

We always loved having a fire on the beach when Mom and Dad had their cabin. Even though the weather this weekend was unpredicatable and there were a few heavy rain showers, the evening was gorgeous and we got to have a fire and roast marshmallows. In this picture: Tiernen, Jason (Nicole's boyfriend), Nicole, Jody, and Rachel on Helen's lap.
This is Dave's family: David and Joan, Tiernen and Jeremy. The photogenic dog is Champ. Doesn't she look happy to have her picture taken?
This is Bruce and Jody's family. Cybil and Shawn (not pictured) came from Ohio. The little girls are Evynne and Darby.
These are old friends, the Anderts. They were neighbors of ours in Canby when we first moved there when I was in second grade. They're like family and can tell as many stories about us as we can. They drove over from Villard for the afternoon.
This is Pat and his daughter Rachel. Where's Helen? We missed amanda, too, who is in Chile studying (could be she's studying wine, we're not completely sure).
Regis always brings cigars for the men. He's also the reunion archivist so he takes hundreds of pictures of the event...some planned and some candid.
This game which goes by Goofy Golf, Polish Golf, Norwegian Golf and probably a few others, was popular with everyone. It looks a lot easier than it is. You can buy it at Target...this was home-made with PVC pipe and golf balls.
Steve and his boys: Duncan, Ian, and Caleb. Ezra and Michelle are in the picture at the top. Nicole is holding Ezra.

I name a goat!

Xanthoria Elegans is the name I suggested for this goat and it's the one they picked. Cool! This is a great website if you like goats and I do. They have the most interesting little faces. Go to the website and scroll down to read about Penrose. The goat who writes this blog has quite a way with words!

Gardening in the rain

I drove home from work in a downpour. On the way home, I decided that I would plant a few of the perrenials I bought over the weekend so they didn't have to sit in the hot sun all weekend. I didn't think I'd get too dirty so I didn't change my clothes. I planted the astilbe, the lobelia, and a couple of cardinal flowers and by then I was so muddy I didn't mind that it started to rain again. I finished up with the herbs, the tomatoes, a few peppers...and my new grass:

• Foerster's Feather Reed Grass (pictured at top)
  
• Shenandoah Switch Grass
  
• Elijah Blue Fescue
• Little Bluestem

This is the Shenandoah Switch Grass. It gets red in the fall. I love grasses. I had several plants a few years ago but had to sacrifice them when the pampas grass (miscanthus) got out of hand. They're beautiful in the winter, too. I decided to go with only green this year...no annual flowers....just herbs and grass. Last year was a hosta year.

I should plant my whole yard in perennial grass...the kind you don't have to mow. My neighbors would probably get up a petition to throw us out. They aren't much for the wild, random look of my yard. They're more into plastic edging and rocks.

Back to the salt mines

Since we didn't have winning lottery tickets, we had to get up and go to work today. What a hardship. The printing business is crazy after a long weekend. I suppose people forgot all about their need for post-it notes over the holiday, then they woke up this morning with a burning desire which meant Regis was hoppin' all day. We had graduation at HLC for our class of one and we do it up nicely. We have the graduate walk down the aisle to Pomp and Circumstance, we order a big sheet cake with decorative writing, and we have a few speeches. The kids all think it's wonderful.

Kramer is experiencing some separation anxiety lately. He howls like a banshee when we leave the house. And my VW Beetle has a problem with the security system...it goes off randomly about fifty percent of the time when you either start it or get out the passenger side. Neither of those actions has anything to do with stealing the car and besides I'm the owner. I should be able to get out of either door. It's embarassing to jump in the car in front of the post office and drive down Third Street with the horn honking and the flashers flashing. That segue was not as ragged as it seems...both stories relate to loud noise.

There's a great summer reading list in the Tribune. It was generated by the Book Babes who have their own website and believe that books are better than Botox. If you look at the website right now, the current posting has a list of other websites where you can find books and book reviews. It's an endless web. I'm reading a book now called Riding the Bus With My Sister. It's a non-fiction story about a woman and her disabled sister who rides the city bus all day long. For her birthday, the sister decides to ride along for a year. I like it.

Memorial Day Weekend

Saturday...The garage sale was a success. We made enough money to take the friends who helped out for dinner to Hermie's....our favorite bait shop and restaurant extraordinaire. Quite the social event. We went to the Redmen Club (St. Peter's very non-politically correct men's organization) for an after-dinner drink.

Sunday....I think I cleaned up the house a little. Must not have been memorable. Imagine kitchen-floor mopping being non-memorable. We watched Ella in the evening while Bob and Emily went to a movie. She's so darn sweet. Just as she was going to sleep on my lap, she rolled over, pointed at Regis and said, "Boppop". Regis just melts. Nothing like a baby to do that to you.

Monday...I got up early, cleaned the kitchen and had breakfast, then went out to dig up a daylily garden. I estimated it would take an hour. Three hours later, I was almost done. I dragged a huge wheel barrow, a wagon, and four boxes of daylilies to my neighbor. I decided I was too tired to plant anything so came in the house to clean up. I always look out the bathroom window when I take a shower. There was my neighbor to the south pulling the Engelman ivy off the ugly chain link fence. It's their fence but I can't imagine why someone wouldn't want to look at that beautiful ivy instead of chain link. It was the first year it had berries on it. I marched out and told the guy he could just drop it over the fence and I would plant it somewhere else. I know now I won't but it made me sick to think of the three years I spent cultivating that plant to have someone rip it down.

We went to Lexington to the Hide-Away Resort for an early Memorial Day dinner with Betty and Tom. They have wonderful appetizers: fresh green beans and onions deep-fried in a light tempura batter. Much better than the usual frozen fare. When we got back to town, we went to Betty and Tom's and sat in their new screened in cabana. There was a nice breeze that helped keep the bugs out even though their dogs ran in and out every time someone walked by on the path.

We love Tom and Betty's new dog Gonzo. He's dumber than a box of hammers but he has such a cute face. He looks like Winston Churchill only not as smart. If you talk to him, he makes this funny face like he's trying to understand you. He runs out of the cabana through the door but when he tries to come back in, he slams into the screen. We laugh every time.

Our neighbor, Mike Callahan, who did the magic show at our St. Patty's party also does comedy. He ran over Friday night to tell us that he had just gotten a call that he'd gotten a spot at Goonie's in Rochester. He's done the MC gig there before but this is the second spot from the top and apparently pretty competetive. He was thrilled about this. We're making plans to take all the neighbors down for his show on October 2nd. Mike's also planning a magic show for adults in St. Peter the week before Halloween.

I keep nagging Regis to check the lottery tickets because I have a bad case of "I don't want to go to work tomorrow."

Yard Sale

We're having another yard sale this weekend. All the stuff was on tables and in boxes after the sale last weekend so we just put up a few signs and hauled it down to the curb again. We have fun by drinking a few beers, making some dogs on the grill, and visiting with people. Last night, every collection of stuff people picked up was three bucks. Heavier stuff was cheaper since we really don't want to haul it somewhere else at the end of today.

Not YOUR college cafeteria

Regis and I wandered up the hill to Gustavus to eat in the college cafeteria tonight. Only the seniors (senors, hahahaha) are left and most of them were on a boat cruise (thanks for that info, Jill!) so it was quiet. The people who worked there were very friendly and we enjoyed browsing the Italian section, the Pizzeria, the Grille, the Rotisserie, and all the other areas. This is not what the MSU cafeteria was like in 1970, believe me. I think it's why we all had those funky electric popcorn poppers that we used to heat up soup. Microwaves and dorm refrigerators had not been invented yet. We had a nice dinner and wandered home in our new Beetle.

I took a school trip to Albert Lea today. Just my luck that Blue Earth county was under a severe storm watch when I was coming home. Minneapolis was getting tennis ball size hail and fifty mph winds so I was glad to dodge the storms and get home before it rained anymore.

There's one of Kent Haruf's books on the table in the porch. If you haven't read his books, I'd recommend you check them out. These are my favorites:

• Eventide. Knopf, 2004
• Plainsong. Knopf, 2000
• The Tie That Binds. Vintage 2000

They're wonderful stories worth reading more than one time. I always wanted to send Eventide to Robert Redford. I thought he could make a great movie out of it. This is from the publisher:

Colorado, January 1977. Eighty-year-old Edith Goodnough lies in a hospital bed, IV taped to the back of her hand, police officer at her door. She is charged with murder. The clues: a sack of chicken feed slit with a knife, a milky-eyed dog tied outdoors one cold afternoon. The motives: the brutal business of farming and a family code of ethics as unforgiving as the winter prairie itself.

In his critically acclaimed first novel, Kent Haruf delivers the sweeping tale of a woman of the American High Plains, as told by her neighbor, Sanders Roscoe. As Roscoe shares what he knows, Edith's tragedies unfold: a childhood of pre-dawn chores, a mother's death, a violence that leaves a father dependent on his children, forever enraged. Here is the story of a woman who sacrifices her happiness in the name of family—and then, in one gesture, reclaims her freedom. Breathtaking, determinedly truthful, The Tie That Binds is a powerfully eloquent tribute to the arduous demands of rural America, and of the tenacity of the human spirit.

Well, that's enough for tonight. There are rumbles of thunder in the distance, Kramer's lying on the couch chewing his toy (he could never have toys before...Bert hogged them and started fights if he didn't get ALL the toys), and I'm tired.